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Post by Tiff on Feb 16, 2011 19:05:02 GMT -5
Monte sat in the center of the cafeteria at a table all by himself, it was beginning to warm up outside, but he was shrouded by his black North Ridge Baseball hood with his last name across his shoulders, the hood pulled down over his eyes, his earbuds stuck in each ear, the volume turned all the way up, his head sitting on the edge table, an untouched meal inches away. You couldn't tell what he was doing, unless you stuck your head right underneath the table and watched as he periodically touched the screen of his iPod to keep the image he was staring at from going black. He ran his finger over Aya's face, and swore at himself for letting it change the picture of him and Serena acting silly for the camera. He wondered if he would feel better if he let the tears that kept threatening to spill from his eyes run, but he had too much pride to let that happen, and especially not in the middle of a cafeteria filled with kids he hardly knew. He could hear Garret, his new team mate rattling off the reason's why he was in detention. He tried to tune the arrogant prick out, but he couldn't and to make things worse, he was thinking about how he'd tried to keep himself out of detention for Aya.
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Post by kristay on Feb 16, 2011 19:36:03 GMT -5
Aya had been looking around, wondering why the lunch crowd had dramatically decreased from the last time she had eaten there. It was good for her though because she was looking for a certain Mondego she wanted to talk to. She wanted—no she needed to explain. She noticed the familiar North Ridge hoodie that seemed to shroud the entire body of a boy and her heart skipped a beat when she noticed the name printed on the back. There you are… She walked over to him, running her fingers nervously through her short hair as she made her way to him. She slid into the seat opposite him and lay her head down on the table so she could see his eyes. “Hey you… D-do you mind if we talk?” She would completely understand if he said no; her family had given him so much grief already and she didn’t even have the right to be sitting there in front of him but she needed to tell him that she still loved him and always would even if it wasn’t them and that she understood.
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Post by Tiff on Feb 16, 2011 20:01:53 GMT -5
Monte jumped, almost completely out of his seat when Aya spoke to him, he hadn't even noticed her walking up, too busy staring at the picture of the second girl he was sure he would have loved, sticking her tongue out at him. He wasn't sure what how he wanted to respond to her question. He lifted his head and glanced around the lunchroom, looking for any sign of Serena, then nodded. He wanted to be around Aya, he wanted to talk to her, but he didn't want to piss Serena off anymore, he wasn't an idiot, he had more of an opportunity for Serena to forgive and forget what happened than ever getting back with Aya, and him sitting with Aya and talking was a sure fire way to get Serena to leave him and never talk to him again. "Nice performance." He muttered, pulling the earbuds out of his ears.
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Post by kristay on Feb 16, 2011 20:07:40 GMT -5
Aya blushed at what he said and she shook her head a bit ruefully. "I only wrote the song really, it was my family who pushed me to sing; I'd never be as good as Ser anyway. Speaking of which, I'm really sorry about Kai. I wanted to kill him for bothering you guys!" Aya blew out an exasperated breath as she tried a tiny smile. She wanted to reach out and touch him but she wasn't sure that was allowed anymore. "You know I love you right? I always will." And that was the truth, there would always be a special place in Aya's heart for Monte. She shrugged her shoulders lightly. "But it didn't work out and that made me really sad." She had always thought it would be them, till... well till forever really. "It wasn't anyone's fault, not yours and not mine. My family doesn't seem to understand that no one should be blamed but I do and I'm begging you not to feel bad about it." She shook her head again. She wasn't sure what he was thinking anymore.
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Post by Tiff on Feb 16, 2011 20:28:28 GMT -5
Monte couldn't meet her eyes as she spoke to him and even when it was his turn to say something, he couldn't bare to look her in the eyes, he looked completely away from her and began. "I...." But he couldn't tell her that he was being sarcastic, sure she had a beautiful singing voice, it was the words of the song that had torn him limb from limb. "You have a beautiful singing voice, I didn't know." His voice was cracking all over the place, here she was perfectly put together and he was falling apart piece by piece. "He didn't bother me." He lied, technically he wasn't lying, but if Kai hadn't come up to him at that moment he might have got Serena out of there and maybe got some sense knocked into his head to mention Aya's reappearance to her before another run in could occur. "He was just doing his big brother duty. Sorry I broke you." He couldn't keep the pain out of his voice, even if he tried, it would be a losing battle. "I didn't mean it." That tightening of the chest he'd been experiencing at the park came rushing back and he fought desperately to keep it at bay. "I need you to stop saying those words to me, all of them, I'm going to lose Serena because you're words resonate in my head and make me remember that I love you too. It makes me furious that it didn't work out, that fate had to step in and fuck everything up and you're right, no one is to blame and unfortunately I can't stop beating myself up for losing hope and then finding it again in someone else so that when you came back I'd be able to claim you again."
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Post by kristay on Feb 17, 2011 2:16:22 GMT -5
Aya couldn't take it anymore. She reached out for his hand and held it, her breath held at the fear that he would pull away in horror. "Hey, let's get out of here... We... we can't talk properly like this." Shaking her head, she pulled at his hand and practically dragged him out of the cafeteria, probably startling Garret and the rest of the baseball team as she led the way to the roof. The place had been an escape to her since she had found it and even realized that she needed an escape. Once they were on top, she shut the door and released his hand. "Sorry, I don't even know if this will make things worse." Her resolve crumbled and she turned away as she felt the tears rush to the surface. She thought she could be strong in telling him that she'd be okay. But how do you tell someone a lie like that? She wouldn't be okay without him for a long time. Yes, she wanted to start a relationship with someone else but... Monte would forever be someone she would love and hold dear. Nothing could change that fact for her. "I'm sorry if you think I should stop saying those things Monte... But I can't... It's just, it's not going to work that way." She laughed softly and it sounded hollow even to herself. Aya turned to face him again, her bottom lip quivering as tears threatened to spill down her pale cheeks. "Would you hate me if I hugged you right now?" She knew it was against the rules, God she knew. But she wanted it so badly, just to feel his embrace, his arms engulf her entire being... She wanted to feel like nothing had ever happened and it was still the two of them, even if it was just for a minute she wanted to feel that again.
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Post by Tiff on Feb 17, 2011 14:31:34 GMT -5
Monte was a puppet, anyone could have pulled him to the roof of the school. He stood in the sun and continued to stare at his feet. "It can't make things much worse than they already are." He mumbled, walking to the edge of the roof and staring out over the grounds. He ran his fingers over the place where her hand had been, wishing the warmth of her hand were back there again. "You think you could try? Tell yourself all you want Ayame, but keep it to yourself when you're around me or people who will flip out about it." He turned and finally met her eyes. "I'm losing her." He said, briefly looking down at the ground, then back up. "I lost you and now I'm losing her and you know me, I'm not good with words, I say things that are unintentionally hurtful." He looked away when she asked if she could hug him. He wanted to, his body hungered for her, but wouldn't holding her make things worse. His troubled thoughts were etched across his face and settled deep in his eyes. "No, I wouldn't..."
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Post by kristay on Feb 18, 2011 1:39:52 GMT -5
Aya felt annoyed that the Monte in front of her was changed; so helpless and weak. He wasn't the one she loved, not the one she had left and definitely not the one she cared about. She put her hands on his broad shoulders and tried to look him straight in the eyes as the tears disappeared and she set her face into a glare. "Monte, not saying it is not going to make it go away. I love you. You love me. That's a truth that shouldn't be denied but understood." She knew it was against the rules but she softened and lightly caressed his cheek. "You think I'm not sad that it's not us? I hate it and it crushed me and up to now it still hurts to think about. But I don't blame you for finding Serena, and I'm happy you found her silly." She laughed a bit and even to her own ears it sounded empty. "I want you to be happy Monte. Even if it's not with me, even if it's with her... Just as long as you're happy."
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Post by Tiff on Feb 18, 2011 1:52:01 GMT -5
Monte felt the twinge of a smile form on his lips as her arms came around him. He turned his face into her lightly caressing hand and the twinge turned into a small smile as his eyes closed. He was listening to her, but he was imagining that time had turned around and gone backward, but he opened his eyes and time hadn't gone backward at all. "You didn't tell me about your new friend..." He couldn't stand how accusatory it sounded and to make things ten times worse, he felt his old self pulling to the surface, he was ready to simply kiss her, he and Serena weren't an item yet, she'd said no to it at the beginning and now he wasn't even sure she'd agree to it if he asked. So technically kissing her wouldn't be a cheating on Serena, though that water was so murky and he had a hunch that Aya wouldn't go for it. "I'm not happy right now, Aya..." He mumbled. "Are you?"
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Post by kristay on Feb 18, 2011 2:02:47 GMT -5
She rested her face against his back, her cheek brushing against the Mondego printed on the hoodie. "I hurt everywhere. I wake up and I feel dried tears on my face and I wonder when I started crying and I realized it was because of dreams and I knew that those dreams could never come true. I miss you Monte. Miss you so much that it hurts to think about." Aya didn't talk about Dan, she couldn't. It made her feel guilty, as if she had rushed into another relationship to fill the empty spaces that Monte left behind. That's what she had been afraid of and testing it with Dan, she was afraid she'd just hurt him and she didn't want to hurt him because she cared about him a lot.
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Post by Tiff on Feb 18, 2011 2:15:25 GMT -5
Monte licked his lips and shook his head, breaking away from her, he turned and collected her around the waist, pulling her closer to him, his hand coming up to rest on the back of her head. "I don't want you to hurt." He kissed her forehead and then rested his cheek there. "You hurt enough..." He was talking about the medical condition she'd suffered from. "Is he going to make you happy? Is he good enough to make me disappear?" It hurt to utter those words, but maybe if they forgot one another life would be easier. "Avery is going to basic soon and when he comes back I might go home." This was all new to him, but maybe it would be better if he and Aya weren't around one another to remind them about the what if factor. "Serena won't make me forget you."
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Post by kristay on Feb 18, 2011 2:22:00 GMT -5
Aya sighed softly, resigned to the fact that he didn't want her to touch him but was surprised when he wrapped his arms around her and held her close. Her eyes fell shut and she tightened her embrace, winding her arms around his neck as she basked in the warmth they shared. "You're never going to disappear; I've accepted that. I'll always love you and even if that's going to hurt me, I want that feeling to stay inside me forever. You're too important to me just to disappear Monte." She glanced at him. "Dan's not replacing you; he's a great person and I think I care about him but no one's replacing you. You'll always be special to me." She tried her hand at a tiny smile. "No I didn't think she would but... You don't have to forget me you know... Think of our time together as something to look back on and smile at." She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't want us to meet and ignore each other; I want to be someone in your life, anyone in your life..." She sounded desperate but she didn't care anymore. "Someone you can tell anything to, someone you can talk to about anything... Avery, Serena, anything. I'm here for you Monte, don't you know that?"
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Post by Tiff on Feb 18, 2011 2:33:07 GMT -5
I'm going to disappear and in the event Serena wants me back she's not going to let me, Aya, she'll see you as threat, I'm sure. "I want you to be, I want to know it." He let his hand drift up to her hair and then it slipped gently down her neck in a caressing manner. "Wouldn't it be easier to ignore one another?" He asked. "Dan,..." It was like a curse word on his tongue. "isn't going to like me being around, I assume he knows of your feelings toward me.." He raised an eyebrow and his fingers played lightly on her neck again.
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Post by kristay on Feb 18, 2011 2:38:51 GMT -5
A soft sigh escaped her lips of its own accord as she savored the way his fingers played with her hair. Her head dropped to his chest and she took the time to reply so she could just revel in the way he held her; it would probably be the last time they could do it. "I-I know... It's not fair, I still want to be a part of your life Monte." Danian, she thought about him and she wondered if he'd get angry at her that she wanted to be someone in Monte's life. Was that a bad thing though? To be someone Monte could talk to? The boy was alone, save for Serena who was mad at him and Avery who was leaving soon. She looked at him stubbornly, her bottom lip sticking out as she subconsciously pouted. "I'll make him understand."
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Post by Tiff on Feb 18, 2011 2:46:43 GMT -5
Monte chuckled, his fingers still playing across her neck, his other hand itching to move from her waist. "Could you make Serena understand for me too?" She had the best way of making him feel good without even trying, that stubborn look, the way she said she'd make someone do something no matter how much they didn't want it. "There isn't a possibility for us...right?" He wanted to plead, her song had said it all, he just didn't want it to be true, he loved her, he wanted her back completely. "I'm sorry." He licked his bottom lip again and stared down into her eyes, wishing he could kiss her and convince her. "Guess who is pregnant." He made an attempt at something positive, though he was sure he'd switch back to them, later.
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