Redeim's Stories

[Redeim]

This is just a thread to the stories I've made/will make. I thought I'd keep it all in one thread to keep it from getting cluttered.
In the thread, I'll include the child's name, a link to what family they're from, and also around what time I made the story (or exact date if I have one).
I'm not sure if I want comments, but if you catch me in the cbox after reading one of the stories and want to say how awesome it is your opinions on it, feel free. :)

[Redeim]

A Day in the Life

Written around 2009

(From GenShi’s PoV, written as if it was an assignment from a teacher. She’s twelve in this story, and in seventh grade. Find her profile here)

[11:50 pm]

So as an assignment for my English class, we have to give a presentation on what we do everyday, and we get to make a slide show or collage to show the class. I just finished my homework for the night, and it’s getting close to midnight. I really should get to bed.

[5:30 am]

When I wake up the next morning, it’s 4:30 am, and my mom has breakfast waiting for me. I make sure to get everything packed: my homework for school, an extra pair of clothes, and my Tae Kwon Do Gi (that’s what the outfit is called), and then change into a pair of leggings and a long shirt. I was about to go out the door, but then I realize I forgot to grab my camera and the notebook to write about my day.

[6:30 am]

People are starting to come in. I’ve been practicing my forms since mom dropped me off at 6. I’m working to become a brown belt, and I’m only one stripe away. Class starts at 7, but I need to get back to warming up.

[8:00 am]

Class has ended and I’m waiting for the 8:00 bus so I can get to school. Luckily, school is only about twenty minutes away and classes start at 8:30, so I always have just enough time to get my books and go to class.

[10:30 am]

My first period is social studies, and I like the class. The teacher is really funny, and he makes the class exciting. Right now, we’re learning about Colonial America. After social studies, I have math. Mom says I take after her when it comes to math, as it’s my toughest subject. I did, however, make it into Pre-Algebra this year. When mom had heard that, she was really proud of me. Now, it is break time, and I usually don’t meet up with my friends until lunch time. Oh, the bell rang, I have to go now.

[12:30 pm]

I won’t write much now because it is lunch time and I want to eat, (we only get thirty minutes for lunch, it really sucks!) so this entry won’t be really long. So in between break and lunch, we have two hour long classes. For me, it’s science and an elective, to which I chose band. I’m actually not big on playing an instrument, so to be honest, I take it half-heartedly. But I LOVE our band teacher, she’s so nice! Also, it helps me to hear the beat of music better for when I’m at dance practice. Okay, I’m going to eat now.

[2:15 pm]

So now I’m in English class. Our teacher is giving us time to write in our journals, but I think it’s mainly for the people who haven’t done anything yet, since the written part is due tomorrow, and the picture part is due on Thursday (It is Monday now). Our English teacher is really cool too; especially when we have an in-class writing assignment; we can listen to music as long as we don’t distract the people around us… I paused to put on my head phones, my friend tried to steal them… ha ha… I got my friend into liking Asian music, which my mom may as well have introduced to me while I was still in the womb. We both really like the Korean boy band Dong Bang Shin Ki.

[3:00 pm]

So, school is over now, and I’m on my way to dance practice. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I have hip hop and break dancing practice from 4-5pm. On Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays I have ballet practice from 4-5pm. When I got into middle school, my mom and I agreed I was old enough to take the bus to my practices, since they weren’t too far from school. Since it’s dark by the time I get out though, mom picks me up. Maybe by the time I’m in high school, she’ll let me come home on my own too.

[3:30 pm]

I love this little taqueria by the dance studio. Both practices are held in the same place, so everyday I use a little bit of my allowance to get a burrito before practice. I go there so often, I’ve learned how to say “May I please have a burrito with no sour cream and extra beef?” in Spanish. ha ha~

[5:15 pm]

So now I’m finally heading back home. Up until last summer, on Monday and Wednesday nights from 7-8, I would have Korean language classes; and then on Tuesday and Thursday night I would have Chinese language classes from 7:30-8:45. I miss my teachers, but I feel comfortably fluent in both languages. I’ve only been taking classes for eight years!

[6:00 pm]

So I’m finally back at home, and I still have to work on my homework. I plan to make a slide show of all the pictures I took, so I don’t have to worry about printing the pictures. I’m not hungry for dinner, but I ask mom to bring me a snack later on. I glance out my window and see Miyavi and Khristian playing soccer in the back yard… They like to switch off since Khristian prefers basketball and Myv likes soccer. I watched them play for a little while before I returned to writing this.

[10:00 pm]

So thankfully, I finished my homework before my “bed time,” (I prefer curfew, bed time sounds like something you’d say to one of the younger kids, but mom keeps calling it bed time.) So… As you can see, I lead a busy life, but I wouldn’t switch it for the world. I guess this assignment is over now, huh?

[Redeim]

Breaking Up

Written around 2009

(In the PoV of HeuSeoh. Who is now with a smarter girl. Find his profile here)

“Wait, wait, Rae… I don’t even get why you’re mad at me.” I asked my girlfriend of six months, rubbing my temples. In front of me was Rachel, sobbing and hitting my arm and I’m standing here pretending her punches don’t really hurt.
“This is the fourth times since we started dating I’ve dyed my hair, and you -still- haven’t said anything about it!” She sobbed.
Wait, what? “When did you dye your hair…four times? My god, your hair will fall out, baby.” I teased, and then grimaced as she cried harder.
“How can you not notice? It went from brown to red to light brown to blond! It’s obvious!” She sobbed.
Ah, misunderstanding… Didn’t I tell her this when we were only friends? “Okay… Baby, calm down.” I pause until her crying stops, and she’s sniffling and waiting for me to continue. “Do you remember I told you I’m colorblind?” I remind her gently. I continue, “If you do minor changes to your hair like you did, I won’t notice it right away, if at all.”
She looked at me blankly, and I resisted the urge to slam my head against my desk. I point to myself. “I am colorblind.” She nods and I continue, “It means I can not see colors. Most people have red-blue or red-green colorblindness. Are you following me still?”
She nods slowly.
“I have Monochromacy, it means I see no colors but grey, black, and white.” She nods again. I grab some markers and glance at their colors real quick, “red and brown look a lot alike, don’t they?” She nods and wipes her eyes. “So I won’t notice that change.
“What if I went from brown to blond?” She asks me.
“I might’ve noticed that.” I reply to her with my own nod. I smiled at her, “are you still mad at me?”
She looked at my blanket for a while before replying, “No… I guess not.”
“Good.” I reply.
I’m about to say something else when she looks at her phone and jumps up, exclaiming she was late for dinner and promised her mom she wouldn’t miss another one.
I walk to the front yard and GenShi is just coming home. I say bye to Rachel and grimace at GenShi.
GenShi laughs as she sees my face, “What?”
“That’s the last time I get a girlfriend by tutoring a girl who’s in all remedial classes…”
GenShi just laughs again.

[Redeim]

Learning

Written around late 2009/early 2010

(When Miyavi first got here, he spoke little English. He’s from Japan. While I’ll write in English, most of the speech is in Japanese, symbolized by the italics. Find his profile here)

I can’t believe how far I’ve come… I notice it all the time recently. Right now, I am with BaoChen, playing two-on-two basketball with him, HeuSeoh, and GenShi. “BaoChen! I’m open!” I tell him. I get the ball and toss it into the net, putting us into the lead, and also the winning spot.
“Nice shot Myv!” BaoChen tells me, giving me a high five.
I smile and return the five, “Thank you,” I turn to GenShi and HeuSeoh, “You played well.”
We go back inside and I sit down next to the twins on the couch. GenShi approaches me, and suddenly I get a test.
“Say light.” She demands suddenly.
I look at her curiously for a moment before I reply, “light. Why?”
“You’re English has improved again.” She told me with a smile, and I couldn’t help but smile back.

It was when I was in the airport I realized I was never going to see my real family again. I was born from a Japan-born Korean father and Japanese mother, and my grandparents hated me because of it. I had just finished third grade in Japan, and I’m 7.
When my mother and father first told me they couldn’t keep me anymore, I didn’t understand why except Grandma and Grandpa kept telling them “Miyavi cannot stay.” Before going through the gate, my mother told me, “You have a new family. They are American. They will love you very much. I love you." I felt butterflies stir in my stomach as I gave my mother a hug. My father could not come because he had to work; but I had said bye to him that morning.
I turned away before either of us began crying, “Goodbye, Mother." I told my mother tearfully, then turned and went towards the guard at the security gate.
I barely heard my mother whisper, “Good bye, my beloved son."
I walked onto plane, but I can barely recall the trip. I remember I was seated next to an old man, and I listened to my CD player the whole trip there. I may have slept a little, but each time I drifted off, I had nightmares of what my new life might be like. I had so many questions: Will my new family change my name? Will they expect me to know English? After a few recurring English dreams, I shot my eyes open and pulled out my English workbook from school. I couldn’t practice speaking right now, but at least I could learn some important phrases, mouthing them silently to get a feel for saying them.
Before I knew it, the plane landed and I took my first steps onto American land. It was a strange place, and even finding my suit case was hard, as a lot of the kanji on the signs were ones no third grader would know. I followed people until I found the baggage claim, and then went through customs. I get out and noticed a friendly looking lady and a young girl who was maybe about fifteen. They had a sign with my name in katakana written on it. When they saw me looking at the sign, they smiled.
The older lady spoke, "Are you Miyavi-kun?" She asked in Japanese
I smiled wide, "Yes!" I replied. I felt relief instantly wash over me, she spoke Japanese!
The lady smiled, "I am Bethany Kita. This is GenShi." She pointed to the young girl beside her, “She is your new older sister."
“What? But you don’t look Japanese…" I asked her, surprised.
“That is so… But, my step-father is Japanese." She told me with a smile.
I was surprised at how well she spoke the language. “Ah… Is that so…"
“Mom, he’s probably tired, let’s get home.” GenShi told her, no *our* mother, tugging gently on her sleeve.
“Ah, that’s right. Miyavi-kun, Are you tired?"
I simply nodded.
GenShi offered to take my bags to the car, and I smiled and muttered a shaky “sankyew,” [thank you] to which she smiled back.
I think I could be comfortable here.

[Redeim]

Forgive Me

Written 5/18/2011

(Find Thongchai's profile here. Note: Beverly is not actually my kid. Find her profile here)

[[Set in the year 2017]]

Beverly felt numb as she sat down in front row of the church, staring at the coffin. She knew this day would come one day, but it seemed too soon. Suddenly, she wished she had visited her husband more often while he was in the hospital, even though she had already been there every day. She should’ve taken a sick leave. Or maternity leave, something so she could have spent more time with him. She clutched tightly onto their daughter, born two years ago. Even though Thongchai didn’t want to risk giving anyone the life he had, a chance encounter blessed them with a beautiful baby girl, Sua. He didn’t want to give it to his child. To Beverly. God, the last he wanted to worry about giving his disease to Beverly. He was elated when he found out neither of them got it.

They were going to celebrate twenty years as a couple next month. They were going to celebrate their daughter’s third birthday next month. After almost five years in Thailand, they were going to show their baby girl what their hometown was like. Now they were in America for a completely different reason. It would have been perfect as both an anniversary gift and birthday present. Now, Beverly had to explain to her daughter why daddy wasn’t going to be here anymore.

As Thongchai’s family filed in, they gave her the typical hugs. She went through the motions, trying to happily introduce the Kitas to their neice and grand daughter. But no happiness could come out.

When Eric showed up, Beverly rushed to him, burying her face into her twin’s chest as she cried for what seemed like the millionth time since she woke up this morning. After all, to have a funeral meant it was final. She would never be able to see Thongchai again.

“Hey...” Eric muttered, gently pulling her off him. He looked just as sad, feeling Beverly’s pain, but not knowing how to express his emotions as well. He looked into her eyes, sympathy and sadness seeming to overwhelm him. After all, he was Thongchai’s friend for just as long, even though he didn’t learn about Thongchai’s HIV until later.

Beverly sat back down next to her brother, asking him to sit up front with her. She gave Ms. Kita a weak smile while her mother-in-law wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

“How can you be so strong?” Beverly asked her.

Bethany smiled weakly, “I know he’d want us to be happy. I knew this would happen one day. I adopted him knowing it wold happen one day.” She looked up at the coffin, her smile softening, “I was hoping you would have gotten more time with him though.”

Beverly’s eyes were directed to another figure that sat across the way. It was Kasem, looking lost, hurt, confused. His big brother, the one that had been there for him for so long. The one who let him stay in his and Beverly’s apartment in Thailand while he finished college and got a job. Beverly excused herself and got up, standing in front of Kasem.

Kasem looked up, instantly standing up and hugging Beverly. “Cé (older sister)...” He cried, burying his face in Beverly’s shoulder just as she had done to her brother moments ago.

“Kasem...” Beverly replied, “We should... Thongchai would want us to be happy.” She said, agreeing with what Ms. Kita had told her.

“It’s hard...” Kasem sniffled.

“I know.”

“Momma..?” Beverly’s daughter said softly, looking like she was about to cry without understanding why she felt that way. Beverly felt her heart break, knowing her daughter picked it up when she’d hear Thongchai talk to his own mother.

Beverly picked her up. “Baby girl...” She sniffed. She brought her up to the coffin, putting a hand on it.

“Where’s daddy? This importen, right?” She asked Beverly.

Beverly gave her daughter a soft smile, “Daddy is gone.” She explained.

“Will he come back?” She asked, tilting her head to the side.

Beverly shook her head. “No sweety. He can’t come back. But he will always watch over us and protect us.”

“Always?”

“Always.”

-------------------------------------------------
So If you're feelin' lonely.. don't
You're the only one I'd ever want
I only wanna make it good
So if I love ya a little more than I should
Please forgive me I know not what I do
Please forgive me I can't stop lovin' you
Don't deny me
This pain I'm going through
Please forgive me
If I need ya like I do
Please believe me
Every word I say is true
Please forgive me I can't stop loving you

[Redeim]

Father's Day

(Find the Family's Profiles here)

Written 06/17/2011

[[Set in 2008]]

Thongchai looked from Aeron to Miyavi curiously. “Did something happen? Why is the mood so bad?” He asked his siblings, talking about GenShi, HeuSeoh and the twins.
“It’s that time of the year again…” Miyavi replied.
Thongchai tilted his head, and Kasem mimicked his older brother. “That time of the year?” Thongchai asked.
Aeron rolled his eyes and scoffed, “My god, Thongchai, how did you ever keep a girl so long? You have no ability to remember dates…”
Thongchai furrowed his eyebrows, looking at Aeron defensively. “What do you mean?!” He asked, looking to Miyavi for clarification.
“Father’s Day is tomorrow.” Miyavi explained.
Thongchai made a face, his mouth in a perfect “oh” shape, while Kasem still listened, confused.
“Father’s Day is like Parent’s Day in Asia.” Miyavi continued for Kasem to understand. “Only you celebrate your father, not both your parents.”
“When do you celebray mommies?” Kasem asked his older brother.
“Sometime in May.” Miyavi replied.
“You can’t remember dates, and your little brat just can’t remember. Oh, priceless.” Aeron retorted.
“Shut up, Aer!” Miyavi growled.
“Why Father Day bad?” Kasem asked his older brothers.
Before either of the older boys could respond, BaiChen joined them, an obviously forced smile on her face. She picked up Kasem from his seat, sitting down and then putting him on her lap. “It’s not bad, Kasem… It just makes us a little sad.” She explained to her youngest brother.
“Why?” Kasem asked, turning to look at her.
The other three boys remained in a solemn silence.
“Well… When BaoChen and I were little, our dad died in a car accident. Our daddy was the last man mom ever loved.” She explained. “After he died, mom became so focused on taking care of us, she never remarried. It’s why she takes care of us alone.”
Kasem shook his head, “She doesn’. GenShi and HeuSeoh and Junsu all help…” He said confidently.
BaiChen laughed, “Of course, but that’s different. Like… you and me versus Beverly and Thongchai. Chai loves you, but he also loves Beverly, in a different way.”
Thongchai blushed slightly, “Do you have to bring me into this?”
“So why sad?” Kasem asked, still not understanding completely.
“Because we can’t see him anymore. We miss our dad.”
“He GenShi and HeuSeoh’s daddy too?” Kasem asked.
BaiChen shook her head, “No, that’s a whole different story.”
“Are they sad because they can’t see their daddy?” Kasem asked, tilting his head to the side.
“Okay… You know how when you lived in Thailand, you had a mom and dad?” BaiChen asked him.
Kasem nodded.
“And now you have our mommy. They aren’t the same person, but you still call our mom, your mom.”
Kasem nodded, seeming a little more confused than before.
“It’s kind of like that. GenShi and HeuSeoh dads left when they were young. So until mom married mine and Bao’s dad, they had no dad. They became very close to our dad. Like mom is to you, he became their father.”
“So, he not real daddy, just fake daddy?” Kasem asked, trying to understand.
“Kind of… It’s called a step-dad.” BaiChen explained.
“Ohh…” Kasem replied simply. After a few moments of silence, he looked back up at BaiChen, “Was he nice?”
BaiChen smiled widely, “I hear he was the nicest.”
“He never gone, really.”
“What do you mean, Kasem?” Thongchai asked.
Miyavi and Aeron looked up at Kasem, curious as well.
“He like our mommy and daddy, P’Chai. He live in their memory, so he always live.” Kasem explained.
“You’re smarter than you look, kid.” Aeron muttered, a hand being used to rest his chin.
“That was very philosophical of you…” BaiChen also complimented.
“Honestly, I don’t remember mom and dad well…” Thongchai muttered under his breath, a frown on his face.
GenShi summoned BaiChen over, and then whispered something into her ear. BaiChen’s eyes lit up, and she turned her attention back to the boys sitting at the kitchen table. “Do you guys want to know what he was like?” She offered.
Thongchai and Kasem nodded, while Miyavi looked on, interested.
HeuSeoh brought down a box from the hall closet, it full of video tapes with labels such as “GenShi’s first birthday” and “The Twin’s birth.” He dug through the box a little and pulled out some videos from around 1994-1995. He put one of the tapes in the slot, and then hid his face as the first video was him, in the bathtub.
The rest of the family had a good laugh, learning for some and remembering for others the last man their mother would ever love. Only a couple minutes passed before they were joined by their mother, who had a tub of ice cream and a spoon. She looked slightly grief stricken, but this was probably the first time her biological kids had seen her happily watching old home videos. GenShi, HeuSeoh, and the twins couldn’t help but smile at each other. This was going to have to be a new tradition in the family…

[Redeim]

Abandoned

Written 7/20/2011

(Kan is the third oldest in the Amato Family. He’s currently eighteen years old. The story takes place in Busan, South Korea exactly one year ago (7/20/2010), the day his mother committed suicide. Note: When you see italics, it is Korean.
You can see Kan's profile here)

“Hey, Kan!” Called a young man about sixteen, his hair black and his body long.
The man in question, however, did not hear his friend over his head phones.
The other boy caught up to his best friend, tapping him on the shoulder. “Hey, stop listening to music.”
“Why?” Kan asked his friend, pulling his head phones off.

“Because then you might actually hear when a friend calls you.” His friend breathed. “You have long ass legs, man. I can’t keep up with you.”

“Well, what do you want?” Kan asked his friend, seeming impatient.

“Are you heading home?” His friend asked.

Kan gave his friend a look as if saying are you kidding me? before replying, “You know I go to cram school.”

“Wouldn’t you rather... you know? Go have fun or something?”

“MinSeok ah, we’re high school students in Korea. Or did you forget that?” Kan asked his friend.

MinSeok sighed, “No, I didn’t forget.”

Kan picked up his pace, “I need to stop by home first, I don’t have much time.” He told his friend, bidding him goodbye.

Once Kan arrived at his and his mother’s apartment, he noticed all the lights were off. “mom?” He called, taking his shoes off in the foyer and going into the living room. The shades were drawn and with the lights off, it seemed like it was night time already. He flipped the light switch on, and then fell to the ground, his eyes wide. Right in front of him in the middle of the room, his mother was hanging from rope tied around a hook for the light. His mother was dead. He crawled to the nearest wall, tears in his eyes. “m.. m... mom?” He stuttered, in disbelief and shock. Why would his mother do this to him?

He used the wall to stand again, not able to take his eyes off the body hanging in the middle of his living room. On shaky legs, he stumbled and ran to the door next to theirs, knocking on it. He was lost, confused, and unsure of what to do. “Ms. Kim! Ms. Kim!” He called, banging on the door.

An old lady opened the door. She was a small, homely person, and had lost her husband over five years ago in a car accident. She had known Kan since he was young, and she was the closest thing Kan had to a grandmother after both his grandmothers passed away when he was just a young boy. “What, Kan?” She asked the boy.

Kan ran into the comfort of her arms. “m-m-my mother.” He stuttered to her. “She’s de-...” He began, not able to finish as he began sobbing, again losing his footing as he fell to his knees. Ms. Kim patted his head, eyebrows furrowed.

After Kan had calmed down a little, she shuffled over to the apartment next door, where Kan and his mother lived. Her eyes widened as she saw what Kan was talking about. Although she felt saddened for the woman she had grown to love as if she were her own child, she was more upset for the boy who looked completely lost, now on his own in the world at only sixteen years old. She shut the door to the apartment and shuffled back over to Kan, inviting him in. She held his hand as he got to his feet, half his face covered as if he was ashamed to be crying about this. After Kan had sat down on the couch, she grabbed her phone and went into the kitchen, filling up her tea kettle and putting it over flame before calling the police and explaining to them what happened. She kept glancing to the boy in the living room.

Kan felt like everything he knew wasn’t the same. He had been to Ms. Kim’s apartment countless times over his life, but suddenly everything didn’t seem the same. Did the television always reflect the window like that? When Ms. Kim came in with a tea and some small crackers, he felt like he couldn’t stomach any food at all. Just the sight of it made him queasy. He brought his feet onto the couch, curling into a ball, completely silent as he stared straight ahead.

Ms. Kim didn’t know what to do. She had seen this behavior in herself after she had found out her husband died. She extended a hand to the young man, resting it on his shoulder. “You can stay here for as long as you like.” She told him sincerely.

It had been four days since his mother committed suicide, and Kan had barely moved. He knew he’d have to go back into the apartment at some point, but he had been putting off, as if his mother might still be there. In his mind, he couldn’t get the image to leave. Whether he kept his eyes as wide open as possible or had them shut tightly, it wouldn’t leave.

While Ms. Kim was out getting groceries, he mustered the courage to get some extra clothes from his apartment. He couldn’t feel his legs as he walked the few steps to the next apartment. He felt as if he was watching himself go through these motions. He unlocked the the door and hesitated before opening it. His shoes had been untouched, the police had decided there was no case, and there was evidence it was suicide. He dragged his feet along, feeling weak and sick as he tried his best not to look at rest of the living room except where he had to go in the hallway. His mind put the body exactly where it was when he first saw it, just as clearly as when he first saw it. He managed to get into his bedroom, and suddenly nothing looked the same. The posters of girl groups pinned to the wall, a small collection of pictures of him and his friends at a visit to Lotte World, a popular theme park in Seoul, that was taken back over summer break. His laptop lay on his desk, collecting dust.

It’s not right. A voice told him. Feeling a surge of anger, he ripped the posters off the wall, destroyed the papers on his desk, tossing everything he could, until finally collapsing on the bed, sobbing openly. He had always cared about the material things, but now he would give anything to just get his mother back. He was always so worried about his schooling, where he’d end up going to college, everything. He never spent enough time with his mother. His room was now in ruins, but he never wanted to return.

Only a few minutes passed before he sat up, collecting only his electronics and his clothes, as well as pictures of his family and friends, before bringing it to the couch in Ms. Kim’s house, piling his possessions there before going down to the apartment lobby and handing the manager the key to what was once his and his mother’s apartment.

“Sorry to hear about your mother.” The manager told him.

Kan just gave him a weak upturn of the lips, not even able to smile at the kind gesture of the manager. “I’m turning in my key.” He rasped to the old man. “There’s no way I’ll be able to pay for the apartment on my own, but you can take out the security deposit to pay for anything.” He told him, before walking away, leaving the manager confused.

_______________(alternative ending)__________________

It only took a few more weeks after that incident before Kan was officially placed into child service’s care, but with some fighting, Ms. Kim convinced the government to let Kan stay with her until he was adopted into a new family. She would have done it herself, but she knew she was too old to care for Kan properly. As the weeks passed by, Kan returned to his life as a student, until he was informed by CPS that a family in America was interested in adopting him. Though he tried to stay open minded about it, he was horrified about having to leave his home country, and having to leave Ms. Kim. He quit school for the remainder of the time he was in Korea, avoiding his friends and spending as much time making memories with Ms. Kim. He didn’t want to make the same mistake again, especially after finding out only two weeks before he had to leave that Ms. Kim had stomach cancer. A week after he left for the United States, he found out she had passed away. Although he wants to return to Korea, he’s afraid it would be so stiflingly lonesome he’d hate his own home country.

[Redeim]

A Place To Call Home

Written Around October 2011

(Dali Amato is from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. This story takes place when he’s 13. You can find his profile here.)

Ever since entering this foster home, he thought it was unfair. He had come here four years ago, and now they were taking him to a far away country. His home was here, no family could ever compare. At least not in his mind.
Dali lay down low to ground, trying to hide from the people he knew would be searching for him. His stomach growled in protest, especially as the smell of a street stall wafted past. The grass was just long enough to keep him hidden from the many feet walking past; no one expect to find him in bushes near a rushing river. Once he saw them round the corner, he bolted the other way. After a few blocks, he saw what he was looking for, pulling a piece of paper out of his pocket to confirm. Finally he thought with a sigh of relief, finding the graveyard. His hopes were dashed, however, when he saw the graveyard had to be at least five miles around. His pulled his pocket inside out, wishing for something before heading into this maze to find one person. It’s wrong what they did. I should have never been taken away. He convinced himself, swallowing his hunger and heading into the graveyard. Coming across a person with a badge, so he could only assumed he worked there, he called his attention. “Excuse me, sir?” He called, and the man turned to him. Trying to seem more like an adult than a lost kid, he stood up to his full height, currently only 5’3”, and continued after clearing his throat. “Can you please tell me where I can find Kim MoonJa’s grave?” He asked, his voice hoarse from thirst.
“Ah yeah, she’s up the hill, last row.” the man explained, pointing up the steep hill. “No one comes to visit her, so I clean it up every so often.”
“I really appreciate that, sir.” Dali replied.
“Are you her son? Where’s your father?” The man asked, looking around.
Dali stuttered a bit before backing away slightly. “Um... I’m actually in a hurry, I just wanted to stop by. I’m just a friend of the family.” He replied, tense. “Thank you again sir,” he added before running up the hill until he couldn’t breathe anymore. He looked back, resting his hands on his knees, only to see the man had not followed or watched him. Though now he’s probably suspicious of me... He thought with a mental groan. His legs were shaky as he continued his walk up the hill. He went to the left end of the last row, beginning there and looking at the name on each grave. Each one seemed to have flowers, or it looked like it had been cleaned recently. Even though the man said he cleaned it every so often often, Dali was convinced it couldn’t be that clean.
He was just passing a tree when he noticed policemen talking with the man he had been talking with earlier. He couldn’t see them very well, but noticed the policeman hold out a picture, and the man nodded excitedly. Shit. He thought, climbing up the tree. By the time he got high enough, he felt so weak. He hadn’t eaten in half a week, and hadn’t gotten any liquids since he passed a park with a water fountain the day before. He breathed deeply, leaning heavily against the tree stump. He was so hungry he felt sick. The policemen got up there, and Dali was careful not to make any noise.
“I coulda sworn he’d be up here...” The man said, looking around confused. “Said he was a family friend of one the people buried in this row. Some Korean name. Didn’t know he was missing, just thought he was a weird kid.”
“Well, if you see him, please let us know. He’s a foster child, and after he found out he was going to be adopted, he ran away.” The policeman explained.
The man tipped his hat, “will do, sir.”
With that, Dali had avoided the policemen, for now He thought, waiting until the policemen were out of the graveyard and the man was in his office before climbing out of the tree. He continued down the line, occasionally glancing back to make sure the man wasn’t outside. Finally, he got to his mother’s grave, only to collapse to his knees. So it’s true... He thought to himself, feeling tears forming in his eyes. Mother... why did you leave me? You were supposed to take me back... Instead, you left me as an orphan...? He thought, not sure whether he wanted to be angry or sad. He pulled his sleeve down, wiping off the gravestone. It was very simple, just saying “MoonJa Kim, wife of Hakim Soun. 1955-2006 Rest In Peace.” He couldn’t do much else but let tears fall as he read over the words a thousand times.

A night passed before the man who worked there discovered Dali, a lack of food making him physically weak, no longer able to run away. He had made himself mentally and even more physically weak by crying half the night, the realism of his mother’s death finally hitting him and hitting him hard. The man brought him some water before calling the police and telling them the missing boy was at what he assumed was actually his mother’s grave.
Dali woke up, feeling cold before realizing it was morning already. He turned his head, finding a cup of water by him. Although he drank it greedily, he couldn’t help but know he had been caught. An attempt to even sit up failed him as he tiredly laid back down. He let out a frustrated scream, only to have it come out as a mediocre rasp. He had barely talked to anyone in a week. He let tears fall again as he looked up to his mother’s grave. “omma, wae (mom, why)?” He asked her through sobs, as if expecting an answer. “Don’t let me be alone on this planet. Please, mother...” He begged her. His eyes felt heavy, and he didn’t wake up again until he heard the heavy footsteps of the policemen assigned to look for him.
“Dali Soun, please come with us.” The policeman told him, and his voice was harsh, but still sounded friendly.
He opened his eyes weakly, looking up at the man, not able to see him well with the sun shining down on them. “I just wanted to see her...” He told the policeman, “I wanted to see her grave.” He began sobbing again, and the policeman picked him up easily. “I know, son.” He said to the young boy, trying to be comforting. They hadn’t even gotten to the car when Dali fainted from lack of nutrients.

By the time Dali had woken up again, he was back in his room. Except now there were bars on the window, and the door to the bathroom was now accessible after the bathroom having been broken for so long. He looked around, trying to make sense of all this.
It wasn’t long before his foster mother came in. “Do you seriously have nothing better to do but make my life a living hell. If it gets out you ran away, what do you think your family will think of you? Dali, you’re going to go to a family soon. That’s what you want, isn’t it?” She asked him, her arms crossed, and her face holding a look of disappointment, as well as slight annoyance.
“It’s not.” Dali replied. His voice was still raspy, but he could tell he had gotten medicine, probably IVs and various doctor’s visits. “I want my own family, not a new family.”
“They’ll be good, they’ve adopted a lot of kids already, and they’re well-rounded children.” She explained.
Dali sat up, only to feel nauseous and dizzy and get an immediate headache. He laid back down, frustrated with this whole ordeal. “You should’ve just left me to die at her grave. At least then we’d be together.” He grumbled.
His foster mother just “tsked” and walked away, turning back to face him at the door, “We’ll bring you three meals a day, and a tutor will come in every day. You are not to leave this room.” She told him strictly, tired of his running away every couple weeks, locking the door behind her.

When he saw who his foster mother so often called “his new mom and dad,” he couldn’t help but start off immediately hating them. They were a happy couple who found out they couldn’t have any children, and so they adopted, mostly children from Asia. The mother was overly understanding, and the father seemed like he was excited to have a new son. They told Dali he could decide whether he wanted to call them “mom and dad” or “Mr. and Mrs. Amato” or “Ceri and DongWei.” When asked if there was anything he wanted to do before he left Malaysia, they brought flowers and things to clean his mother’s grave with. Dali was having a difficult time hating them.

On the plane ride back, they let him brood as he stared into the black sky, as if he’d find his mother in the stars or the clouds. It didn’t seem long enough before they arrived in America, and Dali pulled on Ceri’s sleeve from the back seat. “I’m not ready to call you ‘mom and dad’ yet.” He told them, seeming shy and withdrawn. “But when I am, I’ll call you that.”
Ceri smiled a smile Dali knew he’d have to make himself like simply because of how friendly and loving it was, and replied with a simple, “I would love that very much. When you’re ready, of course.”

[Redeim]

To Be a Parent

Written Around January 2012

(Set sometime in early January 2012. See Kavi’s profile here.)

Kavi put the phone down on the dresser carefully. How could this happen...? He wondered to himself, staring at nothing in particular as his legs felt weak and seemed to fall onto the bed.

Akio seemed to sense his twin was distressed, coming into the room only lit by the hall light and sat next to him on the bed, looking at him, “What’s up?” He asked simply, as if it were any other day.

“She’s dead...” Kavi got out, his voice not as faded as he felt it should have been. His eyes not tearing as much as they should have been. “ Allison is dead.” He repeated, this time using the name of his first love, MinKyon’s mother.

Akio furrowed his eyebrows, whether from confusion as to why he should know the name or confusion as to how she died, Kavi was unsure.

“She got brain cancer, they couldn’t cure it. She was in a coma for four months before she passed away.” Kavi explained, not sure if he just felt numb or if he felt cold for not caring as much as he felt he should have. After all, it was Allison’s mother that had called him, obviously she had found his number somehow. Suddenly he felt like he had robbed MinKyon of the chance to know her other grandparents, too. Because obviously they still cared.

Akio’s eyes widened, “I’m sorry to hear that.” He told his brother, putting an arm around his shoulder. He wasn’t sure what else to say.

After soaking up some comfort from his brother for a bit, Kavi cleared his throat and looked to his twin, “Can you just... make sure Kyon doesn’t come up?”

Akio nodded, “No problem.” He replied, getting up but not taking his hand off his brother’s shoulder until he began leaving the room. “Do you want me to turn on the light?”

Kavi shook his head, “I think this is something I’ll have to sleep on.” Ah, there we go. He thought as his voice seemed have a bit of a rasp to it.

Akio nodded, leaving the room almost as silently as he had come in.

Kavi lay down on the bed, letting out a sigh. This meant it was final. His daughter was really, truly motherless. A foolish part of him hoped Allison would’ve come back to him, saying she made a mistake, and she wanted to live happily ever after. Another part of him knew it would never happen, it had been three years, he was trying to move on, surely she had. But now, there was not even a chance of MinKyon knowing her mom. No chance of them finding each other later in MinKyon’s life and making up for everything. Now he really had to find someone for his daughter.

He would have never thought MinKyon was suffering without her mom until the day she came home from preschool, crying because her picture had been ripped up by one of the meaner girls in her class. When he looked at the picture, he saw what looked like three people. “What’s your picture of, Kyon?” He had asked his daughter.

“It’s me ‘n’ daddy ‘n’ mommy!” MinKyon had replied happily, pointing to each person as she mentioned them. “But Destiny say I dun have a mommy so she rip my pit’ure.”

“Why’d you draw a mommy? Is it grandma?” Kavi had asked her.

“Nu-uh. It’s mommy. You said she ha’ pwetty red hair, right?” MinKyon’s eyes had nearly broken Kavi’s heart, as he noticed there was tears ready to fall.

“Evey one else had a mommy, so I wan’ed to put my mommy in my picture too.” She had explained.

Kavi was broken out of his memory as he heard MinKyon shouting playfully, running up the stairs and going straight to her daddy.

“Why you in dark, daddy?” She asked him, tilting her head to the side curiously.

“I’m just... tired, Kyon.” He told her simply, picking her up and getting her to sit next to him. He stared into those deep eyes that even though they were a different color, still looked so much like her mother’s.

“But it early still, right?” MinKyon asked, laying down on her stomach next to him.

Kavi nodded, “Will you stay with me?” He asked her, patting the empty space next to him, and his daughter obliged, climbing up towards the pillows and laying her head down. Kavi met eyes with Akio, who looked away for a quick second as if saying “sorry I tried to keep her out,” and he smiled to his twin, motioning for him to shut the door. It seemed like it was going to be a tougher journey now, but it made Kavi all the more determined to find the perfect mother-figure for MinKyon.

[Redeim]

Confessions

Written Around February 2012

((Aeron and BaoChen are both currently seventeen years old. This takes place one random afternoon in late February 2012.))

“So, wait, wait, let me understand this.” Aeron said, hands up as he tried to pause his brother. “You’ve never had a girlfriend, never had an interest in girls, never really thought about dating, and you come to me? ME?” He asked dramatically.
BaoChen nodded, looking at Aeron with his crystal blue eyes.
Aeron raised an eyebrow, looking unamused. “So you’re suggesting you think you might be...?” His voice faded out, seeming as if he felt like it was an incredulous idea for BaoChen to be thinking about in the first place.
BaoChen nodded, but then bit his lip and shrugged. “I just never really thought about any sort of relationship.” He admitted.
Aeron sat down next to him before laying back on the bed. “That doesn’t mean you’re gay, dude, just that you’re either asexual or a narcissist."
BaoChen turned around and then plopped down on his stomach near Aeron on his bed. “But what if, maybe, it’s because I was thinking of the wrong kind of relationship, and just wasn’t interested?”
Aeron looked up at the ceiling. “I don’t know man. Wanna go to a gay club and hook up with someone so you can find out?” He joked monotonously.
“Not really, no.” BaoChen said, not at all phased by the joke.
“Have ever felt, you know, attracted to any men?” Aeron asked, looking over to him, bringing his arms under his head as support.
BaoChen shook his head. “Like I said, I just know I’ve never shown an interest in girls.”
“Looks like HeuSeoh lucked out, they say of boys born from the same mother, the second one has a 48% more chance of being gay.” Aeron spouted, letting out a small laugh. “Who knew GenShi was dressing up the wrong brother. And HeuSeoh’s got a girl he loves even though the idiot can’t say it, so he’s obviously not gay, as GenShi was so hoping.”
“Why was that anyway?” BaoChen asked, eyebrows furrowed as he tried to figure out his older sister.
“Why are second boys more likely to be gay or why did GenShi make a habit of giving HeuSeoh her old clothes? Cause the answer to the first one was too science-y, I didn’t read it. As for the second answer, you’ve been in this family longer than I have, so you should be able to answer that yourself.”
BaoChen chuckled slightly, “I just know mom and GenShi were really excited to get you.”
Aeron raised his eyebrows, “get me? Am I a puppy now? pick me! pick me!” He mimicked.
BaoChen laughed, “But seriously man, I’ve been thinking about this a lot.”
Aeron pulled himself off the bed to the other side, going to his own bed and pulling out a special magazine from under his mattress.
“How the fuck did you get this?” BaoChen asked amused as Aeron tossed it to him.
“I have friends in high places.” Aeron replied simply, giving him a smirk.
“So you slept with someone? I thought you were being loyal to Loreto now.” BaoChen asked. He was the only one that knew about the Vegas fiasco, and was sworn to secrecy about it.
“Loyalty will begin when he gives me what I want.” Aeron replied simply, a smirk on his lips.
BaoChen rolled his eyes, picking up the magazine and flipping through it emotionlessly. “So why’d you give me this? I probably don’t even want to be touching it.”
“Do any of the pictures turn you on, duh.” Aeron replied as if the answer was the most obvious thing in the world.
BaoChen made a face and shook his head, tossing the magazine next to Aeron. “Not really, it’s all so... fake.”
Aeron rolled over to be closer to BaoChen, placing a kiss on his lips.
“WHAT THE FUCK MAN? You’re my brother!” BaoChen yelled, pulling away quickly.
“Not by blood, just by paper.” Aeron said with a smirk.
“Well if you’re going to ask if I enjoyed that, I did not.” BaoChen replied grumpily.
“I still we just go to a gay club and let you get hooked up.” Aeron said, laying back and resting his head on his arms again.
“No.” BaoChen replied, letting out a frustrated growl before turning and grabbing a pillow. “I can’t believe I even told you. I should of known you wouldn’t take this seriously.”
“Really? Honestly, seriously, tell me who else you would talk to? GenShi and mom would just be like ‘embrace it’ and all that crap, HeuSeoh wouldn’t give a flying fuck and Thongchai would just be ‘that’s nice’ and go on with his merry fucking life.” Aeron said, now looking directly at BaoChen and supporting himself on his elbows.
BaoChen looked down, biting his bottom lip again.
Aeron sighed and laid back down. “Look, all I’m saying is if you think you’re gay, just... fuck, I don’t know. You’re going to be some famous rapper in Japan, isn’t that something you should hide?” He asked, looking over to BaoChen.
BaoChen shrugged again, “I just wanted to tell someone. I was going crazy trying to figure this shit out.”
Aeron raised an eyebrow, “And?”
“I think...” He paused, letting out a breath that seemed more like a sigh of relief, “I think I am. And I’m okay with that.”
Aeron smirked, “That wasn’t so hard now, was it? You gonna tell mom?”
BaoChen shook his head. “No way man, next thing I know she’ll be signing me up for some beauty pageant or something.” He joked, causing Aeron to laugh.
As if hearing them talk about her, Beth came up with snacks for the boys, who were both supposed to be doing homework. “What are two boys up to?” She asked, noticing Aeron quickly hide a magazine from her view.
“We finished homework so we were just talkin’.” Aeron told her simply.
Beth nodded slowly, as if saying I don’t believe either of you did any homework.
BaoChen smiled and nodded.
Beth let out a sigh and put the tray on BaoChen’s desk, too clean to actually have had anything done on it since the boys had gotten home from school. “Well, regardless, here are some snacks.” She told them.
As she was about to leave again, BaoChen called out to her. “Mom.” He said simply.
Beth turned around, “What is it Bao?”
“Um... There’s something I want to tell you but I’m not gonna say what it is until I know for sure. Like 100%.” BaoChen told her simply, causing Aeron to burst into muffled giggles as he hid his face in the blanket.
Beth raised an eyebrow. “O... kay... And I will support you no matter what the final answer is.” She said in a way that made BaoChen wonder if she already knew somehow, and she shut the door to the room.
“Classic man. Freakin dae. Bak (Awe. Some).”
“Shut up Aer.”

[Redeim]

Restart

Written 6/19-6/20, 2012

((Notes: “Ge” or “gege” means older brother; “didi” means younger brother; and “meimei” means younger sister in Chinese.
Find the Wu Family's profiles here))

2001
(JuLong: 9; Shen: 8; Li: 6)

“Ge!” Li called to her big brother JuLong. She ran up to him with a big smile as JuLong kneeled down to her level. “Ge, look what I made in class today!” She said, proudly displaying a picture of her and JuLong holding hands.
“Li, that’s great, but where’s Shen in the picture?” Julong asked, ruffling her hair as he praised her picture.
“Well, he’s hurt and he’s been in the hospital a long time…” Li explained, looking away as if she had been scolded.
“He’s still our brother. It’s important in times like this to support him.” JuLong told her with a smile.
“Okay! Tomorrow I will draw a picture for Shen ge.” Li rationalized simply.
JuLong smiled, ruffling her hair before pulling her into a hug. “Good girl~” He cooed.

2003
(JuLong: 11; Shen: 10; Li: 8)

“Welcome back!” The family cheered as their father brought in a slightly unsteady Shen. The young boy, only ten years old, seemed nervous and somewhat shocked.
Mrs. Wu was the first one to approach Shen, giving her second son a big yet careful hug before leading him to the table. “Are you hungry, sweety? I made you cake, I know you love that.” She said with a smile, and it was impossible for her kids not to catch her infectious smile.
Shen nodded simply, looking to his siblings.
“Ge, ge~” Li called to him, the little eight year old seeming smaller than her age as she pulled on Shen’s sleeve.
Shen looked down to her, then to his older brother, JuLong staring at him as if he was in a daydream, then looked back down at his sister. “W-what is it?” Shen asked her, his voice a little hoarse from his being in a coma, as well as soft from Shen’s general shyness.
Li gave her older brother a big smile, “I’m really glad you’re okay.” She told him before running off to go play with her toys in the living room.
Shen looked to JuLong, distracted only momentarily when a large piece of chocolate cake was placed in front of him.
“She’s right, you know. We’re all happy you’re okay. I wish I had known how bad it was for you didi.” JuLong replied, feeling as if Shen was expecting him to say something. “I’m sorry, I really am…” He said, and he looked it.
“It wasn’t your fault gege.” Shen replied simply, seeming focused now on eating his cake, his eyes downcast.

2007
(JuLong: 15; Shen: 14; Li 12)

“Fuck you, don’t tell me how to fucking live my life.” JuLong spurted to his mother right before pushing her.
“I know what you’re doing and I want it to stop.” His mother told him strictly.
“You don’t know fucking anything! Shut up!” JuLong yelled back.
“Gege, don’t yell at mom.” Shen told him weakly.
“Oh shut up, like you could do anything, weakling.” JuLong growled back to his younger brother, causing Shen to cower away.
With all the commotion, Li was woken up, and she came into the living room rubbing her eyes. “What’s going on..?” She asked the family. Her mother and Shen seemed to tense up as JuLong walked over to her.
“Go back to bed.” He told his younger sister, pushing her harshly against the wall before leaving through the side door, not before he could heard muttering about “needing another fix.”
“Why’d gege push me?” Li asked, tears in her eyes.
“Don’t worry about it, mei mei.” Shen replied, looking to his mother before leading her back to bed.
“What does dage (oldest brother) need to fix?” Li asked Shen innocently, eyes wide as she let Shen tuck her in.
Shen sucked in a breath, biting his lip. Eventually, he just muttered, “himself. He needs to fix himself, meimei. Now go to bed.”

2011
(JuLong: 19; Shen: 17; Li:15)

“Just go to hell JuLong!” Li shouted, slamming her door shut on her eldest brother.
“Come on, just give me some money…” JuLong begged, scratching at her door.
“Leave me alone, you bastard! What the fuck makes you think I’d give you money?” She yelled to him through the door.
“Don’t curse at me.” JuLong scolded through the door.
Li opened the door, glaring at her older brother. “FUCK YOU.” She yelled straight to his face. “What the hell makes you think I’d give you money for your fucking drugs? Just die already!” She shouted, slamming her door again once she finished. However, her door didn’t shut, kept open by JuLong’s foot. She smirked, “At least it looks like that hurt.” She growled to him, crossing her arms.
JuLong gave her a pained smile as he went into her room, immediately finding her piggy bank.
She ran to him, tackling him even though he barely budged. “Don’t you dare! That’s MY money!” She growled, trying to fight him away from her savings.
Suddenly, JuLong ended up on her bed, knocked out cold as Shen looked to him, upset, then to Li with a worried look. “Are you okay?”
Li nodded, both of them now looking at their eldest brother, “I’m pretty sure he was about to bite me…” Li muttered with disapproval dripping off every word.
JuLong came to all too soon, rubbing his head where Shen had hit him. “Fuck… Dammit Shen, don’t hit me.” He grumbled, looking up at his younger brother with an even more pained look.
“Then don’t deserve to be hit.” Shen growled back. “Leave meimei alone.” He demanded.
JuLong grumbled under his breath as he limped out of the room, still rubbing his head. He was soon heard begging with his mother for money. After he was kicked out of the house for the time being, no one really questioned what he’d be up to.

However, when he came home coming off a high and he still hadn’t gotten any money, his siblings couldn’t help but question.
“Oh my fucking god, you sold your body…” Li said in disbelief.
JuLong twitched, but said nothing against it, simply digging his hands deeper into his pockets, most likely to hide the stash he had left over.
Shen looked over to JuLong in disapproval, but said nothing, simply watching carefully for if he’d have to intervene again.
“That’s it. It’s bad enough when you come into my room every. Fucking. Day. but to sell your body to get those stupid drugs… You’ve lost all respect from me. You’re not even my family anymore.” Li told JuLong harshly, glaring at him.
“Mei mei…” Shen began, but ultimately, he knew she was right. JuLong had severed the strong ties they held as siblings when he chose to even try cocaine. They had all gotten the same lectures and anti-drugs lessons; they had all gone to the same elementary school. JuLong knew what he was risking and still chose to try it.
JuLong looked between his siblings and stood up, balling his hands into fists. “I don’t need you fuckers.” He growled to them. It was quickly becoming obvious he was probably on his way to hide in his room to get another hit.
“All you need is fucking cocaine. We know.” Li mouthed off to him.
JuLong glared at her, and before Shen could even get up, JuLong had slapped Li right across the face. Shen could only stare at his brother with his mouth open. It took a couple seconds before he stood up, pushing JuLong, “what the hell JuLong?!” He yelled to his brother. He pushed JuLong towards the hallway and to his bedroom. “Get away from her. Don’t you dare hurt her again, do you hear me?” Shen growled to him.
JuLong just smirked, stopping himself by leaning against the doorway to his room. “And you’re going to stop me little panda? What will you do?”
Shen growled as he hit JuLong in the stomach, then pushed him into the room and slammed the door on him, but not before grabbing the stash JuLong had been hiding and hiding it in his own pocket.
“Oh hell no…” Shen heard JuLong say, and he only had a couple seconds before JuLong had literally tackled him to the ground.
“BOYS!” Their mother yelled, glowering at both of them. “Stop fighting this instant!” She demanded, arsm crossed.
“He hit Li!” Shen retorted, pointing to JuLong.
Their mother looked to her eldest son, who was sobered up enough to realize now he had done wrong.
“Where did we go wrong?” She asked her eldest son, who just looked to the floor and bit his lip. “You won’t go to college, you won’t, no… you can’t get a job…” Tears came to her eyes as she put a hand on JuLong’s cheek, looking into his eyes as if the answer would be there.
JuLong twitched and looked away, pulling his head out of her grasp. He took the cocaine Shen had been trying to hide and ran out of the house, causing his mother to collapse to the floor in tears.
“At this rate, it might just be better to kick him out…” Shen muttered, only to get a weak hit on the leg from his mother. “He’s still my son and your brother.”
He’s no brother of mine… Shen growled, then suddenly remembered Li was still in the living room. He helped his mother into her bedroom before going back to his sister, who was sobbing quietly on the couch. “Mei mei…” Shen murmured, sitting next to her. He nearly felt his heart break as she moved away from him though.
It seemed as if she felt the future as suddenly a sharp pain came to Shen’s head, causing him to collapse to the floor.
Li looked up, startled at her brother’s reaction. “Mama!” She called, worried about her brother. Once their mother came in, she let out a sharp gasp. “He just collapsed…” Li explained with a worried look.
“It hurts…” Shen muttered, barely able to think the words he wanted to say the pain was so intense.
Mrs. Wu sucked in a breath, muttering under her breath about how “this was why I didn’t want you rough housing” as she called 911. Even though she seemed overly calm on the outside, as her hands intertwined with the phone cord, it became painfully obvious how worried for her son she was.

Luckily this time around, Shen was practically in and out of the hospital with a simple warning to be more careful. After all, he had been hit in the head with a baseball bat of all things, and that should’ve caused permanent brain damage, if not death.

May 9, 2012
(JuLong: 19; Shen: 18; Li: 16)

“I don’t know what else to do. They want to relocate me to America…” Mr. Wu explained to his wife after Shen and Li were asleep. They had no clue where JuLong was.
Mrs. Wu looked to the floor, seeming to be thinking hard about this. “Do you think if we move things will get any better?” She asked. As if on cue, they heard a weak knock at the front door, and then coughing.
Mr and Mrs. Wu looked at each other knowingly; it was their eldest child. But something seemed off. Mrs. Wu immediately went to the door, opening the door. The sight of her son nearly brought tears to her eyes. “JuLong! What happened?” She asked him, helping him in and sitting him at the table, only for him to wince as he sat down.
“I…”JuLong began, readjusting himself and then looking to his parents guiltily. “I’ve been a bad son…” He began, looking at the table.
His parents looked to each other, curious yet hopeful as to where this was going.
JuLong choked back tears as he looked between his mother and father.”I hit a new low…” He admitted, shifting again. His mother began to notice a bruise forming on JuLong’s neck and over his left eye. She got up to grab some ice for him.
“What happened son?” His father asked, and JuLong seemed to notice his father was there for the first time, looking at him curiously. He thanked his mother for the ice as she handed him the ice pack before continuing. “I… mei mei and didi were right, I was using my body… but tonight they said my body wasn’t… wasn’t enough…” He bit his lip, looking between his parents before pulling up his shirt and revealing harsh claw marks. “They said they were going to kill me and sell my body parts in the black market…”
His mother gasped, covering her eyes as she tried not to cry.
JuLong pulled his shirt down again and looked back at the table. With a sob, he pounded his fist against the table. “I was going to let them do it, dammit. If I could… I could just get another hit.” He admitted. He waited until he calmed down a little before continuing, looking to his mother. “But then I thought of how much I’ve hurt you already… I didn’t want to be a disappointment for you anymore.”
“Honey, I’m just glad you’re alright.” His mother told him, giving him a gentle hug. “I’ve barely seen you for almost six months.”
“I couldn’t bear knowing I was causing so much pain to this family, so I just… I roomed with one of my friends…” He explained.
“You would’ve caused us the least pain by dying.” Li interjected from the hallway, glaring at JuLong with vengeance.
“Mei mei… You…” JuLong began, but then looked to the ground. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, but just know I’m done with that life.” He told her.
“You know what you did to her, right?” Shen asked him harshly from behind Li.
JuLong nodded, hands balled into fists. “And I’m sorry.” He finished.
“Well, since you’re all awake…” Their father began, getting the kid’s attention. “We’re going to be moving to America in about a week.” He told them hesitantly
The kids seemed to be such a wide variety of feelings; the parents didn’t know which one they should pay attention to first. JuLong seemed thrilled, saying it would be a new start for him and he’d prove to the family he could be a better person. Shen just shrugged, muttering an “ok” but not seeming totally okay with the idea. Li, on the other hand, stomped her foot. “NO! You’ve got to be kidding me! Why do we have to move?” She protested.
“My job is reassigning me to a place in California.” Their father explained. “So I have to go either way.”
“So what? Why can’t we stay here?” She argued.
“Because I don’t want us to stay here if your father’s going to be in America,” Her mother interrupted.
After they had gotten Li to go back to bed, JuLong stayed at the table, eyes wide as he looked between his parents. "I think..." He began, getting their attention as well as Shen's. "I think when we move, I'll go to college." He told them.
Shen couldn't help but smile. The fact that JuLong even wanted to go was already an improvement in the right direction, and it made him remember what their mother had told him once, He's still you're brother. She had said, and at this moment, he felt the love and respect he had hidden for his older brother return, at least a little.

May 19, 2012
(JuLong: 19; Shen: 18; Li 16)

“Well, goodbye China~” Shen seemed to say all too excitedly. He had become the happiest sibling during JuLong’s withdrawal period.
JuLong grumbled, fixing his sunglasses so they blocked the sun better. He twitched slightly as their mother put a hand on his shoulder.
“You’ll get through this sweetie.” She assured him.
“I’d get through this a lot better if I could just get a fucking hit.” He snarled, shrugging her hand off him harshly.
The family held their breath to see what would happen, but their mother seemed to let it go. They were in public, their mother reminded JuLong, and you should act as such. And besides, the whole point of getting clean was not using drugs to feel better.
“I’m a little happy to be getting a new start.” Shen told his dad, considering he seemed to be the only willing to listen. JuLong was in a bad mood for the day, their mother was walking on eggshells between her eldest son and daughter trying to keep them both happy, and Li was listening to music so loud Shen was pretty sure the cab driver could still hear it even though they were in the airport now.
The younger boy smiled as he got a pat-on-the-back-of-approval from his father. “Well, at least someone’s happy.”
Shen nodded, “It’s been stressful the last few days, packing everything and whatnot, but I think this will be a good experience.” He looked to his siblings, “even if some of us can’t see that yet. We can restart.”
Mr. Wu nodded in agreement, “I think that’s what this family needs: to restart.”

[Redeim]

Always By Your Side

Written 6/27/2012

(Set around late-February 2017 in Bangkok, Thailand after Thongchai’s funeral (Forgive Me). Find Thongchai’s profile here and Beverly’s profile here.)

Beverly put a very tired Sua to bed before beginning to unpack. The last couple weeks had been so exhausting... And to top it off, she was still in debate about whether or not she’d move back to America. Kasem was still studying here, but even the young boy looked as if he was ready to pack up and leave, although the fact that he had just collapsed on the couch and fell asleep with his luggage right next to him probably wasn’t much help. Looking at her brother-in-law, she figured she could at least finalize everything she had to for Thongchai and then see what was going to happen in the future.
She went to her room, unpacking her clothes listlessly. The flight had taken nearly a whole day, and traveling was tiring enough without a two year year old to take care of. She was thankful Kasem had been with her, but he may as well have passed out about halfway through the flight. As she was unpacking, something caught her eye. It was a DVD Bethany had given her while she was with the Kitas, and on it in cute, neat handwriting (Thongchai’s handwriting, Beverly knew.) was her name with a small heart after it. She set it aside, finishing packing before grabbing the emotional comfort food more commonly known as chocolate ice cream before popping the disc into the DVD player.
And there he was.
Thongchai appeared on camera, and he looked healthier, Beverly estimated the video was probably shot at least a year ago. He was looking past the camera for the time being, laughing at something that must have happened off screen. “เกษม, คุณโง่ดังนั้น (Kasem you’re so dumb).” He teased his little brother, and then Kasem said something that wasn’t picked up by the camera. “How are you born in the Millenium Generation?” Thongchai teased again before getting up and checking the camera. “It’s recording, dummy!” Thongchai teased again before returning to the the seat he had designated himself.
“คุณกำลังทำวิดีโอทำไมกันล่ะ (Why are you making a video anyway)?” Kasem could be heard from very close to the camera, and it was adjusted so Thongchai could be seen properly.
“You’ll see...” Thongchai replied softly, and his eyes displayed a certain sadness to them.
Once the camera stopped moving, Kasem muttered a small “there, it’s ready.”
“Go,” Thongchai said simply, shooing away his brother. “ออกจากห้องพัก (Leave the room).” He demanded.
A door shutting could be heard, and Thongchai cleared his throat. “Um... Where do I start?” He asked the camera with a playful laugh. He pointed towards behind the camera, “I should’ve written a script, you know?” He joked. “We’ve got the whiteboard there.”

Beverly let out a small chuckle, even at twenty years old, Thongchai was still adorable. She began opening the ice cream container, but something on the video made her stop in her tracks.

“ความรักของฉันเท่านั้น (My only love), if you’re watching this, it means I’m... not there anymore.” Thongchai said, looking away near the end of his sentence.

Beverly bit her bottom lip, now entranced in watching the video.

“I don’t know when I’ll die, but I’m getting sicker... You know it.. and I know it...” Thongchai continued. He looked sad for only a moment longer, smiling wide as he held up the most recent picture of Sua, then only just under a year old. “We’ve got a beautiful baby girl, though. And I don’t want her to think I left her. Let her think I’m watching over her all the time instead. I can’t do that from Earth.” He try being excited about what he was saying, but by the end, his voice began cracking. “I really wanted to leave you something special, and if you haven’t collected my stuff from the hospital, make sure you do!”

Beverly swore he was right there still, seeming to know exactly how she had been lately even though this video was made a year in the past. She finally opened the ice cream container, sticking a big mouthful of chocolate ice cream into her mouth.

“It’s not done right now, but when I’m in the hospital, I’ll be busy still putting together something special for you and Sua. I love you, but you gotta promise me you won’t finish this video until you’ve gotten my stuff from the hospital! Promise me Bev!” He told her determinedly before getting up and turning off the video. Only a couple seconds of static passed before a new video began. “You’re still watching, aren’t you?” Thongchai asked, now holding the camera up. He was on their bed, laying there with Sua sleeping peacefully right next to him. “Stop watching!” He whispered, a playful smile on his face. Beverly heard her own voice in the film and Thongchai quickly waved and mouthed ‘bye’ before the camera shut off again.

Beverly did as she was told, turning off the video for now. She took a few more bites of the ice cream before going to put it back in the fridge; she had a feeling she’d want to buy more tomorrow depending on how many more ‘parts’ of this video Thongchai had made. She recalled that time she had walked in on Thongchai with the camera, and he had said he wanted pictures of Sua. At least now she knew who he had been talking to. Beverly moved Kasem’s luggage into his room for now, letting the teen sleep on the couch. It was warm enough that he wouldn’t need a blanket tonight. She turned off the lights, going into her room and going to sleep for the night.

The next morning, Beverly, having been exhausted from the hecticness of the last few weeks, losing her husband, setting up the funeral and calling family member, taking care of her daughter, nearly a day-long flight to California, returning to Riverside for the funeral, taking care of her daughter, visiting both hers and Thongchai’s families, taking care of her daughter, another nearly day-long flight back to Thailand, it had all really begun to take a toll, but something about seeing Thongchai happy and healthier helped her to not feel so alone in her bed, be able to get a good night’s rest. She woke up and for the first time in what seemed like forever, didn’t feel like cursing at the sun, and she was more surprised to find it was still pretty early. She went into her daughter’s room, the little girl sleeping peacefully, the sun playing on her face in a way that could only make Beverly appreciate the miracle her and Thongchai managed to be blessed with. She let Sua sleep more as she went into the kitchen, noticing Kasem was up but didn’t seem willing to move just yet. “Did you sleep well?” Beverly asked him softly as she began preparing breakfast.
“ไม่ (No).” Kasem groaned in return, and Beverly heard him shift, probably turn around on the couch. Her suspicions were confirmed when Kasem spoke again, this time it was muffled. “มันก็ดูเหมือนว่างเปล่าดังนั้น (It just seems so empty)...” He told her.
Beverly paused momentarily. I know. She thought as if he could read her mind. Instead, she attempted to make a joke. “What? You know Thai isn’t my first language. Speak up.” She teased, trying to poke fun at herself. She heard the tiniest sliver of a chuckle from Kasem before hearing him get up from the couch.
Kasem came into the kitchen, dragging his feet along. “ฉันจะทำกาแฟคุณต้องการบางอย่าง (I’m going to make coffee, do you want some)?” He asked her sleepily.
Beverly nodded, giving him a weak attempt at a smile. “Yes please.” She replied, then held up the pan she was using to make some omelettes. “Did you want one?” She asked him.
Kasem simply nodded, lazily going through the necessary motions to get the coffee pot started.

After breakfast, Beverly got Sua dressed and she headed out to go to the hospital to finally pick up Thongchai’s things. She was anxious to see what he had gotten for them.
“Momma, is daddy here still?” Sua asked as she noticed they were going into the hospital.
Beverly felt a pang in her chest, biting her lip as she tried to think of what to say. “No, sweetie. Remember what I told you? Daddy isn’t... isn’t here anymore.” She explained.
Sua looked at Beverly curiously, “Is he back in Califo’nia?” She asked her mother.
Technically, Beverly thought with a small wince. She went into the hospital and said hello to the front desk, not sure if it was good how familiar she had become with the staff. “I’ll explain in a little bit, sweetie.” She told her daughter before going up to the front desk. “คลิกที่นี่เพื่อรับสิ่งที่ธงชัย (I’m here to pick up Chai’s things).” She told the woman behind the counter.
The woman nodded, “แน่นอนฉันจะกลับมากับพวกเขา (Of course, I’ll be right back with them).” She said before disappearing to the back room. Beverly sat down on a nearby chair and held her daughter so Sua was still on her lap, but facing her. “Remember how I told you daddy wasn’t with us anymore?” She asked, waiting until Sua gave her a nod before continuing. “Well, he can’t be with us physically anymore.”
“Why not?” Sua asked.
“Daddy was sick. He stayed with us for as long as he could. He’ll always be with us here, though.” Beverly explained, poking Sua right where her heart was in hopes it would get the little girl to giggle, which it worked a little. Sua was by all means a daddy’s girl and Beverly knew her little girl was sad she couldn’t be by her daddy.
The nurse came back holding a couple bags that contained Thongchai’s stuff from his hospital room. “เขามีดอกไม้ภายในห้องพัก แต่พวกเขาก็กำลังจะตายดังนั้นผมจึงโยนพวกเขาออก ... ผมหวังว่าไม่เป็นไร … (He had flowers in the room but they were dying so I threw them out... I hope that's okay...)” The nurse told her, looking hopeful Beverly wouldn’t be mad.
“ไม่มีก็ปรับ (No, it’s fine).” Beverly muttered simply, thanking the nurse and taking the bags. She headed back home, Sua falling asleep on the way, probably due to the fact the humidity was coming in strong today.
Once she got home, she noticed Kasem had gone off somewhere (Probably school, Beverly figured), and so she set Sua down in her bedroom to play before setting the bags on the bed and going through them. Most of it was personal items, clothes, toiletries, medication, a couple games (Thongchai had been excited to beat the Poke’mon game for the first time in his life only about a month ago), and then... there was a notebook she never noticed before. It was a sturdy-looking, vinyl covered sketchbook. Beverly had only seen them in stores, and she wondered when Thongchai had the chance to get the book. Based on the picture on the cover, a polaroid of the three of them on their first day back in the apartment after Sua was born, courtesy of Kasem, Beverly could only assume he had gotten it while her and Sua were still in the hospital. She flipped it open, and in nice, simple handwriting (in purple gel pen, at that) was a letter to her and Sua.

To ความรักของฉันเท่านั้นการลูกสาวที่มีค่า (My only love and precious daughter),

These are pictures I want Beverly and Sua to have. They show how mom and dad met, our lives together, and after your birth. I hope by the time this notebook ends, I’ll need to make another one instead of it ending like this...[/i]

Beverly quickly dug through the bags, begging, pleading for there to be another notebook she missed, but she found none and sadly continued reading the note.

It’s not that I wanted to leave you... Either of you. I wish I can see Sua grow up into a healthy, young woman. Did I ever mention how happy I was to find out she was healthy? It was like music to my ears. I felt bad for how irresponsible I was that day, I risked both of your lives, but you’re both healthy. Beverly~ you need to make sure you never let Sua be alone, okay? You and Kasem really need to be there for her. Even if you have to let her begin dating some guy at nine to make sure she’s happy. ha ha~ As long as he stays a good guy, then he’ll be okay to me.[/i]

Beverly noticed a smudge, checking if any tears had slipped her notice before realizing it was dry, it had been Thongchai’s tear. She felt a knot in her throat as she continued reading.

I’m done denying it. I know I’m getting sicker. But this note was not meant to be sad. Beverly, Sua, please remember me through these pictures. I worked hard to get them all! I love you both so, so much.

Love,
Thongchai[/color]

Beverly bit her lip, willing herself to not cry as she flipped to the first page. In front of her was a picture, probably taken by Jaela, of Thongchai’s first time to their house. Back when they all still lived in MABTown. She put a hand over the picture, remembering how Thongchai used to be scared of their dogs, seemed overwhelmed by everything in America still. He was a new kid for her and Eric to play with, and they were excited he was only a couple months older than them. She looked to the next page, and it was pictures from their first date. She barely remembered these pictures being taken, but in this moment, she was glad they were. She had to stop bittersweet laughter at some of the pictures, whether it be awkward moments between them, or the memories attached to the pictures or their age in the pictures.
She flipped through the pages slowly, a bitter taste in her mouth forming as she began to notice how obvious it was Thongchai had only been getting sicker. Especially in his younger years, it was easy to forget he even had HIV in the first place. However, when he was sixteen, the symptoms began showing up more frequently. Through the pictures, she saw as Thongchai go thinner, paler, and more often looked tired. She swallowed back tears as she kept looking through. About half a year before Sua was born, Thongchai was told the disease was now officially AIDS, his T-cells were weakening rapidly. At the time, they were both scared. But after Sua was born, Thongchai was so excited to be a father he rarely seemed sick at all.
By the time he reached his twentieth birthday though, he had a harder time hiding how tired he’d get by simple things. About three months after his birthday, he had quit work so he could rest at home, and by the sixth month, he was brought to stay in hospice care. That word had horrified Beverly at the time. Hospice. Hospice meant it was final: he was dying. He wasn’t just sick anymore.
She wiped away some tears, finally getting to the last page of the notebook. It was a picture taken just outside the hospital grounds. He had been feeling pretty good that day, and even though the picture showed a sickly, pale young man, Beverly saw the man she’d loved for twelve years. He was in a wheelchair, but he had fun making fun of it, as well as giving Sua rides on it through the hallways (much to the annoyance of the nurses). It was taken maybe four months ago, and they all looked so happy. Just under that picture was one taken back in the hospital room, though Thongchai wasn’t in his bed yet. This time, Kasem was also in the picture, giving the camera such a big smile, looking at it now, it broke Beverly’s heart to know how much the teen must’ve been hurting to see his big brother in that condition.

Beverly calmed herself down after closing the notebook, wiping away a couple stray tears as she let out a deep breath, hearing the front door open. She checked on Sua, who had fallen asleep on the ground in the sunbeams, before going down to give the notebook to Kasem.
“What is it?” Kasem asked as he took out an earbud with one hand and grabbed the notebook with the other.
“Chai left it for us.” Beverly told him.
“Mom gave me one while we were in Riverside.” Kasem told her, not seeming willing to go through the book.
Beverly shoved it towards him gently, “I think you’d like this one too.” She told him, finally getting him to take it.
Kasem took it, still abnormally quiet as he went and sat on the couch, putting the earbud back in his ear.

Beverly went to her room again, checking on Sua again before closing her own door to the point it was almost shut. She turned her television on and began the DVD again, letting it start from the beginning again just so she could watch her husband more.

“You got it, right?” Thongchai asked once she got the new part. He was in the cutest blue and green pajamas (they had green little aliens on it), and he was hiding in the kitchen, the camera seemed to be resting on a small tripod on the table. He smiled as he adjusted the camera to make sure he was seen properly. A clock behind him displayed the time, it was only about 7:30 pm. He had probably just put Sua down for bed and Beverly was working late. “And Kasem got his? They’re photobooks!” He said as if his gifts needed an explanation, stretching his arms out wide as he looked at the camera excitedly. “I think you guys can really appreciate them.” He said with a nod. He was silent for a little bit before laughing awkwardly. “Actually, you know, it’s really weird, talking to a camera. But I want to give you more than just photos.” He paused, and the video cut off right as he began coughing.
Beverly bit her lip, waiting, hoping she would be able to see more.
Sure enough, after only a couple seconds of white noise, Thongchai reappeared, and he had a Thai ice tea next to him now. “Beverly...” He began seriously, even though he wasn’t looking at the camera.
Beverly once again felt stopped in her tracks.
“I wish we could’ve grown old together.” He laughed bitterly, finally looking at the camera with shining eyes. “I think it would’ve been fun. You know, Asians are supposed to age gracefully.” He teased, laughing again, “But actually, I think you’ll be really pretty, even when you’re 60, 70... I know you will be.”
Beverly smiled, bringing her legs up to her chest as she rested her head on her knees. “You would’ve been so cute, even in old age.” She whispered to her husband, as if he could hear her through the video.
“Um...” Thongchai began again, then laughed. “I really should’ve made a script. I’m improvising this entire video.” He told her.
“Do you remember, when we were about... sixteen, maybe? And we first decided we were going to move to Thailand for college?” Thongchai asked, pointing a finger at the camera. “And I told you I was scared to go back?” He paused for a second, as if the camera would answer. “Because I had such a bad life in Thailand.” He looked to the table, playing with his tea as he rotated the bottle around, mixing it slightly. “To be honest, my biological parents had sold me to a brothel. I was a child prostitute until momma found me.” He told her.

Beverly gasped, how could Thongchai have never told her? Sure, maybe when they were younger he didn’t know how, but as teens? Once they were in Thailand? She felt a little betrayed, but the sheer amount of pain she had from losing Thongchai was enough to make it disappear almost as fast as the had appeared.

“It’s not that they wanted to. But when they found out they were going to have Kasem, they knew they wouldn’t be able to afford two kids.” Thongchai’s eyes were brimming with tears, and even though he had been so nervous when they were getting ready to fly to Thailand, it was obvious to Beverly that Thongchai never once hated his biological parents for what they did to him. “My parents were farmers, living on the outskirts of Bangkok. The crop was really bad for them the year Kasem was born, and they were already suffering. My parents loved both of us very much, but...” Thongchai looked away, biting his lip. He cleared his throat. “It was in the first brothel I got HIV. I know you probably want to blame my biological parents, because trust me, I did for a long time.” He gave the camera a weak smile, pushing some hair from out his face. “Where was I going with this..?” He thought aloud, furrowing his eyebrows.
His confusion caused Beverly to smile a little, laughing softly to herself as he spent a good minute trying to remember why he had brought up the topic.
“Oh! Because! Um, I want you know. Even though I was really nervous, and scared, and well... so many different feelings. Oh my gosh, way too many to list them on camera, I’d probably use up the entire tape.” He joked, letting out a laugh. “Even though I was nervous about returning to Thailand, I’m so glad I did! Especially since it was with you. I’ve had so much fun these last few years, I’m sad we had to start working.” He laughed, innocent and truly happy, “I mean, at least with college we were able to have summer and winter vacation to play and travel!” He calmed down a little, a smile still playing on his lips. “We had fun. Even though I wish I could have had more fun adventures with you, this is how it’s turned out.” He sighed, then his emotions took a 180-degree turn as he looked pointedly at the camera. “Beverly! Listen to me well! If another man walks into your life, give him a chance. Especially if he’s good to you. And you lock him down if he takes care of Sua well, you hear me?” He seemed to be on the verge of tears again. “You were my soulmate, there’s no denying that. I’m not asking you to turn this off and go out and start dating now. But when you’re ready, I want you to at least give the poor guy a chance.” He laughed, but as his eyes closed slightly, a tear fell. “You’re beautiful, and I don’t want you waiting until you can see me again to be happy.”
Beverly wiped her own tears away, choking back a sob as she saw that tear fall. She covered her mouth in hopes to quiet herself so she could finish the video. However, that section was cut off as she once again heard the door open from outside of the camera’s view. This time, she heard Kasem beginning to ask him what he was doing before the camera cut off.
She waited the couple seconds before the next part. This time, it was bright outside, and Thongchai was in a green tank top and was in the bedroom again. Beverly patted the spot next to her, right where he had been. The sun was playing off his face in a way it made him look even healthier than he had been in the last few clips.
“Hi again.” He told the camera with a wave. He moved so he was on his stomach, holding the camera out with arms extended. He smiled. “No one should be home for a while, so I’m hoping to finish this now...” He began, looking behind him towards the door as if double-checking no one was there. “So then... I think I’ve covered everything... Oh, wait! Beverly, in the hall closet, there’s that box you always questioned me about. You know, the one labeled ‘stuff?’” He laughed playfully. “I closed it up so you wouldn’t look in it, you haven’t looked in it yet, right? Well, I actually put together DVDs of all the videos, pictures, and recorded times we ever had.” He brought the camera close to his face, “Even that time in karaoke.” He whispered with a chuckle, talking about their failed first experience in an Asian karaoke room. “So I think all of you can enjoy them. I tried to label them by date, but my memory sucks sometimes.” He joked, making a silly face with the words. “It starts off at my tenth birthday party, remember that?” He said, then laughed light-heartedly. “Cause I didn’t! You and Eric were there, and Kasem was so cute! I forgot how cute my baby brother was!” He said with a laugh. “There’s also us playing with ChoHee and D.J.! There’s so many fun things that happened on camera! I hope in the future you can show Sua so she can remember me. Even if she only remembers because of the videos, at least she remembers, right?” He rolled over so he was on his back, holding the camera up in the air. “I love you so much... I’m glad I met you, I don’t know how I would’ve lived without you. I wish I could be there for you forever, but since you’re watching this the most I can do now is watch over you. Happy Anniversary, Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday~” He said each one slowly, giving a couple seconds of pause between each one, then smiled widely. “Now you’ll never have to miss hearing me say those things! If you move back to the U.S, I’ll understand, but make sure Sua knows about Thailand, okay? It’s important for her to know and understand Thai culture and language for me, you know that. Also!” He held up a finger, once again looking like he was trying to make a point, “Never let her forget our favorite holiday! Songkran was the most fun when I got to celebrate it with my girls! Even in death, I’ll be by your side Beverly, I promise you.” Thongchai gave a small kiss to the camera and then the camera was turned off, and the DVD player returned to its main screen suggesting the video was over.
Beverly let herself cry for a little bit before wiping away her tears. She swore she could feel Thongchai’s arms around her as she stayed seated on the bed for just a little bit longer. Sua calling for her shook her out of her thoughts.
“Momma!” The little girl called, running into the bedroom.
Beverly smiled to the little girl, picking her up and setting her next to her. “What?” Beverly asked her with attempted enthusiasm.
“I had a dream and daddy was in it!” Sua said excitedly.
Beverly raised an eyebrow, once again forcing down that knot in her throat. “R-really?” She asked her daughter.
Sua nodded, “Yep! I asked him where he was and he said he was right next to me, but I couldn’t see him anymore. Daddy’s invisible now!” She said excitedly, making it seem like having an “invisible daddy” was the coolest thing in the world.
Beverly bit her lip as a small but real smile played on her lips, picking Sua up to head into the living room. “Something like that, sweetie...” She said softly. She let out a sigh. It wouldn’t be easy, and it by no means would happen quickly, but Beverly knew she’d have to begin picking up her life where she had left off. And knowing Thongchai would always be there (As an invisible daddy, Beverly thought amused) helped to ease the pain, even if it was only slightly.

[Redeim]

A Day to Remember

Written 6/29-30, 2012

(Set in late April-May 2020. The Kita Family (+ In-Laws) work together to do something special for the girls in their lives.)

It had started with an email. HeuSeoh had sent it at sometime on a Thursday.

On Thu, 4/15/2020, HeuSeoh Kita <[e-mail]> wrote:

Hey, guys, I have the greatest idea for the girls this mother’s day. A Bahama cruise! here’s the page I was looking at. I was just going to give Morgan a nice couple-day vacation to go off and relax on Jeju Island with any friends she can find, but I think it’d be nice to get the whole family together again, and mom would probably love it. The catch is, we have to meet in Miami, Florida for the port and we seriously all need to chip in.
Email me what you think and DON’T tell any of the girls!

On Thu, 4/15/2020, Kasem Kita <[e-mail]> wrote:

I don’t have a girlfriend... -.- Why’d you send me this?

On Thu 4/15/2020, HeuSeoh Kita <[e-mail]> wrote:

For Beverly, idiot.... She’s a mother too. ಠ_ಠ

On Thu, 4/15/2020, Kasem Kita <[e-mail]> wrote:

Oh... Yeah. Why do I have to pay for her though? She’s not my wife.

On Fri, 4/16/2020, Eric Black <[e-mail]> wrote:

Just freakin do it, Kasem! I’ll help you pay the way if you need me to. I think it’s an awesome idea.

On Fri, 4/16/2020, Junsu Kita <[e-mail]> wrote:

I like the idea too! But I think Autumn would want her sisters (you know, Lindsey and Jasmine) to come along.

On Fri, 4/16/2020, HeuSeoh Kita <[e-mail]> wrote:

I don’t care who comes, as long as they’re a mother and can pay their own way. :D And BTW, I was talking to cruise company, kids under five go free. So...

On Fri, 4/16/2020, Kasem Kita <[e-mail]> wrote:

Sua’s 5... Does she get in free? ಠ_ಠ

On Fri, 4/16/2020, HeuSeoh Kita <[e-mail]> wrote:

ಠ_ಠ................................. Kasem... shut up. Kids under 5.

On Fri, 4/16/2020, Eric Black <[e-mail]> wrote:

Beverly’s not going to be a fun-sucker, is she?

On Fri, 4/16/2020, Kasem Kita <[e-mail]> wrote:

ERIC HAVE A SOUL. I still miss my brother too! D:
Besides, Beverly’s practically become a workaholic. She’ll probably enjoy the break.

On Fri, 4/16/2020, Eric Black <[e-mail]> wrote:

I do have a soul. ಠ_ಠ Thongchai was my friend for just as long as he was Beverly’s....
Why has she become a workaholic? That’s so... un-Beverly.

On Fri, 4/16/2020, Kasem Kita <[e-mail]> wrote:

To keep food on the table, keep Sua healthy, etc..... duh. Thailand’s going through a rough economic time. I help her, but I have my own apartment now. I mean, it’s right next to hers, but still...
Besides, she’s pruod. ಠ_ಠ

On Fri, 4/16/2020, Eric Black <[e-mail]> wrote:

What is pruod? I hope it’s not infectious. heh heh

On Fri, 4/16/2020, Kasem Kita <[e-mail]> wrote:

I’m dyslexic you heartless, soulless human being!!!!! D<

On Fri, 4/16/2020, Sammy Amato <[e-mail]> wrote:

I want to so be in. o__o But Jaela and I are new parents still in college. TT___TT

On Fri, 4/16/2020, Bayne Black <[e-mail]> wrote:

Wow, way to use an email address I made in like... middle school HeuSeoh. lol I’m totally down for this. GenShi would love it and if they have an under five special, I can only assume DJ will love it too.
Sammy-I can help you out for my baby sister. =D

On Fri, 4/16/2020, Sammy Amato <[e-mail]> wrote:

You’re the awesomest brother-in-law ever. =D

On Fri, 4/16/2020, Eric Black <[e-mail]> wrote:

You tryin’ to pick a fight, too? *_*

On Sat, 4/17/2020, HeuSeoh Kita <[e-mail]> wrote:

Forgive me if someone decided to not keep in touch.
Kasem, Eric, stop fighting, are you two in or not?

On Sat, 4/17/2020, Lanh Amato <[e-mail]> wrote:

Junsu forwarded me this... I’m so in. OwO

On Sat, 4/17/2020, HeuSeoh Kita <[e-mail]> wrote:

…. I totally forgot there was someone I should know in Korea with me. Wassup, Lanh? :> Feel free to join us. :D Both your kids will get in free. And, to answer your question Bayne, yes, since it’ll be during Mother’s Day, they’ve got a bunch of activities for moms and their kids.

On Sat, 4/17/2020, Kasem Kita <[e-mail]> wrote:

I’m in. ಠ_ಠ Do they have any specials for uncles?

On Sat, 4/17/2020, Junsu Kita <[e-mail]> wrote:

Probably not, Kasem. haha. But maybe they’ll have something fun for teens. C:
HeuSeoh, I’m ignoring you. Apparently me living two blocks away from you qualifies me as chopped liver. =.=
BTW, HeuSeoh, Enzo said they can’t, and that he’s totally jealous.

On Sat, 4/17/2020, HeuSeoh Kita <[e-mail]> wrote:

Hyung (older brother)! I meant... outside of the immediate family.. :D....... yeah.
Send the money to this bank account everyone. And leave a message about how many people are coming in your group. I’m paying for mom, so don’t worry about her.

On Sat, 4/17/2020, Junsu Kita <[e-mail]> wrote:

=______________________= How do I know this isn’t just a hoax to get my money?

On Sun, 4/18/2020, HeuSeoh Kita <[e-mail]> wrote:

Junsu.... look... I’m sorry man... Just... give me the money in person and we can even let Ran and JaeSun hang out for a bit, okay? :3

On Sun, 4/18/2020, Kasem Kita <[e-mail]> wrote:

Why aren’t any of our cousins included?

On Sun, 4/18/2020, HeuSeoh Kita <[e-mail]> wrote:

… Do you really wasnt JiSeok to come on this cruise? Don’t you think that’d ruin it? And Kavi’s being punished for breeding like a rabbit. |C

On Sun, 4/18/2020, Eric Black <[e-mail]> wrote:

Regardless of who we want to come on this trip... Rochelle would literally murder every single one of us if we didn’t include her.

On Sun, 4/18/2020, Bayne Black <[e-mail]> wrote:

I invited them already, JiSeok said yes. And for the record, HeuSeoh, this is my most recent email address.

On Mon, 4/19/2020, HeuSeoh Kita <[e-mail]> wrote:

dually noted, Bayne. But damn... I was hoping to avoid those two... -_-

On Mon, 4/19/2020, Bayne Black <[e-mail]> wrote:

D.J. and ChoHee have become pretty good friends, actually. I think she’d hate him if he suddenly got to go on a cruise. For the first time since... ever... pretty much, I think I’m slowly starting to become friends with Rochelle.

On Mon, 4/19/2020, Eric Black <[e-mail]> wrote:

O_O Who are you and what have you done to my older brother?!

On Mon, 4/19/2020, Junsu Kita <[e-mail]> wrote:

Is there a certain day/time we’re planning to meet in Miami?

On Mon, 4/19/2020, HeuSeoh Kita <[e-mail]> wrote:

Oh um... not really. I’m just thinking Kasem, you, me and Lanh can all meet in Incheon and/or Japan and fly to Florida from there. Since the cruise leaves on the 8th, why don’t we arrange to meet on the 7th in Florida at the Best Western Hotel here? Then those of us that need to can readjust to the time difference.

On Mon, 4/19/2020, Kasem Kita <[e-mail]> wrote:

You expect me to take a 23 hour flight with a five year old? ಠ_ಠ

On Tues, 4/20/2020, HeuSeoh Kita <[e-mail]> wrote:

You’ve done an 18 hour flight with a three year old. ಠ_ಠ

On Tues, 4/20/2020, Kasem Kita <[e-mail]> wrote:

And then I crashed for a good week trying to get back on Thai time.

On Tues, 4/20/2020, HeuSeoh Kita <[e-mail]> wrote:

You’re impossible. (._. ) okay guys, everything’s settled, the tickets should be coming to me soon! See you in... 17 days. :D
Except you Junsu. I’ll see you sooner in an attempt to get you to stop hating me.

Thursday, May 7, 2020

Bayne (31), GenShi (29), and Devyn (7)

“Honey, I love a surprise as much as the next person but I swear if you keep this blindfold on me any longer I will make it look like you’re kidnapping me.” GenShi insisted a little bit too loudly, biting her lip in frustration and digging her nails into her hand. Bayne had put on her a sleeping mask and headphones, so except for when she was going through security at the airport, which Bayne had carefully monitored her chances to look at the plane ticket, she had no clue where they were going.
“Calm down, honey, just a little longer.” Bayne assured her as he took off her headphones only once they were safely in the corridor and going to pick up their luggage. He looked to his son, now seven years old, and chuckled to him.
“I know you guys are plotting something and I don’t like it.” GenShi insisted, her hands seeming to be constantly ready to fight off “attackers.”
“Mom, chill.” Devyn said with a laugh.
“No, D.J., I will not chill until I know what’s going on.” GenShi told her son, arms now crossed over her chest. She flailed around a bit before finding Bayne’s arm; “The least you could’ve done was tell me we were going on a flight! I nearly passed out suddenly feeling myself being lifted into the air!” She scolded him.
Bayne, used to GenShi’s ‘violent’ behavior, could only smile more. He picked up the luggage and gave a simple wave as he noticed a tired looking HeuSeoh and Morgan, as well what seemed like only the most hyperactive three year old he had ever seen. At least, that he had seen since his own siblings were that age.
HeuSeoh waved back, giving a lazy smile. Morgan was looking around, seeming to know they were in Florida, but not why. ’Meet you at the hotel HeuSeoh mouthed to Bayne, then signaling to the luggage belt as if saying they were still waiting.
Bayne nodded, taking his own wife and leading her outside. “Now we’re getting in a cab.” He told GenShi as he slid the headphones back over her ears.
“I will cut you...” GenShi growled, though her body seemed very willing to follow where Bayne was leading her.

HeuSeoh (27), Morgan (26), and Ran (2)
and Junsu (31), Autumn (26), and JaeSun (3)

“Why are we going to ‘merica?” Ran asked his father for the fifth time since he had heard the plans only an hour ago.
“It’s a surprise for Mother’s Day.” HeuSeoh answered his son patiently, packing up the final items they’d need. He made sure to pack all the tickets for the cruise in his carry on, after all, he was the one in charge of it. He made sure not to tell Ran exactly what those plans were, knowing his child was only two and not quite capable yet of fully understanding the exact meaning of the word “secret”
“And we’re leaving when mommy gets off work?” Ran asked.
HeuSeoh sighed, a playful smile on his face as he picked up his son and pretended to put him away in the suitcase. “If you keep asking so many questions, you’re going in the cargo.” He teased, tickling his little boy.
“Okay!” Ran giggled through laughter. He pretended to close the suitcase.
“Are you sure? It’s dark in there.” HeuSeoh told him, crouching down and then popping back up, calling out ‘boo!’
“Okay, no, I don’t wanna.” Ran said, making it seem so final.
HeuSeoh chuckled again, picking up his boy and putting him next to the suitcase on the bed. “Listen to me Ran. You get one carry-on. That means a bag you can bring on the plane with you. Why do you go find one,” He held up a finger, looking Ran straight in the eyes. “Just one stuffed animal you want to bring, and then one game, okay?” He told him, then held out one of Ran’s favorite backpacks. “It can only come if it can fit in this, okay?”
The two year old nodded, taking his backpack and going into his room. HeuSeoh was just putting away the final stuff when he heard the door open, and he knew it could only be his wife.
“Mommy!” Ran called, instantly racing towards his mother. HeuSeoh followed close behind.
“Hi, Ran!” Morgan called out, instantly crouching so she could hug her little boy. HeuSeoh really had to give his wife props, she spent all afternoon working in an afternoon preschool in one of the foreign schools, and then still always had the energy to come home and play with their baby boy. HeuSeoh had once joked maybe that was the upside to her ADHD.
“Mommy! We’re goin to ‘merica for a suprise for you!” Ran spilled completely after giving his mom a quick kiss on the cheek.
Morgan looked at Ran, and then to HeuSeoh. “Oh really?” She asked her boy, though it was obvious she was more so saying it to her husband.
HeuSeoh shrugged, giving her a snarky smile, “You know... We’ve spent so long in Korea, I thought you might enjoy it. Just think, Morgan, American food. I know I’m for sure looking forward to a good, big, bacon cheeseburger.” He told her with a laugh.
Morgan smiled, “when does our flight leave?” She asked.
HeuSeoh pulled out his phone. “In about um... two and half hours.”
“... HeuSeoh.”
“Yeah?”
“It takes an hour just to get to the airport.”
“I know...” HeuSeoh gave Morgan an innocent look. Suddenly, his eyes widened as he realized why Morgan looked so freaked out. “Don’t worry! Everything’s packed!” He assured her, going into the bedroom and closing up the suitcase, and then putting his carry-on over his shoulder. Since the backpack he was using had two main pockets, he had put some of Morgan’s favorite things-to-pass-the-time in one and then his stuff in the other. When he came back with the luggage, he looked to Ran.
“Did you do what I asked you to, buddy?” He asked him, ruffling the little boy’s hair.
Ran nodded and held up his bag, “Yep!”
“And what’d you pack?” HeuSeoh asked.
“My doggie and your iPod.” Ran replied matter-of-factly.
“So that’s where it went. Fine. We should get going. The airport bus will be here soon.” He told them.
“Wait... Where’s Tiger?” Morgan asked, looking around for their cat.
“Our neighbor agreed to take care of him, don’t worry, come on.” HeuSeoh said, ushering everyone out the doors.
It didn’t take long before they got the bus to the airport and were on their way. They met up with Junsu, Autumn, and their three year old, JaeSun once they got to the airport. Even though Lanh was living in Korea, for the time being he had been in Japan with his own wife and kids, and said he’d just meet everyone at the hotel.
Junsu still seemed a bit bitter about HeuSeoh claiming he had no one to talk to whilst in Korea, but eventually they got a casual conversation going, giving each other sly glances and smiles as the girls tried to figure out what was being planned for them.
The flight was relatively uneventful, as Junsu had given HeuSeoh the “secret” of child-safe sleeping pills (it was actually an air-sickness pill he had once given JaeSun and ended up finding out it knocked the boy out like a light), but about halfway through the flight, both boys had woken up and were getting restless, and of course it was while everyone else was trying to sleep. As Morgan and Autumn tended to their sons in individual bathrooms, HeuSeoh looked to his older brother, looking exhausted already. “Luckily...” The younger of the two said as if he had just run a mile, “The girls don’t even seem to be thinking twice about what time of year it is...” He whispered, as if acting like the girls would be back any second even though they had just gone.
Junsu stretched as best he could in his seat, giving his brother a nod. “Maybe too much time in Korea, with only a parent’s day, has made them forget.” He joked, causing HeuSeoh to laugh softly as well.
Once they had gotten to the airport, Junsu was forced to find a bathroom with a sink big enough to practically give JaeSun a bath, as the boy had managed to practically bathe in his breakfast instead of eat it, and HeuSeoh led Morgan and Ran over to baggage claim, telling Junsu they’d meet up again at the hotel.
Morgan held onto Ran, instantly sitting down on a nearby bench near where their turnstile was as Ran squirmed in her arms, wanting to run around and play. HeuSeoh was scanning the area for anyone else who showed, smiling as he saw Bayne leading a rather upset-looking GenShi, but otherwise he saw no one yet. They had all agreed to meet up for dinner at 6, and Kasem, Beverly, and Sua were supposed to be the latest arrivals, coming in around 4:30 p.m.
“What I don’t understand is why didn’t we go to Riverside? When Ran said we were going to the U.S, I thought for sure it was going to be Riverside.” Morgan rambled, curiously trying to figure out what her husband had up his sleeve.
HeuSeoh just smiled, resting his head on her shoulder, “You’ll see.” He assured her.

Eric (23), Batari (23), Mason (2), and Makenzie (2)
and JiSeok (26), Rochelle (27), ChoHee (7), and Habika (5)

Eric was thrilled as he, Batari, and the twins headed towards the airport, his mom nice enough to drive them (after a good three days of complaining her kids never did anything special, to the point Eric ended up getting the Black kids to send their own mother on a cruise of her own (and then convincing HeuSeoh to send his mom on the same cruise)). Batari only knew they were going on a flight, she still didn’t even know the destination.
“Can I see my ticket yet, Eric?” She asked him, weakly reaching for his bag. She had been fighting to see their destination all morning, and by now she was exhausted.
“No, no, no.” Eric said, pulling the bag away.
“Daddy, will it be fun?” Makenzie asked, looking at him curiously.
Eric nodded, he had also only told them they were going on a trip.
They got to the airport and said goodbye to Tori, and then getting them on the flight, he conveniently and expertly covered Batari’s ears every time the destination was mentioned.
“You’re a brat.” Batari told him, pushing him playfully. It was pretty obvious she was enjoying every minute of this.
They got to Florida without error, and Eric was thrilled to see the twins practically pass out in the humidity of the Florida spring. The only other people he saw that he recognized was Rochelle, JiSeok and their two kids.
Eric rolled his eyes, “great...” He muttered under his breath.
Batari looked at him curiously before noticing her older brother. She smiled, “Hi JiSeok oppa (older brother). Rochelle.” She smiled and leaned down to be eye level with their two adorable daughters. “And hi you two, long time no see.” She told them, giving them each a hug. She turned the stroller (the airport was nice enough to give them a two seater to get the twins around) so Habika and ChoHee could see their baby cousins. “Do you remember them?” She asked the two girls.
“Are they still noisy?” Seven-year-old ChoHee asked with a grumpy-face.
JiSeok chuckled, “Hey sis. You know, ChoHee, you were noisy as a kid too.” He insisted.
“Nu-uh.” ChoHee argued back.
“Yes, you were.” Rochelle grumbled.
JiSeok bit his lip and attempted to give Rochelle a hug, but she pushed him away. “Roch, honey... I said I was sorry. I told you I crash on planes.” He told her weakly, causing Batari to only be able to giggle.
“Whatever, let’s get our baggage and go. You said the hotel was close, right?” Rochelle said, her voice becoming softer with each word, though it was obvious she was still mad at her husband.
“Did you have a good flight?” Batari asked, looking like she knew she was taking a risk in asking it.
“Maybe some people did.” Rochelle growled, glaring at her husband. “Someone else took the responsibility of taking care of their seven and five year old daughter.” She replied pointedly.
Eric sighed, deciding it was time to just say it. “Do you wanna take a taxi together?” He seemed to groan more than ask.
Rochelle looked at her younger brother, confused. Eric and her had never been close enough for him to willingly ask something like that, and she could only assume he was doing it out of politeness rather than because he wanted to.
“Why not?” JiSeok finally answered back, sticking one hand in his pocket as he grabbed Habika’s hand before she could rush off to the finally-moving conveyor belt, some baggage starting to appear.

Sammy (20), Jaela (20), and Ava (3 months)

“Jaela, Jaela, Jaela.” Sammy called as he ran over to her. She was taking pictures of Ava, currently sleeping peacefully on the couch, and it caused Sammy to stop in his tracks and admired the baby girl.
“What is it?” Jaela asked after Sammy was silent for a little bit.
“What? Oh... um... We’re going on vacation for two and half weeks!” He told her, getting excited after he remembered what it was he wanted to tell her.
Sammy could see excitement in Jaela’s eyes, but she frowned. “But Ava’s still so young... I don’t know, Sammy.”
“Come on, Jaela, we’ve been practically homebound since she was born. I’m going stir-crazy, I can’t imagine how you feel.” Sammy argued.
Jaela took a picture of him, letting out a giggle as the picture showed him pouting at her like they were kids again. “Fine. On one condition,” she said, holding up a finger to emphasize her point.
“What? Anything.” Sammy agreed.
“You pack Ava’s stuff, and take care of her on the way there. Are we driving?” Jaela began, tilting her head curiously as she asked the question.
“Um... no, we’re taking a plane.” Sammy told her, thinking to himself, and a boat... heh heh.
“Ooo~ really? Now I’m curious.” Jaela said, heading up to their bedroom.
“We’ve only got a couple hours, so make sure to hurry~” Sammy called to her, carefully picking up his baby girl in an attempt to not wake her. He brought her into her room and pulled out a small duffel bag. He began by pulling out a few diapers to put in the carry-on, and then shoving the rest of the bag into the duffel. He grabbed some of her cutest summer clothes, then a couple pairs of heavier clothes just in case the weather wasn’t as they planned. Hearing a couple whines, he went over to his baby girl. “You’re going to have fun.” He promised her. “The best part is you’re getting in free!” He said excitedly, lifting her into the air and causing her to giggle. He brought her close to him, making sure she didn’t need a diaper change or anything before carrying her around. As he got into the bathroom, he looked to her, “Do you wanna help me pack?” He asked her with a smile. She smiled back, putting a hand on his chin, and it caused him to smile more. “I’ll take that as a yes.” He told her, leaning her over carefully so her attention would be on her hairbrush. She reached out for it, picking it up and instantly putting it to her mouth.
“Thank you.” Sammy said, taking it from her gently.
After a couple more rounds of “take things from Ava before they went to her mouth” and the changing of a diaper, they were ready to go.
“Did you pack for me?” Sammy asked Jaela with a teasing smile.
“Yes...” Jaela replied, rolling her eyes and pretending to be annoyed.
Soon enough, they were out the door and headed to the airport. Sammy and Jaela were thankful Ava had yet to be a truly fussy baby, and six hours on a plane didn’t change that, Ava only crying once when she got hungry, and then babbling a bit when she wanted her diaper changed. He caught sight of Eric, Batari, JiSeok, and Rochelle getting into a cab together, but made an extravagant show of 'tripping,' causing Jaela to let out a small giggle. Jaela looked around the airport, still trying to figure out why they were in Florida, of all places.
“Are we going to Disneyworld?” Jaela asked as they waited for their luggage.
“Nope. That can be in a couple years when Ava will be able to enjoy it.” He responded with a smile, giving Ava a small kiss on the cheek as he mentioned her.
Jaela bit her lip, trying to figure it out until she noticed the luggage. “There.” She stated simply, pointing them out with a motion towards them.
Sammy grabbed the bags and they headed outside. “Let’s put it this way... It’ll be fun, and it starts off with a dinner with the rest of the family tonight.” He hinted.
“My family or your family?” Jaela asked curiously.
“Well, Lanh’s going to be here too, but it’s mostly your family and the Kita family.” He explained, and Jaela’s eyes lit up at the thought of seeing her siblings again.
“What are we waiting for? Let’s go!” She said, getting a taxi ten times quicker than Sammy seemed to have been able to.

Kasem (18), Beverly (23), and Sua (5)

“Beverly.” Knock, knock knock “Beverly.” Knock, knock--
“Been watching Big Bang Theory again, I see.” Beverly told her brother-in-law, looking at him annoyed.
Kasem smiled widely, “จ้ะ (Yep).” He told her with a grin. He looked behind her as he heard little footsteps.
“Uncle!” Sua called out, jumping into Kasem’s arms as if she hadn’t just seen him that morning.
“Sua, sawadeekraup (hello)~” He told her, poking her nose playfully as he stood up with her in his arms.
“sawadeekaa, Na (hello, uncle). Why are you here?” Sua answered, looking as adorable as ever.
“Actually, that’s what I’m here for.” Kasem replied, looking to Beverly to get her to let him into the apartment more.
Beverly raised an eyebrow skeptically, but let him in, all of them going to the couch.
Kasem smiled, “we, as in all three of us,” He began, watching Beverly’s reaction carefully, but she only raised her eyebrow further. “Are going to go to America!” He said excitedly, raising up Sua arms, making her giggle.
“Why? What about work?” Beverly asked him, not seeming to like the idea. Then again, the last time they had gone to America, Beverly was also pretty much exhausted, though most likely for very different reasons.
“I called your work and told them you quit.” Kasem joked, only able to keep a serious face for a couple seconds. “No, I lied and told them we had a family emergency-we don’t, don’t worry-and we had to return to America for a little while.” He told her.
“I was about to strangle you...” Beverly grumbled. The economy in Thailand had taken a turn for the worse the year before, and jobs were becoming scarce. That, on top of new civil unrest, Beverly barely liked sending Sua off to school in the morning with only Kasem as her guide. The last thing she needed was a brother-in-law telling her work she quit.
“Hey... Don’t be mad at me, I think you’ll like this. But we need to get ready, the flight’s leaving in about four hours.”
After a little more convincing, Kasem had finally gotten Beverly to begin packing. He helped by grabbing Sua’s stuff. “Kasem, how long will we be gone? What about school? I don’t want Sua to miss too much and you’ve still got classes.”
Kasem went up behind her, massaging her shoulders, “Beverly, calm down, will you? I took care of everything. It’s a stress-free vacation. I’ll help Sua with her homework, alright?” He promised her. “We’ll be gone about two and a half weeks.”
Beverly sighed, still looking to Kasem skeptically. “I just don’t get why this is so sudden.” She told Kasem honestly. “It couldn’t wait for summer?”
“No, it couldn’t, now keep packing.” Kasem told her, rolling his eyes.
Beverly packing her relatively new-favorite video didn’t escape Kasem’s notice.
“You may not need that.” Kasem replied simply, knowing it was the video Thongchai had made for her.
“Yes. You still have that little teddy bear.” Beverly replied simply, “Think of it like my security blanket.”
Kasem stuttered a bit, blushing slightly. “That teddy bear is from my real parents. That’s totally different!” He argued.
“Assuming you packed already-”
“I did.”
“I bet you 300 baht (about $9.00) you packed it.” Beverly replied simply. She looked to him, leaning on her suitcase. “Even if you might not even bring it out of your suitcase.” She said, and the look on Kasem’s face told her she hit the nail on the head. She smirked and went back to packing.
Kasem sat down on the bed next to her suitcase. “First of all, น้องสะใภ้ (sister-in-law), his name is Mr. Puy (Fluffy), and second of all, that’s totally different than bringing a DVD. Stuffed animals are um... ดัดแปลงได้ง่าย (malleable). DVDs don’t move as easy.” He argued. “What if it broke?”
“There’s a copy saved to my computer.” Beverly replied without thinking. She had done so after she had caught Sua using a different DVD as a frisbee about a year ago. She couldn’t stop her smile the more she thought about Kasem’s stuffed animal. With it’s condition, it was pretty obvious it had withstood the test of plenty of airplane flights, let alone the fact if he got it (whoops, him, Beverly thought, still amused) from his biological parents, that meant he had gotten it at least fifteen, maybe even sixteen years ago.

They managed to make it to the airport on time, and by the time they got in the airplane, they were welcoming the cabin’s cool air-conditioning. “So tell me, Kasem... Why did the speaker say we were going to Florida, not California?” She asked him curiously.
Kasem smiled, “That’s part of the surprise!” He told her, still excited about the plans for the vacation.
By the time they got into their fourth hour on the flight though, Kasem was restless, let alone Sua. “Beverly, I’m just going to bring her back to the bathroom, even if she doesn’t have to go, it’ll still be nice.” He told her. Beverly seemed to be half-asleep. “Mmhmm... Why not freshen up a little, too? Have her brush her teeth, it might make her want to go to sleep faster. It’s time for her to sleep anyway.” She told her brother-in-law without opening her eyes.
Kasem nodded, getting Sua to go to the back bathrooms with him and leading her in.
“Na (uncle), I don’t have to go...” Sua told him, slightly rebellious.
Kasem smiled, “We’re brushing our teeth.” He told her, getting an idea. “Stay here.” He commanded Sua, opening the door and checking outside before sneaking back to their seats, going through Sua’s carry-on until he found her pajamas. He brought them back with him, and handed them to Sua, giving her a smile. “You know how to put them on by yourself now, right?”
“Uh-huh.” Sua replied proudly.
“Make sure you lock the door, okay?” Kasem told her, shutting the door for her and holding it shut until he saw her lock it, he stayed right in front of the door, giving a slightly awkward smile to a flight attendant giving him a strange look.
It was only a couple minutes later that the door opened again, and Sua emerged in cute little pink and purple ensemble. “Okay.” She said simply, looking up at her uncle.
Kasem smiled. “Did you brush your teeth?”
“I didn’ wanna use the person’s stuff...” Sua said cutely, and it took Kasem a second to get she was talking about the complimentary toiletries. He laughed, ruffling her hair. He picked her up so she could see everything better, and also so they’d have more room in the tiny bathroom. “This is for everyone to use.” He explained to her, setting her on the sink and grabbing a small, paper cup. “See, we fill this with mouth wash. And we’ll just use that since there’s not a million toothbrushes in here.” He said, making a face as he exaggerated the number. “Now, watch me. You can’t swallow this, okay?”
Sua nodded, intently watching him.
“You swish it around in your mouth, then spit it into the sink, like this.” He explained before showing her how to use the mouthwash, taking her off the sink.
“Okay.” Sua replied, and he poured her a little bit before picking her up and handing her the cup. She did as she was told, and Kasem gave her an enthusiastic high five before carrying out of the bathroom. “Now it’s time for sleep.” He told her.
“I’m not tired.” Sua insisted, pouting at him cutely.
Kasem bit his lip, pretending like he was debating something. “How about this, I’ll pull up my armrest and let you lay down, and if you spend ten minutes trying to go to sleep and you still can’t, I’ll let you wake me up, okay?” He bargained. “But let your mom sleep, she’s tired. Deal?”
“Deal!” Sua agreed, giggling as Kasem pretended to “fly” her into her seat.
It was only a couple minutes later that Kasem peeked an eye open and saw his niece sleeping ever so peacefully on his lap, and he smiled and pushed some hair out of her face.
By the time they arrived in Florida, Kasem felt just as excited as Sua to be on ground again, causing Beverly to just sigh. “Children...” She called out to both of them.
“Come on Beverly! You’re only 23, have some fun!” Kasem tried turning and walking backwards for a bit to face her, hoping to get her more energized by the time they got to the hotel.
“Yeah, I’m a 23 year old widow with a five year old.” Beverly grumbled.
Kasem dropped back a little so he could be walking with her. “Hey now. Be happy. You’re going to have fun. Aren’t you the least bit excited to find out what’s going to happen?” He asked her, nudging her in the side.
“Of course I am. But I just went through a day-long flight. I want nothing more than a bed right now. I’m not even hungry.” She argued.
Kasem looked around once they got to baggage claim, but saw no one, and recalled they’d be the last ones to get in. He found their baggage quickly and pulled it off, carrying both bags (in the end, Sua and Beverly’s clothes were combined) out to get a taxi.
“Oh my gosh ก็เหมือนเราไม่เคยทิ้งประเทศไทย (Oh my gosh, it’s like we never left Thailand).” Kasem groaned once they were outside.
Beverly finally let out a chuckle. “Does that make sense to you?” She giggled, nudging Kasem playfully. She seemed to slowly be getting energy back.
“arai na (what?)” Kasem asked, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.
“Within ten minutes of us being back in America, you’re only speaking Thai again!” She teased him.
Kasem laughed. “ผมคิดว่าผมฮะ (I guess I am, huh)?” He cleared his throat, finally getting a cab. “I don’t know, maybe it’s a weird habit...” He said, finally speaking English, but it only cause Beverly to laugh more. He frowned, “What’s so funny?” He asked her.
“You...” Beverly began, wiping tears from her eyes at how much she was laughing. She got into the cab, trying to speak again but only bursting into a fit of giggles.
Kasem rolled his eyes and took the opportunity to tell the cab driver where to go.
“You’re accent’s back.” Beverly finally gasped in-between giggles.
Kasem blinked, thinking about his last few sentences. “Huh... that is weird...” He mumbled to himself.

Dinnertime

After many hugs, meetings of new cousins among the kids, and mentions of how much everyone missed each other, the families finally all sat down for dinner. Conversations were buzzing about ‘how cute’ the kids were, or ‘how much they missed’ one of the people they hadn’t seen in a while (especially GenShi and Jasmine, who had become friends in college but lost touch after they graduated).
HeuSeoh clinked a glass to get everyone’s attention. “I’ve always wanted to do that.” He began, with a smirk, causing GenShi to hit him. It was obvious she was still frustrated about being blindfolded and carted here. “Ow,” HeuSeoh muttered with a small laugh, jumping away from his sister. “Anyway. Girls, I’m sure you’re wondering why we brought you all here.”
the girls muttered choruses of “yeah”s and “I guess so”s and HeuSeoh only smiled as he looked to all the guys.
“So then, tomorrow, we have something really special.” HeuSeoh said, looking among the kids. “Can anyone tell me what this Sunday is?” He asked.
Devyn raised his hand, and ChoHee was quick to follow.
“Say it together.” He told them with a grin.
“Mother’s Day!” They said, a bit too loud as they got shushed by their respective parents.
“Right!” He looked to Morgan, giving her a sweet smile before looking amongst his siblings and in-laws. “Tomorrow, we all gotta wake up early-”
A couple groans came from Beverly and Kasem’s side of the table, and HeuSeoh looked to them. “I know quite a few of us are jet-lagged. I am too, okay?”
“Then look it...” Junsu grumbled.
“Anyway,” HeuSeoh began again. “Tomorrow, we’re going to the docks to... wait for it... go on a cruise to the Bahamas!” He said, smirking as he got collective gasps, excited squeals, and a general sudden rise in enthusiasm in the group (especially amongst the girls).
“Welcome to the best Mother’s Day you girls will ever get.” He added in, then turned to his own wife. “Morgan, I know I’ve managed to one-up myself a lot in our years together, but I promise you, I have no clue what the heck will top this.” He gave her a pleading look. “So please don’t get your hopes up for something better next year.”
Morgan still looked stunned, stuttering a bit before finally being able to speak. “I... I just can’t believe you did all this. You coordinated it?”
HeuSeoh nodded.
“This is amazing, I love it!”
“I would’ve liked it better knowing you planned it, Eric.” Batari teased her husband.
Beverly looked to Kasem curiously, causing the teen to only smile at her. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?” He asked her.
“How did you make that much money?” Beverly asked him skeptically.
“I sold my kidneys.” Kasem joked, causing him to get hit by Beverly.
“Oh, that felt good. You’re too much of a prankster, you know that.” Beverly muttered, hitting him more.
“I helped, Bev.” Eric told his twin, smiling at her.
Beverly hugged Eric, “How sweet~” She said, giving Eric a big smile and then hugging him again. “I missed you so much!!!” She squealed, burying her face in his shoulder.
“Then move back to Riverside~” Eric tried.
“I can’t. Sua loves her school and she’d be heartbroken if I made her leave her friends now... And I think Kasem would be lost without me still.”
Kasem was smiling until Beverly mentioned him, and he gave Eric his best “pathetic, lost puppy” look.
“Well then at least come visit more often.” Eric bargained, trying to get Beverly off him. “At then you won’t hug me so much.”
“Okay, from now, I’ll try and come visit every summer. Even if it’s an annoyingly long flight.” Beverly agreed. She looked to the table. “Then at least we can visit Chai’s grave once a year...”
“Aaaaand, now we bring out happy talk.” HeuSeoh said, pausing Beverly in her thoughts. He gave her a look that told her the family still missed him too, and then looked around the table. “Anyone?”
“I’m two!” Makenzie said excitedly, causing the table to burst out into laughter (even Beverly), only enhanced when Mason gave his twin sister a look and then spouted out, “Me too!”
“They’re just like we were, aren’t they?” Beverly laughed as she looked to her twin.
Eric gave her a michievous smirk, “Except Mason’s older than Makenzie.” He told her, seeming to still hold some sort of grudge at Beverly getting out of the womb first.
Beverly rolled her eyes, “And I see you haven’t changed at all.” She joked to her brother.
Batari giggled at the two, shaking her her head from behind Eric as if saying ‘nope.’

After a delicious dinner, everyone walked back to the hotel. HeuSeoh stopped at his, Morgan’s, and Ran’s room, letting out a sigh as he looked to the group with a playful glimmer in his eye. “So, are we ready for the adventure of a lifetime?”

[Redeim]

Bugs

Written July 2, 2012

((Set on a random (probably summer) day in Bangkok, Thailand in 2015.))

The rhythm of hurried feet could be heard coming from the kitchen, through the hallway, and... Beverly turned casually, looking to her husband. He had been calling her name frantically the entire time he was running to her.
Beverly and Thongchai had moved to Thailand about a year ago. They had gotten a modest, two bedroom apartment, and ended up housing Kasem, who insisted he finish high school in Thailand. The young couple was going on nineteen, barely married a year, and Beverly was six months pregnant with their first child (who they were happy to hear should not have HIV if they continued taking certain precautions, which Thongchai had been very worried about).
“What is it, Chai?” Beverly asked her husband as he panted to catch his breath.
“There’s...” Thongchai began, eyes wide. He extended his arms to their full reach. “There’s this giant bug in the kitchen... Beverly...” He told her, looking scared.
“So? Kill it.” Beverly replied casually. It took her a good year to get used to the size of the bugs on this tropical country, but she was finally starting to be able to take care of them herself.
“But Beverly~!” Thongchai whined, making a face as he leaned in close to her. “It flies.” He whispered, as if it would hear him and come flying in.
Beverly bit back a laugh as she wondered how exactly she had survived so long with Thongchai being equally afraid of the bugs that lived here.
“Kill it, quickly.” Beverly replied in the same whispered hush.
Thongchai let out an exasperated sigh, “But Beverly!” He whined.
Suddenly, they heard the front door open, and then a plop of a backpack, and then a scream and running towards the room.
“Beverly~~~!!!!!!!” Kasem yelled, skidding into the room and nearly falling in his rush.
“OH MY GOD YOU TWO. I guess I need to be the man in this family huh?” She yelled to them both. Even though she was annoyed at the situation, she couldn't stop the smile spreading across her face. “Move, girls.” She said, shoving Thongchai and Kasem aside. She went into the kitchen and saw it: it was maybe one and half inches long, and seemed to be enjoying its spot on the table, the air conditioner hitting it just enough that it had to fight for its spot back every so often. Beverly rolled her eyes and grabbed the fly swatter, summoning the boys who were watching from the bedroom doorway, and telling them to come closer.
“Watch how a man does it.” Beverly joked. However, that backfired on her.
“I don’t sleep with a man.” Thongchai said suddenly, making a dissatisfied face and causing Beverly to finally let loose the laughter that she was holding back at just how ridiculous this entire situation was. However, her movement finally startled the bug, causing it to fly around a bit and causing all three of them to cry out and retreat to the living room.
Once the bug settled back down, Beverly snuck up to it and smashed it.
“Eww, we eat on that table...” Kasem muttered, sticking out his tongue.
“Then clean it!” Beverly said after she got the bug into the trash, throwing her arms up in frustration. “I’m so done with you two! Kill your own bugs!”
“I killed an ant yesterday.” Thongchai piped up.
“OH MY GOD YOU GUYS ARE BABIES.” Beverly cried out.
“Babies of our family, yup.” Kasem replied snarkily, giving Beverly a cheeky grin.
“UGH!” Beverly cried out, stomping to her’s and Thongchai’s bedroom and slamming the door.
“Was that those mythical ‘pregnancy hormones’ you were talking about pichai (older brother)?” Kasem asked, looking to his brother.
“They are no where near a myth, Kasem.” Thongchai told him, peeking down the hallway as he leaned over the back of the couch.

[Redeim]

Condescending Truth
Written July 13, 2012

((Set around May 26, 2012. Find Aeron’s profile here. Helps to know his past before reading.))

It was a hot spring Saturday morning when Aeron sat down at the table with his coffee cup. This was only unusual because normally Aeron would retreat to his room or the living room after getting his (mid-)morning coffee. He usually never even bothered being social with his mother until at least his second or third cup of coffee, and even then it was usually a simple “morning” and then “do we have any plans today?” So when he sat down, fingering a necklace he seemed quite fond of lately, Ms. Kita was already skeptical.
“Mom...” Aeron began, clearing his throat and then taking a sip of his coffee.
Ms. Kita sat back in her chair, raising an eyebrow to him.
“There’s something I’ve been hiding from you, and it’s about time I told you...” He began, looking anywhere but at his mother.
“Go on, I’m all ears.” Ms. Kita replied simply, proving that even to her most frustrating child, she was still there to listen.
“You remember when we went to Vegas? And... I was left there, but it turned Loreto was also there?”
She nodded, crossing her arms and legs simultaneously.
“It turns out... We kind of... ended up married...” Aeron muttered out, making a show of drinking his coffee as he waited for the barricade of yelling from his mother.
But it didn’t come, and he peeked an eye towards her to see why.
Ms. Kita was looking at him, eyebrows so furrowed it almost looked like a unibrow. “How is that even possible? One, Loreto’s not old enough, and two, gay marriage isn’t legalized in Nevada. I know, I follow these things.” She asked, the last part said ever so matter-of-factly.
Aeron shrugged, setting his coffee cup back on the table. “I... I don’t know. But I even went to the government office. We’re legally married.”
“Some quack wanted your money, I assume.”
“Probably. But it was some quack that knew what he was doing.” Aeron agreed, raising an eyebrow. He felt it was a little ironic this was probably the most civil conversation he’d had with his mother in a long time, and they were talking about the fact that he was the first Kita kid married.
Before either of them could say anything more, the doorbell rang.
“I got it.” Ms. Kita said, getting up before Aeron could even pretend he was interested in getting the door.
Ms. Kita opened the door and could only let out a gasp. “You...” She growled, pulling out her cell phone.
The man at the door held out a meek hand. “Don’t, please. I know I did wrong... You... you proved that in all the trials.” He gave her a weak, albeit true smile. “I’ve served my time, I wanted to come and apologize to... her?”
“He stopped.” Ms. Kita replied coldly, glaring at him. “No thanks to you.” She added in a hiss.
“Him. All I want is to apologize.” The man promised.
“I’m pretty sure Aeron wouldn’t want to see you even if it was at your funeral.” She told him, pretty confident Aeron would use those exact words, if not something like it.
“Please...” The man begged.
Ms. Kita examined him, as if she had mind reading powers that would let her decide if he was telling the truth. Ultimately, he had cleaned up rather well if he really was just released from jail - he was clean shaven, wearing what seemed to be an old, but still well taken of, suit, and had on some shoes that looked used, but not to the point of distaste. “Fine,” She agreed finally, “But you get no ‘private time’ with him. I will be present the entire time. And if he wants you to leave, you will do so with no questions.” She demanded, still not moving aside even though he was about twice her height.
“Deal.” He agreed.
Ms. Kita finally moved aside, giving him a distasteful look as she nudged her head toward the pile of shoes. “Take off your shoes.” She grumbled to him.
He did so, and she peeked her head into the kitchen to check if Aeron was still there. He was, though he had moved to get his second cup of coffee. Ms. Kita bit her lip, waiting until he had set both the coffee pot and his mug down before making her presence known again.
Aeron looked over to her, resting his elbows on the counter. “Who was at the door?” He asked his mother curiously.
“About that...” Ms. Kita replied, giving him an apologetic look before stepping aside to let the man show his face.
Before they could even blink, Aeron had a kitchen knife in his hands. “What the hell is he doing here?!” He yelled to his mother, not taking his eyes off the man.
“I wanted to apologize.”
“I don’t want your fucking apology, you sick bastard. You ruined my fucking life!” Aeron growled to him, yelling by the end.
“Please, just listen...” The man begged, he took a step closer, but instantly froze as the knife was thrown at him, missing him and narrowly missing the family’s dog, Haru.
“Aeron!” Ms. Kita scolded him, but knew it was pretty rational for him to be feeling so defensive.
“Mom, how could you? I trusted you!” He asked, and Ms. Kita noticed he had tears in his eyes.
“Aeron, if you want him to leave, he will. All he wanted to do was apologize.”
“You can’t apologize for raping someone! You know what you did to me!” He told his mother, glaring and growling to his old teacher as he said the second part.
“I was a sick man and I’ve seen the error of my ways.” The ex-teacher promised him. “I wanted the peace of being able to say I’m sorry. That’s why I came to find you.” He explained.
“PEACE?!” Aeron yelled, the tears falling now. “And how much peace do you think I have? How could you do that to an eleven year old?” He asked him, hands balled into fists.
“Like I said, I was sick...” His teacher attempt to explain, looking to the floor.
“So I fucking dressed differently. No one else cared. Only you. And then you followed me. You didn’t let me transfer to a new classroom. You wanted to hurt me. Fuck you!” Aeron said, crying as he listed everything the man had done to him.
Ms. Kita remained silent, ready to step in if it got too out of hand. After all, this was the first time she had seen Aeron so vulnerable, yet also so willing to talk about what had happened to him seven years ago. She didn’t even bother to do her usual routine of stopping him from swearing. Thongchai was sleeping upstairs, and Kasem was at the park with Batari and Zhi, there was no one she needed to stop from hearing the swear words. There was also no one to be able to tease Aeron later about crying.
“I did, I won’t lie. But like I said, I’ve changed. I’m not asking to come back and be your teacher now-”
“I’m not even in fucking school anymore.” Aeron interrupted with an almost evil smile.
“-All I’m asking for is for you to understand I’m truly sorry for what I did, and I hope one day, whether it be now, ten years from now, on your deathbed, or in the afterlife, you eventually forgive me.”
“I can forgive you right now if it will make you leave. Doesn’t mean I won’t forget what you did.” Aeron growled to him.
“I understand that.”
“Do you? Every. Fucking. Day, I’m haunted by what you did to a helpless child. Do you think about it everyday? Do you ever have to wonder what kind of fucked up person would hurt someone else so badly? Just because they were different? Was it so wrong I was comfortable as a girl?” Aeron asked, motioning to his body, still slender and woman-like, although it was now covered in a men’s black tanktop and some skinny jeans rather than a dress or blouse and skirt. “Because apparently it offended you so fucking much you wanted to fuck it straight. Was that it?” Aeron growled, still lingering near the other knives. “What you said still plays on repeat in my head. But now I take it apart and see what makes sense. I’m so fucking sick. Do you remember what you told me?”
Ms. Kita debated stopping Aeron from practically driving this poor guy off a cliff, but a part of her felt he deserved it, while another part of was still intrigued about Aeron finally talking about it, finally getting all the weight off his shoulders.
“If I want to be a girl, why not just take it like one?” Aeron continued, and his teacher looked up to him as if attempting to stop him. “Shut up.” Aeron said before the man could even say anything. “I have every right to call the fucking cops right now because you’re in violation of a restraining order. So shut the hell up.”
“I think about it often.” The ex-teacher replied weakly, softly.
Aeron let out a sardonic laugh and rolled his eyes. “Lucky you!” He told the man. “At least you get some peace from it! That’s what you want, right? Is peace of mind? Have your fucking peace of mind and get the hell out of this house.” He ordered.
Ms. Kita could tell he was still very defensive being around his old teacher.
The man looked to her, as if asking if that was the signal he should leave, and she nodded. “Forgive me if I don’t show you out, but I have to attend to my son.” She told him coldly, though not nearly as harshly as when he first showed up.
The man nodded and left. It wasn’t until the front door was shut that Aeron collapsed to the floor, hiding his face in his knees in an attempt to hide the fact he was nearly sobbing. Ms. Kita went over to him, but wasn’t sure if he wanted to be touched at the moment.
“How could you do that to me..?” Aeron asked, muffled through sobs.
“I think you needed to hear it.” Ms. Kita replied softly, sitting down next to him.
“I would’ve been perfectly fine never seeing him again!” Aeron growled, banging a fist against the floor.
“Really? This was the first time I’ve seen you cry about it, Aeron.” Ms. Kita told him, her tone still soft, worried about her son. “The first time I’ve heard even a part of what actually happened.”
“What do you mean? You know what happened.” Aeron said, turning his head to look towards his mother. “He followed me through grades, verbally abusing me until he knew I wouldn’t be there anymore, then fucking raped me and beat me. What more is there to know?”
“It’s more than just that Aeron. Just like... I can’t understand the pain you were put through unless you tell me. I suspected you had nightmares, but I didn’t know it still haunted you every day. You don’t think talking about it or even just getting some sort of comfort wouldn’t be helpful?”
“It sounds like you want to bring me to a fucking shrink again...” Aeron grumbled.
“No, that’s not what I’m saying. It would be nice, but I can see you still don’t like the idea.” Ms. Kita explained simply.
“Then what do you mean?” Aeron asked, sniffling a little as he tried to stop his crying.
“The way you just acted shows me you can’t forgive him, ever at this point. You’re still terrified of him.” She told him, finally reaching out and rubbing his back.
“It still hurts... The nightmares don’t go away... How can I forget?” Aeron asked, tears falling again as he quickly brushed them away. “It’s like my mind won’t let me.”
“Even though it may be difficult, forgiving him is a big step to moving on.” Ms. Kita replied.
Aeron tilted his head back, resting it on the cabinets behind him. “How can I do that? I feel like..” His voice faded off, and he seemed frozen in motion as he realized something. “I wonder if it hadn’t happened, where would Loreto and I be in our relationship right now?”
“Probably not married.” Ms. Kita interjected, not having forgotten about what Aeron told her not even seconds before all the drama had occurred.
Aeron smirked. “I... I just mean right now it’s difficult to let myself get close to him.. to.. anyone... because I’m scared.” He admitted.
Ms. Kita was fighting back the urge to just sarcastically tell him “duh” or “I noticed,” instead biting her bottom lip and letting him vent.
Aeron seemed speechless now, or done with his ranting, or most likely done showing his weaker side. He wiped away his tears and took a deep breath, wrapping his arms around his legs as he remained on the ground for a bit. He looked to his mother, or rather glared to her, “If you tell anyone about what conspired here...” He seemed to threaten.
Ms. Kita held up her hands, standing up and beginning to continue on with her morning routine. “My lips are sealed, no need to threaten.” She told him simply, then paused and looked over to him. “In fact. What are we even talking about?”
Aeron glowered at her a little longer before standing up and returning to fixing his coffee.
“By the way, how did you and Loreto even end up married in the first place? How many drinks did it take for him to convince you?” She asked curiously, making it seem like a totally normal occurrence.
“I think... I might have suggested it.. But I still don’t remember what happened that night so...” Aeron explained, attempting to hide the blush from admitting it was probably him that suggested they get married.
“Do you think you two...?” Ms. Kita asked mischeviously, and Aeron didn’t have to look at her to know what she was suggesting.
He let hair fall around his face in an attempt to hide blush forming on his cheeks, but he felt it was practically glowing, “Oh my god, mom, no.” Aeron growled to her.
“Are you sure, you just said you don’t remember that night.” Ms. Kita argued.
“I think I, of all people, would know if we had sex.” Aeron argued, having spent plenty of nights during his early high school years ending up in some guy’s bed after a night at the club.
“Alright, alright. Sit down and calm down. Drink coffee. A lot’s probably going through your head right now. Is there anything else you want to tell me?” Ms. Kita said, patting the spot next to her Aeron was sitting at earlier.
“No.” Aeron replied, sitting down and sipping on his coffee, making a face as it had gotten cold from the neglect during all the drama.
Ms. Kita looked to her son, letting out a sigh. In due time... She thought assuringly, realizing this occurrence seemed bring out a softer side to Aeron, even if it wasn’t totally noticeable yet.
Aeron pulled out his phone, going to his text messaging, and Ms. Kita couldn’t help but notice it was to Loreto (or was Aeron letting me see who he’s contacting? She wondered.), and he began writing a message..
“You realize this means he’ll need an official initiation into the family.” Ms. Kita teased her son.
“You realize I wouldn’t be there.” Aeron argued, pausing his text.
“Well, what better way to make it official?” Ms. Kita teased.
Aeron made a face as if saying ’ha ha, very funny’ before completing the text and sending it.
Ms. Kita smiled as she also got to see what the text said.
Hey, are you free? I need to talk to you about something, and I wants lo~ts of coffee. ;)