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Post by Kelli-wa on Mar 19, 2011 22:01:19 GMT -5
I sighed at his reply, of course he had, but no one had known that, he'd just told them all they were doomed and left. "Shit, Alec! Look, I'm sorry. Charlie would've known what to say here. He would have known what to do, but I don't. I can't be my brother, and I'm sorry for that, but..." I sighed and pulled the necklace out of my shirt, the small locket, once opened carried Charlie's picture. The only picture I'd ever had of him. I took the chain from around my neck and held it in my palm, opening the silver oval and showing it to Alec. "He wouldn't want you to freak out like this. I don't want you to either. I don't know how to make you feel better. I wish I did, but I'm not Charlie." I'd stepped closer to him so that we weren't even a foot away, but he needed to calm down, and I didn't know what else to do to make him see.
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Post by kristay on Mar 19, 2011 22:05:56 GMT -5
I scoffed, I really really did; I scoffed at Raina. "Raina, I'm not asking you to be your brother. I'm not asking you to be my best friend; Charlie was enough of that for me. I know you can't be Charlie, I understand that. And really?" I smiled just a bit and poked her forehead affectionately. "You're more freaking out about it than I am. I'm not even yelling and you're screaming your head off at me." I looked at the locket, smiling softly at the jolly face that looked back at me with shining eyes. I put my hand over Raina's and closed her palm gently. I didn't want to be reminded of what the both of us had lost; it felt too soon.
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Post by Kelli-wa on Mar 19, 2011 22:13:13 GMT -5
I sighed again and shook my head, "Well then what do you want me to do?" I asked, I honestly didn't know. "If I ask a question you run out of the tent, if I tell you something you have to double check me." I wasn't yelling, which was strange for me, but I wasn't mad, I just couldn't understand. "I can't just sit around and wait while you leave me out of the plans and decisions. I know you're a rank higher than I am, but I think I deserve a little bit of something. I know I'm freaking out, but I'm not the one who just told those people that they're doomed." I sighed again and smiled as he closed my hand over the locket. I was trying to figure out what would have made this boy in front of me take me more seriously or what would have made him look at me with more than brotherly love. He couldn't see anything, probably because I always masked it with my yelling. "Alec, you know, I lost my best friend too when he died? I just don't want him to have died for nothing. It won't mean a thing if this plan falls through."
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Post by Tiff on Mar 19, 2011 22:15:03 GMT -5
I got up, feeling eyes on me and without Alec there to act as buffer, I was becoming unnerved. My own words were starting to eat at me, maybe faster than they were eating at the minds and hearts of the people around me, because I was so newly exposed to all of this. I walked through the tent flap and then paused as I watched the exchange between the two. My ears heard what they were saying, but it didn't process because I was having a meltdown on the inside, sure my relationship with Alec wasn't the most important thing in the world at the moment, but to me it was everything, I'd become used to the idea of us being more than just pretend fiances and here he was an intimate distance away from Raina and holding her hands. "Sorry didn't mean to interrupt." I glanced at the ground and my shoes, embarrassed that I thought there was anything true in my life anymore.
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Post by kristay on Mar 19, 2011 22:28:00 GMT -5
I smiled, my grief lacing the gesture as I nodded at her. "I know; I'm going to make sure Charlie didn't die in vain. You'll be free soon Raina, I promise you I'll do everything I can to make sure that you'll get the freedom that your brother fought so hard for you to have." I poked her cheek affectionately and grinned. "You know I'd love to tell you my plans if you weren't so busy yelling at me all the time." I released her and was tempted to pick her up and haul her over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes just to hear her scream and laugh. The place was so serious, so gloomy, I missed how Charlie made everyone smile. "I don't think Matthias would betray us actually... But I feel like Sonia has different plans for the information she has on us; so I'd be careful still. If it is how we fear, then we have plans to change. Remember how we were going to take the board down on the day of the summit? I was thinking we could do it the day before, and not tell Sonia and Matthias... Just to be sure that we still have the element of surprise. But I'm not sure..."
I was surprised to hear Frankie speak and I turned to smile at her. "Oh you didn't interrupt anything." I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her, briefly kissing her cheek. I wondered why she seemed so down; I could tell she was a bit embarrassed but that was probably because I left her inside with everyone else to fend for herself; I hadn't thought of that and I mentally kicked myself for it. "I'm sorry I left you alone in there; are you alright?"
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Post by Kelli-wa on Mar 19, 2011 22:38:13 GMT -5
I smiled lightly as he poked me and shook my head, "I don't yell at you all the time. Just when you say things that I don't think are right. Or you bring people that you don't know to a meeting. That was kind of a dumb idea…" I listened as he explained what he was thinking about the situation. I nodded, it made sense to me. Sonia always seemed a little hesitant when coming to talk to the elders, and not so careful when she spoke of the plans we had. I knew Matthias would be with us, he had family on the other side. I nodded as he spoke about an element of surprise. "But if we do it early, will everyone that Matthias and Sonia have gathered, if anyone, know about it? Will we be able to do it without their help?"
Then he was smiling, but not at me. Oh, you didn't interrupt anything, I heard him say. He stepped away from me and looked over as he wrapped his arms around Frankie. I licked my lips and looked back to the tree and then down at the locket that was still in my hand, open. Letting out a sigh I looked at Charlie, "Why doesn't he ever see me?" I whispered to my dead brother. I couldn't understand, and all my mind could say was that it was because she was rich. She didn't have to start out that way, it was because she looked and acted it now. I was just a ragged, dirty poor girl. That must be why. It had to be.
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Post by Tiff on Mar 19, 2011 23:08:21 GMT -5
Of course the one statement I would hear come out of their mouths would be the one Raina made about bringing people he or they didn't know to their secret meetings. I couldn't fight his embrace or the kiss and honestly I didn't want to, that seemed to be the only familiar thing to me now and yet watching the two of them together had taken that away from me too, a little. I glanced up at him and shook my head, no. I wasn't alright, I lost everything I knew was right, learned that I'd already lost my real identity and family and now when I thought he would be the one real thing in my life he'd shown me I wasn't meant to have anything. "I'm fine." My head was shaking the opposite, but those were the words flowing forth from my mouth, I changed the direction of my head shake and burrowed my head in his chest. I might never get to grasp onto something and hold it for my own again, but I was going to try. "Should we go back in?" This wasn't something I truly wanted to do, I wanted to go back to his house, crawl into that warm, clean bed, and forget everything else.
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Post by kristay on Mar 19, 2011 23:38:32 GMT -5
I snorted and gave Raina a look full of disbelief. "Yeah... Your version of 'not all the time' is all the time since you always have something to say because you always think the things I do are wrong. Hence all the yelling." I raised a brow, challenging her to say otherwise; it was the truth and she knew it. "Hey, it brought one more person to our side and it reunited Maggie and Joe with their daughter; I don't think it was pretty dumb of me actually." I smiled a bit sadly, biting my bottom lip for the briefest of moments as I shrugged at her question. "I honestly don't know about that Raina." I shook my head and for a split second, allowed myself to show the pure exhaustion that seemed to weigh me down everyday; I just never allowed people to see it. "I really don't know."
I lightly grazed her cheek with the pad of my thumb. "You're shaking your head at me, 'no' but you're telling me you're fine. What's the deal Frankie? You know you can tell me anything right? I'm always going to be here for you." I smiled lightly at her, "Give me a while to try something." I turned so that I was beside her, my arm slipping around her waist as I guided her to stubborn Rana. "The both of you used to be friends; come on you two. Play nice; I'm tired of being the bridge for the both of you."
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Post by Tiff on Mar 20, 2011 21:42:34 GMT -5
I hated myself for being so weak and not knowing what was up and what was down. "I don't know what to do with myself." I glanced in Raina's direction and then back at Alec, maybe there wasn't anything going on between them, but I couldn't exactly ask either of them, I'd been lied to about my family for two years and my entire life, who was to say these two were any different from anyone else? I stared at Raina, unsure what to say to her now that I was standing in front of her with no way of running.
Sorry.
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Post by Kelli-wa on Mar 21, 2011 0:32:55 GMT -5
I just nodded at him, knowing he was right, but I didn't really want to talk much about anything while she was standing right beside him. Alec was supposed to fall in love with me, that's how it was supposed to happen. She wasn't supposed to come back and steal him away. Maybe it was my fault, but at that moment, I couldn't blame anyone but that girl in his arms. I took in a huge breath and shrugged again. Of course we couldn't do it without help, but I didn't know what to say. I know, clamming up was probably not the best thing to do on my part, but if I spoke, I would have started crying and that was one thing I was not going to do in front of Alec, or especially Frankie.
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Post by kristay on Mar 21, 2011 9:54:17 GMT -5
I took Frankie's hand in mine and gave it a big squeeze. "I'm here for you Frankie... Don't worry." If we went home later, I hoped she'd tell me what was bothering her because I wanted to help her; I really did. I worried when she worried, I felt concerned when she was sad or angry or confused and I wanted her to be happy, I wanted to see her smile.
I laughed a bit nervously at the both of them, staring pointedly at Raina, hoping she'd make the first move. "Come on you guys; there are enemies all around us and you can't even make friends with your comrades; what is wrong with the world..." I released Frankie so I could hold her hand in one hand and Raina's hand in my free one. I lowered my voice, not sure where any of this was coming from. "You two are the only people I have now..."
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Post by Tiff on Mar 21, 2011 10:11:00 GMT -5
His words melted my fears that he'd lie to me or do wrong by me temporarily and my first instinct was to wrap my arms around his waist and never let go. I wanted to confess that I was feeling insecure and a lot in the dark, but his next words set me back in my place. I didn't feel like a comrade yet, I still felt like an outsider to everything and everyone, Maggie and Joe, Victoria and Carter, Alec, Raina, the resistance, and most of all an outsider in my own body. Something inside of me pinged as he took Raina's hand again and I felt another ping, one of jealousy run through me. "You're all I have too." I said, looking him in the eyes and then looking in Raina's direction, but not in her eyes.
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