Déjà vu
Script Writer
All over again.
Posts: 106
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Post by Déjà vu on Mar 7, 2011 21:43:51 GMT -5
Wes listened to her explain how they'd been split up, and nodded his head when she said she didn't think she could stand that. "I'm sorry."
He couldn't figure her emotions out just now, even as hard as he was trying. Part of him had anticipated her words about him not really being there, though, because he felt it himself. He just didn't want them to have to miss each other anymore. She did have a right to be mad, though, didn't she?
You know who I am, Wes thought, but he couldn't argue with anything else Alegrah was saying. He also couldn't pretend much longer that he was okay -- okay with this, okay emotionally...okay that she could speak one sentence and make it come out sounding like she hated his guts. I'm sorry.... At least she tried to soften the blow.
"I know," he said quietly, as he took cautious steps toward her, "I know." Wes reached his hands around her, letting them come together lightly as he spoke. "If I touch you, though, Alegrah," his hands had settled on her neck, "I don't think that I can possibly keep from kissing you." He brushed her hair slightly to the side. "And if I kiss you," he added, putting his hand back, "you're probably going to slap me, or kick me in the nuts, and then start yelling. Am I wrong?" His breath was about an inch from her lips. Please tell me I'm wrong.
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Post by Kelli-wa on Mar 7, 2011 22:54:55 GMT -5
Alegrah watched him as he stepped closer to her. I know, he said. She didn't know what to do, but she was paralyzed. None of her emotions were making sense to her. Usually she was pretty good at holding onto herself but today was different. Today was different even when the day her mom had died. She didn't cry that day at the funeral, she'd only let herself become vulnerable when she was alone in the bathroom afterward.
Now, though, his hands were reaching around her and her heart was beating a little faster as he came even closer to her and spoke again. She listened to him explain why he was being so cautious. She watched his eyes as he told her of what he was worried about and she shook her head. The truth was, she didn't know how she would feel. She knew that her brain would tell her to do exactly what he just said that she would, but every other part of her body would fight against her sensible thoughts and kiss him right back. She just wasn't sure which side of her would win in the end. She opened her mouth and glanced to his lips but then back up to his eyes, "I don't know." Is it worth that small risk that I hit you?
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Déjà vu
Script Writer
All over again.
Posts: 106
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Post by Déjà vu on Mar 8, 2011 0:43:16 GMT -5
Wes gazed into her eyes, caught in that moment, waiting for her to speak her mind, to tell him off, to refuse him, to...say something, anything at all. I don't know, she said finally. She hadn't said no. He counted to three, then leaned in that last little bit, kissing first her top lip, then the bottom one, not sure when she might pull away. He kissed her softly, searching for a response, any at all, as his fingertips traveled down the back of her spine. He glanced once more to her eyes, to make sure she wasn't upset, almost pulling back entirely, but then kissing her more deeply. Wes pulled back too soon for his taste. It had been too long since his lips had grazed her flesh, her lips, since his tongue had slipped gently past her teeth, but that didn't give him the right to take advantage. Are you going to slap me? "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be..." I should let you collect your emotions. Sure, I'm vulnerable, too, but I can take it. I can deal with a kiss and a punch in the same thirty seconds. "Alegrah..."
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Post by Kelli-wa on Mar 8, 2011 8:20:56 GMT -5
Alegrah felt his kiss on her lips and she froze. She didn't know exactly what to do, but the second kiss she recieved, she returned, kissing him back. She let her hand slide to his cheek and she kissed him hard. As he pulled away she looked up and her arms went limp. She didn't move even when he gave her a more definite kiss. As he pulled away for the second time she looked at him, a tear escaped from the corner of her eye. "I'm sorry, this is ridiculous." She tried to wipe it away but that just made more fall. "Damn it, I just, I love you Wes but this is so hard to comprehend. What do you want?" she asked.
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Déjà vu
Script Writer
All over again.
Posts: 106
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Post by Déjà vu on Mar 8, 2011 22:17:43 GMT -5
The tears on her face broke Wesley's heart, especially coupled with the way she'd fallen limp a moment ago. "No, I'm sorry," he muttered. Her next sentence confused him a little, but clearly she was just as confused as he was. "I don't know. I just...this whole going somewhere to talk idea isn't really working, is it?" He gave a half-hearted laugh, because he didn't know how else to respond. Wes realized he was still holding her, and he slowly slid his hands off of her body and let them rest at his sides. I want you, I guess. I want you to be here, loving me, the way I love you. I want you to be uninvolved months from now when I can actually see you all the time and be with you. I want to be a year older, so that half a year ago, I could have stayed here with you rather than leaving and complicating everything... "I don't know," he repeated. "I want...everything. And nothing." I don't want to take any more from you. How could he possibly explain to her everything he wanted, everything he was feeling, without her finding something to take offense at?
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Post by Kelli-wa on Mar 8, 2011 23:26:50 GMT -5
Alegrah felt herself draw in three quick, short breaths. She didn't want to be crying right now and his kissing her shouldn't have brought it on. She couldn't figure out what she wanted either. This all seemed pointless. Neither of them knew what they were going to talk about or where they were going, but they couldn't just act like everything was perfectly fine. She let out a sigh and shook her head, "I guess it isn't," she said lightly. She listened to him as he sort of told her what he wanted, but he didn't know what he wanted really. "That's how I'm thinking too. I want all of you and I want to be normal with you, but I don't want you to leave again. It'll just hurt more…" She shook her head and sighed, wishing he would just hold her again. As if out of habit she reached forward and took his hand in hers, just lightly squeezing, more to comfort herself than him. "I just don't understand what I'm thinking…"
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Déjà vu
Script Writer
All over again.
Posts: 106
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Post by Déjà vu on Mar 9, 2011 21:17:02 GMT -5
Wes listened to her, and nodded slightly. How can we possibly want each other so badly, yet be so hesitant to be together? he asked himself, but he supposed he knew. He wanted them to be close companions; he did not just want a physical relationship. "I'm sorry," he breathed, then spoke up. "I can't exactly just quit classes and stay here, so yeah, I'll have to leave. I...I didn't mean to run into you. I didn't even plan to spend a day in this town. I didn't want to make this any harder on you, Alegrah, and I had sort of hoped that maybe you'd moved on." He hadn't really, but had presumed that she would have, and part of him had hoped that she hadn't. He wasn't hoping now that she had moved on, of course, but he felt awful for it. There was no good reason why he should have her for himself. I don't exactly deserve her.
When she took his hand, Wes was surprised, but he squeezed it back, and started to walk in the direction they'd been going, though he didn't know where their destination might have been, or if it was still the same. His phone beeped, indicating a text message, but he ignored it. "I know. I wish this weren't so confusing."
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Post by Kelli-wa on Mar 9, 2011 22:30:10 GMT -5
Alegrah watched him as he seemed to be thinking, but the words he spoke weren't exactly the ones she wanted to hear. Of course she knew that he had to go back and take classes, she wasn't stupid, but then when he ended his sentence she furrowed her brow. "Excuse me?" she asked, looking at him. She pulled her hand away from him now. "So what are we even doing here, Wes? If you 'hoped I'd moved on' then why are you blowing off your friends to talk to me. Hoping to let me down easy? You are dating her, aren't you? That's why she hollered for you when we left." She shook her head angrily and locked her jaw, "I hope you're happy with her. Not only did you desert me, but you're lying to me now too." She turned around and started to walk away, as far as she was concerned, she was done. If he wanted her to move on, she'd do it, she'd do it as soon as possible, even if she didn't even like the guy she met at the club tonight. That's right, she was already concocting her game plan for that night, wanting to get back at him, even if he couldn't see.
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Déjà vu
Script Writer
All over again.
Posts: 106
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Post by Déjà vu on Mar 9, 2011 22:45:08 GMT -5
What are we doing here? How would I know? "Why am I -- why am I here? Because I want to talk this through with you? Because I love you? Because -- Alegrah, what the hell?" he screamed as she rushed off. His heart was beating frantically and he started running his hand through his hair and speaking, unable to get his words out fast enough. "That's not the case at all! I just wouldn't have to feel like such a dick if you'd moved on. I knew I couldn't say anything I was thinking out loud. I don't know how to phrase things. Come on, you've just been waiting to pick a fight with me, and you know it." Wes started walking, or rather, running, after her. "I wouldn't lie to you!" he said, still yelling, not comprehending why this was not obvious to her.
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Post by Kelli-wa on Mar 9, 2011 23:09:38 GMT -5
She was so angry she could barely even hear what he was saying. Her ears almost didn't pick anything up, none of this was making sense to her. "Oh, do you? You still love me?" she asked, turning around and glaring at him. "Can you blame me for wanting to pick a fight? You didn't call me Wes, you didn't send me a text a letter! Not even like an e-mail. I don't even deserve a message on Facebook or something? Shit, you must love me a whole lot!" She put her hands on her hips. "Oh, you wouldn't lie to me? Did you even notice that she called you Wesley? Because every time I say Wesley you bite my head off and tell me that it's Wes. I know that probably doesn't mean anything to you, because you're a boy, but I see something in that, alright?" She felt the tear fall from her eye and she looked away from him, wiping the tear away from her eye, not wanting him to see her being affected by this.
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Déjà vu
Script Writer
All over again.
Posts: 106
|
Post by Déjà vu on Mar 10, 2011 0:10:46 GMT -5
Yes, I do! he screamed inside his head, but her sarcastic tone didn't exactly warrant an answer. "Yeah, it sounds really bad. It is really bad, and no, I can't blame you for wanting to pick a fight." It's not as though I ever check my e-mail, or get on Facebook, anyway. "I'd ask you to see it from my perspective, but we've kind of been over this. I didn't know what to say, and I was afraid to say the wrong thing, and you hadn't contacted me either, and yes, I'm terrible, because it was my responsibility." He, too, was now fighting back tears as he felt that familiar stinging sensation in his nostrils.
"What? What has that to do with me telling the truth?" No, he hadn't, actually, not this time, because he'd been too focused on Alegrah. "I've tried telling her not to, but she doesn't listen. She likes thinking of my mom, and doesn't understand why calling me that is a problem." Wes concluded that it probably wouldn't be a good idea to mention that Meredith had practically just learned to talk when they'd gotten to know one another, although even that was a slight exaggeration. "You think I like hearing my mother's words and tone of voice from her mouth? You've gotta be kidding me." Wes pulled off his jacket and threw it to the ground, because he was hot, and upset, and he wouldn't dream of taking it out on her, so he had to displace his anger somewhere. If he didn't get his anger under better control, he might get a broken hand from punching another tree.
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Post by Kelli-wa on Mar 10, 2011 0:28:43 GMT -5
Alegrah shook her head, "Yeah, Wes, I didn't call you, because you know, I didn't want to be that girl that just keeps calling you and calling you. Typically I would see you somewhere, but it was just like you disappeared, alright? I just didn't want to be rejected if you'd changed your mind about me. About everything…" She swallowed her tears and looked at him, her jaw locking again. Looking at him just made everything harder, especially with the face he had on right at that second.
"Well, first of all if she's calling you Wesley then you must be official, because you would never let me call you that. I thought we were close, but then again, you never really asked me if I'd be your girlfriend. Ever. I had to step around words and find one that fit you, but none did besides boyfriend and I couldn't call you that because you weren't my boyfriend. You were just some guy who I'd had sex with several times and fell in love with." She shook her head. "But that girl doesn't get to call you Wesley, just the girl that you grew up with that you've wanted all along. She can call you that." She turned away a bit as he started to explain why she called him that. Then she felt horrible. Obviously that had always been the reason he hadn't wanted to be called that. She'd never known that, and for some reason that made her sad. Maybe they weren't as close as she'd thought they were. She sighed heavily and picked his discarded jacket up off the ground. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I didn't know that. You never told me that. I wouldn't have accused you of that had I known, Wes. I just. I don't know what to think anymore. I'm lost."
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Déjà vu
Script Writer
All over again.
Posts: 106
|
Post by Déjà vu on Mar 10, 2011 19:15:34 GMT -5
"I wasn't sure if we'd be coming back soon when we first left, so I just wasn't going to say anything if we did. And when you didn't ask after me...whatever, it's in the past. But I thought you had realized we'd all left. I would've picked up, you know. Every time." About everything. Wes wondered what she meant by that, but his heart leaped at the idea that she'd thought they might have a future together, before he shook the thought off and tried to remind himself he didn't like commitments. Sure, you do, one part of him said. The thing he didn't like was disappointing people, and he did that all too often.
Wes tried to get a sentence, or even a couple words in about Meredith not being his girlfriend, but Alegrah seemed adamant on criticizing him for the hypothetical act of being with her. She can call you that, Alegrah said, and it stung, but he started an explanation, sounding about as mad as she was, and against his efforts, sounding hurt as well.
He was a little puzzled, and still on the defensive when she picked his jacket up for him, apologizing, and he held out a hand to take it back. "I thought I had. I tell you pretty much everything, so I guess I just sort of forgot I hadn't told you that." He typically dismissed the title pretty quickly when she called him Wesley, so that was probably why he'd never given an explanation. He pulled the jacket in to his body, already expecting her to lash out again, though he wasn't sure why. Wes then realized that his face was wet with tears he hadn't remembered crying, and pulled his hand across his face. Feeling drops of water on his head as well, he looked around him and understood that it had started to rain. "Come on, let's get inside somewhere," he said, gently taking her arm and looking for a nearby shop they could enter. I'm lost, too.
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Post by Kelli-wa on Mar 10, 2011 20:48:50 GMT -5
Alegrah swallowed hard, I would've picked up, you know. Every time. She sighed and shook her head, "Yeah, but how could I have known that? I've already been rejected too many times. I didn't want that again. As far as I know you were going to FedEx a bear to me and leave me crying in a heap. What if I called and you just hung up, or worse, told me you didn't want me anymore? I know it's ridiculous, you don't have to tell me that, but I can't think rationally when I'm alone..." She let out a quick sob, but composed herself and gave him a smile, "I can't think rationally while I'm with you, how would I ever think rationally by myself?"
Nodding at his explanation, Alegrah sighed. She hadn't wanted this to be this way. She'd wanted them to forget everything and be the same as they were before. The wounds were there now, however and Alegrah Smith was apparently not good at forgetting. He said they should move inside and she looked up, only noticing it had been raining at that moment. She wondered how long it had actually been raining. "I think the universe is trying to tell us not to fight..." She sighed and looked at the ground as they walked toward a nearby shop, they hadn't been that far from the shopping district and she knew the town by now. They turned out to be in some sort of furnature store, and she moved away from him a little, trying to bypass the sales clerk so they wouldn't be questioned.
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Déjà vu
Script Writer
All over again.
Posts: 106
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Post by Déjà vu on Mar 10, 2011 21:17:17 GMT -5
As far as I knew, you were going to FedEx a bear to me and leave me crying in a heap. That was certainly a slap in the face. Wes felt extremely insensitive. As if what he'd done wasn't already bad enough, her abandonment issues multiplied the atrocity tenfold. Wes almost moved to support her when she let out a sob, but hesitated, and she was quick to compose herself, so he stayed where he was. The smile hurt, because it seemed forced, but he smiled almost obligingly at her words. "Yeah, because my wonderful frontal lobe development really helps with rationality," he said, rolling his eyes. It would be a while before he was able to make responsible decisions.
"I guess I'm up for not fighting," said Wes. It was too exhausting. He turned into the first shop they reached, slightly annoyed that it was a furniture store, because the clerks tended to never leave potential buyers alone, so infrequent was business. Wes followed her lead when she made her way toward the back of the store. "Do you have any shows this week? Since I'm here, I'd love to see one, if possible."
Sorry it's sort of short.
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