Don't ever look back

[Dani]

"Yes, very interesting, indeed..." Taylor laughed nervously as he described what sociology meant. Surely, a college course couldn't teach him everything about people's actions. He was already pretty good at reading her mind as it was, could this class make him even better at it? Having him find out the truth about her was scary enough, but having him figure it out this way would be ten times worse. She sighed, praying that he wouldn't use her as a homework assignment. "So..." she said, feeling the need for another subject change. "What else is new with you?"

[kristay]

Cameron chuckled. “Most of the classes are pretty boring actually but its fun to apply the things I’ve learned in class to real life. It really is very interesting. I’m sure the way I’m describing it to you must make it sound like a snooze but I like it enough.” He shrugged at her question and smiled. “Nothing much really; I met this girl out by the lake. She was really funny.” He chuckled as he remembered Chelsea from New York. “She acted a bit like a brat; she was from New York and she didn’t even know how to run. It was ridiculous.”

[Dani]

Taylor immediately shook her head. "It doesn't sound too boring at all." She wasn't bored at all; pretty much everything he had to say was interesting to her. He could have read the phone book out loud and she'd still be slightly amused. Her curiosity peaked when he'd mentioned meeting a girl. "Oh really?" she asked, trying not to sound jealous. She really had no right to be; after all, she was the one pushing him away. Plus, he'd only said that he'd met the girl, not dated. Still, despite all of that, she couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. "That does sound ridiculous...."

[kristay]

Cameron shrugged and laughed. "My cousins think it's pretty boring since some of them have Sociology classes." He nodded. "Yeah. Her name's Chelsea Urban... She was kinda funny. I think what amused me the most was that she's the same age as me but was whining like she was a child. She's cute though." He quirked a brow at her, amused at her sudden defensive behavior. "Jealous?" She probably wasn't, Taylor wasn't even interested in him that way... Still it had been nice for another girl to pay attention to him. He wasn't sure though but all he really wanted was Taylor but he was still scared.

[Dani]

Taylor nearly burst out laughing at the name at Cameron's new friend. "Chelsea Urban?" she asked, an amused smirk crossing her face. "As opposed to Chelsea Rural? Although I guess she'd be from Kansas if she were named that, wouldn't she?" Despite her jealousy growing at the mention of Chelsea being cute, she shook her head right away when he called her out on it. "Of course I'm not jealous. Why would I be jealous? I mean, you can hang out with whomever you want. Plus, you and me...." She trailed off and glanced down at the sand, unsure of how to finish the sentence. She knew that he just wanted to fool around with her, that there was no "you and me" as far as they were concerned. Admitting to him how she really felt would only lead to humiliation.

[kristay]

Cameron chuckled in amusement. "Is this the catty side of Taylor I have never had the pleasure of seeing before?" He shook his head in amusement, a bit disappointed that Taylor claimed not to be jealous. She did seem a bit catty about someone she hadn't even met but maybe that was just her and not really about Cameron anyway... He mentally shrugged it off. "She said she was interested in me..." He shrugged a shoulder and smiled when he remembered how she had tried to chase after him. Not very effective when she couldn't run for shit. "I told her I couldn't though..."

[Dani]

Taylor looked up and nodded her head. "Yup," she said, continuing to walk down the beach. "Is that a problem?" She'd always been catty; at least for most of her adolescence. She was surprised he'd never noticed her insulting her sisters, rolling her eyes, and making witty comments about everyone else. Lately, however, there were several occasions where she'd found herself being nice, such as his birthday party. "You couldn't? Why?" she said, her mouth dropping open as she stopped dead in her tracks. It made no sense whatsoever to her. Cameron was not the type of person to turn down a girl, especially one that he thought was cute. "I'm sorry, I guess its none of my business."

[kristay]

Cameron shrugged apathetically. "Not a problem to me but maybe other people won't appreciate the catty Taylor a lot more." He waggled his eyebrows at her. "I think catty Taylor's pretty amusing though." He continued to walk, only stopping when he realized that Taylor wasn't beside him anymore. A frown found its way to his mouth as he turned so he could face her. "Well I thought it'd be pretty obvious." He smiled at her and shrugged as if helpless to do anything about it. "I like someone else."

[Dani]

Remaining completely still, Taylor stared at him in confusion. "Really?" She didn't understand how that would be a problem. He liked a lot of girls. He didn't seem to have a problem with casually flirting with her while he liked this other girl. In her mind, there was no reason why he couldn't keep dating Chelsea and the mysterious other girl. Unless..... "Do you only want to date the other girl?" she asked, nearly gasping as the words came out her mouth. She wondered who this girl was, the girl that had somehow managed to get him all to herself. Whoever she was, Taylor already hated her.

[kristay]

Cameron laughed. "Don't make fun of me Taylor; it's new to me but I want to try seeing someone exclusively." He shook his head at the thought; it had been something he had never expected to say in his life but he had. He crossed his arms over his expansive chest. "I want to try but I don't think she likes me that way. She's not really fond of intimate relationships. I kinda think she likes light and easy relationships a lot better because there's no mess, you know? I can kinda understand why she feels so hesitant... I felt that way too." He smiled again. "And I think she's avoiding me for some reason... I don't know why." Cameron offered her his hand so they could keep walking.

[Dani]

Taylor took his hand and kept walking, her pace a little wobbly due to the shock of his words. His mysterious girl sounded a lot like her! Immediately, she began to replay the past year in her head, trying to remember the way he had acted around her. Was he pursuing her all that time because he wanted a real relationship? Perhaps now was the time to tell him the truth. "Maybe she's scared," she said, leaving her name out. For all she knew, he could been talking about a different girl. "She could be pushing you away because she's scared. She probably wants the same thing that you want, but she doesn't know that you want it too."

[kristay]

Cameron shrugged absently and smiled. "Yeah maybe... I just didn't think she was that type of girl you know? To be afraid... But I guess we're all afraid of something right?" He shook his head and grinned at her. "I'm the guy and I should be the one to take the lead, to ask her about all of this but...", He chuckled again, "I guess I'm just as afraid as she is." He ran a hand through his hair and met her eyes. "Do you wanna head out now?"

[Dani]

Taylor nodded, her heart still beating fast. "Everybody's afraid of something. I'm afraid of all kinds of things." Like telling you the truth about how I feel..... Her face fell as he admitted that he was afraid too. "What do you have to be afraid of?" she accidentally thought out loud. Realizing that her thoughts had been vocalized, she quickly did damage control. "I mean, you're a great guy. I'm sure she'd be very happy to know....." Flustered, she shook his hand and plastered a fake smile on her face. "I guess we should go now." She kept her smile in tact, trying to hide her sadness about their evening coming to an end. "Good night, Cameron."

[kristay]

Cameron chuckled and shrugged. "There are a lot of things to be afraid of I guess. What if I do tell her and we're able to have a relationship... But what if... I hurt her? What if I'm not good enough? What if... What if I whore around like my dad did? I don't want these things to happen Taylor, but what if? Just what if?" He shook his head a bit sadly, instead of shaking her hand he took it with both of his large ones and pressed a light kiss on the inside of her palm. "Night Taylor." He turned around and walked away, knowing that if he turned to look at her, he'd break and tell her just how much she meant to him. And that had never been a part of the plan.

[Dani]

Taylor stood in stunned silence as he walked away, replaying his words over and over again in her head. Everything that he said sounded as though it came right from her own mind, right down to "whore around like my dad did". That comment really blew her away. Perhaps, they had more in common than she realized. Her father was practically the epitome of a whore; in fact, Madison had often accused her several times of following in his footsteps.

She wanted to tell him everything. She wanted to tell him about her father and about her parents' sham of a marriage. She wanted to tell him about her ex-boyfriend and how he'd publicly humiliated her. She even wanted to tell him about the truth about her natural hair color. And more importantly, she wanted to tell him that he was good enough and that she was just as scared as he was, but that she still wanted to be with him. Sadly, all of these things would have to remain hidden. For all she knew, he could have been talking about someone else, not her. Glancing down at the hand that he'd kissed gently a few moments ago, she headed down the beach in the direction of her godmother's house, wiping a stray tear away with her other hand.