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Post by Tiff on Aug 25, 2011 1:01:18 GMT -5
Reese was panicking. Her ipod was blaring in her ears, a song on repeat, digging and clawing it's way deeper and deeper into her with each repeat. She was doing that thing she hated most, reading into something, taking something and making it fit to her situation or her presumed situation. It wasn't just this song either, it was everything she seemed to do or encounter. Movies, commercials, people on the street. And even as she sang along to the words to the song, she knew the song's meaning had absolutely nothing to do with what she was going through, nothing at all. The closest thing it represented, truthfully, was her relationship with Jaymen Logano. Sure they had big plans and they were in sight. Things up until this moment were going their way and as planned, and to the best of her knowledge he'd always have her hand, even through this possibly confusing time, and she'd have his. She knew Chase had moved back to the dorm a few days previous and if nothing else she could find comfort in what would be Jaymen's room, even if he wasn't there to do the comforting. She took the stairs upon entering the familiar dorm building and started straight for the third floor and the room number Chase had given her.
Chase wasn't in, as Reese expected, he'd most likely be helping Bekah move in to her dorm or looking for his classrooms or something. She didn't mind though, she was used to being alone in the dorm room without Chase, she actually preferred it most of the time, because Jay was usually with her. She used the key that Chase had already made for her and slipped into the empty room where Jay's things would soon be. She turned the volume down on her iPod and found her self staring at her stomach. It didn't look any different, but she felt different and worried she was really different on the inside. She averted her eyes and wished she could telepathically send Jay a message, urging him to walk through the door in the next couple of minutes before she lost her mind with worry.
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Post by Kelli-wa on Aug 26, 2011 0:41:44 GMT -5
Jaymen walked through the campus with a few of his bags. He only had a couple suitcases on him right now. He would go out to his car for the rest later, or pull it up to the door when there were less people trying to move in. It was just a lot easier that way. He was having a hard time with the situation as well, but ever since that day he hadn't acted exactly the same around his girlfriend. It wasn't noticeable, but inside he felt different and he definitely felt guilty for not saying something to her that day. He hadn't had the money for that pill anyway, so why worry her? He licked his lips lightly as he walked into the building and up to his former dorm. He smiled as he stepped into the suite. Home Sweet Home. He made his way to his room, and was quite surprised to see Reese there already.
He smiled, though, he still loved her, that wouldn't change, it was just the guilt was eating him away a little bit inside. "Hey, babe, you beat me here," he said lightly. He set his bags down and walked over to give her a hug. As he wrapped his arms around her shoulders he gave her a kiss on the temple, "I suppose this means Chase is already moved in?" he asked with a light smile on his lips.
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Post by Tiff on Aug 26, 2011 1:06:12 GMT -5
He'd startled her, but she'd regained her cool composure before he pushed the door open to his own room. "Oh, yeah, and yes, Chase is already moved in and off roaming the campus." She gave him a barely noticeable smile, which vanished probably before his eyes could determine there had been a trace of one on her lips. "I hope it's alright that I'm in your room." She'd been avoiding him a bit the last couple of weeks, only seeing him when she didn't have any excuse not to be with him, but she hadn't noticed the change in him as he'd intended when they were together. "One more year and I'll be downstairs." She attempted a bigger smile and then it too disappeared. She was in fact very excited about getting out of high school and being on campus with her brother and Jaymen, but if what she suspected was true, she might not get that chance. She wrapped her arms around him for a brief hug and released him, putting a small distance between them.
"I uh, I came here because usually you comfort me and since I couldn't get a hold of you and I knew you'd be here eventually, I just came here." She paused, but not long enough for him to say anything. "I've been keeping something from you." Another very short pause, perhaps a chance to read the expression on his face in response to what she'd just said. "I didn't really think I needed to worry you about it at first, but now that it's been a while and I'm no longer mildly concerned, but full out worried, I think I should tell you." Another short pause. "I'm late." She bit her bottom lip and her hands overlapped each other on her flat stomach. "I'm not just late, more like I've stopped and it's been multiple months."
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Post by Kelli-wa on Aug 26, 2011 7:27:14 GMT -5
Jaymen noticed something was off immediately after she pushed him away. She hadn't done it in a mean way, she just acted as if she was uncomfortable in the embrace and usually, that wasn't the case at all. He started to get worried. He let his tongue trail across his bottom lip, "Yeah, I can't wait until you're here. I miss you when you're gone," he said as if he hadn't noticed. He watched her as she started to speak again, but about something totally different. This something wasn't just any little thing, it was important. He could tell by the way she was standing and by the way she was talking. The words, while Reese usually sounded very intelligent, were very serious and they sounded different. He took a deep breath and nodded when she let it out that she was late. "Of course," he said with a nod. He turned around and let his hand slam into the side of the dresser. "Damnit," he said under his breath. He wasn't mad at her, of course he wasn't mad at her, it was his fault, but this wasn't supposed to happen. It was supposed to just go away. It was supposed to let itself clear up. There wasn't supposed to be another person in this equation. Not until they were ready for that, and he definitely wasn't ready for that. He was only on his second year in medical school and he wasn't very good at it. He was struggling. "I'm sorry," he said lightly, not turning back to her, he just didn't want her to see the look on his face, terror. He didn't want her to see him scared.
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Post by Tiff on Aug 26, 2011 23:23:21 GMT -5
His statement through her off and she had her guard down, allowing him to startle her yet again when he slammed his hand against the dresser. His swear word didn't go unnoticed either and in a matter of seconds it dawned on her why he'd said 'of course' and was so pissed off. He knew. She crossed her arms across her chest and walked to the window, staring out, unseeing. "You knew before I did didn't you?" She said softly, allowing a little bit of anger slip out. "Why didn't you say something before? I've been struggling with this for quite some time now thinking it'll come, I'm just not completely regular yet, although I've been regular, I was just looking for any excuse you know." She was no longer angry or even irritated, just scared. "Jay..." She didn't turn away from the window or even look at him, but her deepest desire was to have him holding her from behind. "I bought a test, I just haven't taken it yet." She'd let go of all hope that it was just irregularity or anything other than a baby. "I love you know matter what the outcome of this test is, but you've got to be honest with me from here on out, you can't keep anything from me, I'm a big girl and if we both mess up by negligently not protecting ourselves and I don't realize it, I need you to tell me so I can take measures to take care of it." She wasn't speaking of abortion, never abortion, but she'd paid attention in her health classes and knew growing fetus' needed vitamins and certain care and that it was just outright dangerous not to take care of it.
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Post by Kelli-wa on Aug 27, 2011 1:21:58 GMT -5
Jay turned around as she questioned him, he hadn't known. He knew that they hadn't used protection, but he hadn't meant to do that. He didn't mean to forget, it had just happened. "No, no, I didn't know anything. I mean, I knew that I forgot to use protection, I remembered after the fact. I just... I didn't have the money to fix it anyway, and I didn't want to worry you and I didn't know what to do, so I just..." He stopped, trying to figure out his rambling in his own mind, trying to come up with a logical reason as to why he'd done it. He ran his hand through his hair and rested his hand on the back of his head, "Reese..." He sighed lightly and nodded at everything she was saying, agreeing with every word. He looked at her again and sighed. "I'm sorry." He walked over, closer to where she was at the window, but not all the way there. "I'm just not sure what I'm supposed to do. I wish this wasn't happening."
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Post by Tiff on Aug 27, 2011 20:33:31 GMT -5
Reese turned and faced him. "I didn't know we didn't use protection the last time." She took a breath and closed the gap between them, cautiously wrapping her arms around him, her cheek resting on his chest. "Future reference, just tell me even if you think it'll worry me or make me upset." She moved away and retrieved her purse. "I'm going to take this and whatever the outcome we're going to be fine." She pulled out a test. "Adoption is always an option and it can be an open adoption or a closed one." She disappeared into the bathroom and after five minutes she walked back out and sat down on his bed.
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Post by Kelli-wa on Aug 29, 2011 0:42:01 GMT -5
Jay nodded lightly at her as she turned to him. He just assumed that she'd known. Since he didn't know which one to actually address first. He let his arms wrap around her as she hugged him. "I'm sorry," was all he could think to say and he didn't feel that it was the right thing, but at the moment he had no idea what that 'right thing' was. He nodded lightly as she talked about how adoption was an option, but he wasnt really processing what she was saying. She then disappeared into his bathroom and he thought for a minute. He didn't really know what to do. He walked to the window and set his forehead against it, groaning lightly. "Damnit," he whispered. As she walked back out he stayed in place. He couldn't figure out what to say so his solution was to say nothing.
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Post by Tiff on Aug 29, 2011 0:57:10 GMT -5
Reese frowned. "I'm glad we're not pregnant, but while I was sitting in there I was thinking it might not be so bad." She smile and then sighed. "It's better that we aren't though, we have more than enough time to have children." She folded her hands in her lap and turned to look at Jay. "I'll take another one in three weeks just to be absolutely certain, but we can relax." She got up and joined him at the window. "Sorry if I upset you."
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Post by Kelli-wa on Aug 29, 2011 15:11:01 GMT -5
Jaymen nodded as she said that they weren't pregnant. A weight lifted off of his shoulders, but now he was ashamed of himself. All of the horrible things that he'd just been thinking and it wasn't even going to happen. He licked his lips and shook his head lightly, "No, it would be bad, Reese, neither of us are out of school yet. I don't even have a job anymore. Not to mention how disappointed my father would be." He shook his head lightly still looking out the window at the campus down below. He shook his head again with her words, "I am upset, but you didn't do it. I'm just aggravated that I let myself do that. It's beyond irresponsible. I want to have kids, but not now. I'm not even technically in medical school yet. This is all pre-med."
(For the record, i switched him to pre-med, we'll say that she already knew about his change in major.)
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Post by Tiff on Aug 30, 2011 14:17:39 GMT -5
Reese stared out across the campus and frowned as he spoke. She knew it wouldn't be good if they were pregnant and not out of school. But later on things would get better and if they had a child even in these circumstances it would be a blessing regardless. Would he have seen a child as a burden for the entire pregnancy and through it's life? She didn't know and she wouldn't ask, but it burrowed it's way into her mind and would remain there. "I know." She said finally, agreeing with him, though technically she only agreed with part of what he said. "Should we just not do anything anymore?" She asked, she could live with abstaining, but didn't know that he could.
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Post by Kelli-wa on Aug 31, 2011 23:07:07 GMT -5
Jay turned toward her and propped one leg up on the low window sill. He pulled her into him and hugged her around the shoulders, burying his mouth into the crook of her neck. He shrugged lightly not really knowing what he wanted. He was a lot taller than her, so he was kind of bending over in a weird angle, but he didn't care. He honestly didn't want to abstain, but this had kind of freaked him out. It was real now. He released her and then walked over to his not-yet-made bed and laid back on it. "I don't know," he finally answered.
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Post by Tiff on Aug 31, 2011 23:50:03 GMT -5
Reese began to wonder if she should have just kept it all to herself, taken the test while she was at home and only if she was pregnant tell him. It might have been her imagination or low self esteem talking but she felt a shift in her relationship. Maybe he'd break it off and abstain from all girls or get a girl that he wouldn't get carried away with as easily, that way an accident wouldn't happen. However, him putting his face in her neck and holding her screamed differently. "We won't abstain." She finally said. "I think it's pointless and stupid to even say that we would. I told myself a long time ago, before I met you that I'd lose my virginity on my wedding night or perhaps the night after because logically we'd probably be too tired to attempt sexual intercourse after dancing all night in heals." She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth, not quite biting it. "We'll just have to be extra careful." She joined him on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. "I'm old enough now that I could make my own gynocologist appointment and ask to be put on a low hormone birth control." Her mom would freak if she found it, but she'd appreciate the overal issue. "I'm sure I could make one for tomorrow while my mom is at work. I just don't want us to end."
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Post by Kelli-wa on Sept 1, 2011 0:29:14 GMT -5
Jaymen nodded lightly, he didn't think they would either. He guessed that she could, but now that he'd gotten a taste again he wouldn't want to and they would aways be in the middle of an ongoing battle. He didn't want to be that guy that pressures his girlfriend until she sleeps with him. He wasn't into that, and honestly, he couldn't believe that he'd taken her innocence when she'd promised to wait until marriage. He closed his eyes tightly. Who are you, Jaymen? How the hell did you do this? Cool. When she spoke about birth control, he nodded again. He agreed with her there, they did need it. When she said she would make an appointment again, but with her last sentence he let his eyes shoot open and looked over at her. "What? Why would we end? You don't want to break up with me do you?" he questioned, panicking now. He'd taken it the wrong way, but he couldn't be too careful. He didn't want to lose her.
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Post by Tiff on Sept 1, 2011 18:39:25 GMT -5
Reese shook her head. "No. No I wasn't planning on breaking up with you. I..." She sighed and folded her hands in her lap, unsure how to continue. "I just feel like something has changed because of this little incident and that what we had will never be the same because of it." She hated all of it and wanted to just go back in time. "Jaymen I love you and I'm glad we're not pregnant and if we were I'd still love you and I wouldn't hate you, but I don't want this to affect the rest of our relationship." She frowned, she didn't feel like she was getting her point across. "I'd rather not have this come between us and if you'd prefer to focus on your studies and guarantee that another real accident doesn't happen, then that's fine, but I don't think I could come here next year and see your arm around some random girl."
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