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Post by Tori on Apr 25, 2012 21:41:56 GMT -5
These last couple of weeks were rough on Shawn. More so than usual anyway. Two weeks ago, he and Polaris had finally brought things back to peace with each other, last week he found out he was going to be a father, and in that same week they told both their families of the news. Now this week, Shawn just about had a meltdown from all this stress. First off, he didn't think he was ready to be father. No, he knew he wasn't ready to be a father. In fact, he never thought he was fitting to be one in the first place! But things changed. Whether he liked it or not, he was going to be a father, and no way would he let Polaris down again, no matter what. He already screwed up so many times before with her, he didn't want to do it again.
So with all that happening, Shawn finally managed to get out of both households and on his own for a while. Something he's actually missed. He wandered into the forest, leaned up against his usual tree and pulled out a cigarette to light and started smoking away. "Ahh, that's more like it." he sighed out a puff of smoke. "Baby, you have no idea how much I've missed you." he spoke softly to the cigarette butt sticking out in between his fingers. He stuck it back between his lips, leaned his head back and closed his eyes then, breathing out puffs of smoke every couple breaths.
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Post by Lezzi on Apr 26, 2012 19:44:51 GMT -5
Polaris was about fed up with all of this baby crap. She knew it was this whole new responsibility thing she's gotten herself into but after she'd told her family, she was ready to wish none of it had ever happened. Nada had been furious but not as upset as Romi was with her. She was sure that if he was the head of the family he would disown her completely. She felt worse for Shawn though, who she knew hated commitments in general. Now, even if the wanted to try to stay with her before, he had this tie to her and she hated it mainly because she knew he wasnt taking any of it easy.
She finally got to run from he house on the day of her sister's baby shower. She knew Annie would understand, Annie was the smaller one having the baby but she had both families and her boyfriend supporting her and it almost seemed planned. Polaris sometimes had to stop herself from thinking about Annie so she wouldn't feel jealous. Shaking her head, she found her woods, climbing onto the first tree she could. She knew someone would probably kill her for it later, climbing with a developing baby inside her, but at the moment she was in full "I don't give a fuck" mood. She went through the trees for sometime before she spotted smoke, then purple hair, then some kind of irony. She couldn't help but chuckle softly to herself as she lowered onto the branch above Shawn. She hesitated before speaking, but decided to take a gentle approach. "Why does this feel fuckin ironic & familiar?" She asked as she hung upside down on the branch in front of him, baby thoughts forcibly forgotten.
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Post by Tori on Apr 26, 2012 20:15:06 GMT -5
Just as Shawn was in his relaxed state of mind, a voice suddenly brought him out of it. The same voice that got him out of everything in his head. "Rissy?" he mumbled, looking up above him. "Wh--aren't you suppose to be resting or something with that...i-in your condition?" Obviously he still wasn't used to saying the B word yet. Even Polaris knew that.
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Post by Lezzi on Apr 27, 2012 13:27:00 GMT -5
Polaris ignored the "that" in his sentence and just shrugged, looking rather odd from her position. "Do I look like I want to rest?" trying to sound rebelious so he would understand it wasn't like she had changed much. She sighed and sat on the branch again. "Do you want me to go?" She mumbled, sure that he had come out here for the same reason she had: to try forget everything for a minute and collect thoughts.
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Post by Tori on Apr 27, 2012 20:18:47 GMT -5
Shawn continued looking straight ahead, now chewing partly on his cigarette. "Well, you're here now. Might as well stay." he mumbled to her, moving his cigarette to the side of his mouth to spit in the dirt before returning to his chewing again. "So...how's everyone at your house taking it?" he asked suddenly, figuring she would know what he meant by that.
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Post by Lezzi on May 1, 2012 19:55:57 GMT -5
Polaris took a second before answering him. "Well I can't say they're taking it lightly. Pretty sure Romi's disowned me silently and everyone's a little frazzled since Annie's having a baby too." She sighed, trying once again not to think about Annie and her relationship with the baby and father. "Yours?" She asked a bit softly.
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Post by Tori on May 2, 2012 20:28:38 GMT -5
Shawn scoffed lightly, mumbling something to himself that sounded like, "Never liked that Romi guy..." as he kept his gaze ahead of him. "Hm..well, Toni's still 'disappointed' in me... the girls keep saying how I should see it more as a positive thing... and the guys who keep saying stuff either like, 'sucks for you dude', or 'good luck with that.'" He shook his head slightly, spitting out his now chewed up cigarette butt and reached in his pocket for another to light up. "I hate my fucking life." he mumbled again to himself. "Every fucking time....I screw myself over somehow..." he mumbled again, puffing out a few smokes after sliding his lighter back in his pocket and continued playing with his jackknife he always kept on him for security.
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Post by Lezzi on May 3, 2012 19:06:26 GMT -5
Polaris kept silent, her chest starting to hurt from guilt, anger, annoyance, frustration, pain, every negative thing and she was surprised that she wasn't throwing a sarcastic & harsh remark at him, telling him it was his fault and his mess and if she could leave him with all of the pain and appointments and family worry she would. But all she said was "Sorry I screwed it up worse than you could've ever thought possible." And with that she picked herself up on the branch and started making her way higher to go find some other tree to sulk in. He annoyed her so much sometimes and she wanted to be selfish to and whine at him about her cramps and her annoying doctors and her now clingy family. But it's not like it would make her feel any better because she knew he wouldn't care. she figured if he had the choice, he would ditch her with the little infant.
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Post by Tori on May 3, 2012 21:33:13 GMT -5
After that sudden remark, Shawn looked up, noticing Polaris slowly moving higher up in the tree. Quickly and without thinking, he grabbed her foot, not hard, but enough to get her attention back to him. "Hey. I never said any of this was your fault, you know. It's my life I fucked up. It's my fault I couldn't stay out of your pants for two fucking seconds. It's my fault, Rissy. It's my fucking fault. Not yours." he tried explaining to her, hoping it would help even in the slightest of ways. "So don't go beating yourself up about all this. Trust me, if weren't for me....you wouldn't be in this sort of situation... you wouldn't be pregnant. Just think, if you had never met me, its likely you'd be with your family right now celebrating that your sister was having a baby, and you weren't. None of this drama with me would have happened. And...." he took a deep breath for these next few, rare, words coming from his mouth. He turned his head away and shut his eyes tightly before finally saying, "I'm sorry. I'm just sorry."
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Post by Lezzi on May 4, 2012 17:41:48 GMT -5
Polaris was a little startled when he grabbed her foot but she stayed put. Her chest started to clench again when he started saying it was his fault. She still had the battle of emotions going on and she was fighting whether or not to have sympathy in there too. Moving to sit back on the branch to listen to him, she licked her lips as he continued, her heart skipping when he mentioned her sister's baby shower. Completely stunned when he apologized, she didn't know what to say or do. "I..." You couldn't come back a sorry with another sorry, that just looked stupid. And truth be told, she wasn't sorry at the moment. She was anything but. Finally she moved off the branch, and tried something she knew would probably just back fire; grabbing his hand, she kissed his cheek. "We said we were going to try to be together didn't we? Before it, didn't we want to at least try?" She was muttering, trying to piece the sentences together, barely making sense to herself. moving in front of him, she grabbed his other hand. "This is probably the worst way for us to try, but how the hell could it get any worse?" She tried a small smile at him. "We couldn't fuck this up any more if we tried. So what the hell do we have to lose now? Even if our families disowned us, kicked us out, and chased us out of town, that'd probably be a lot less pressure. All we have to figure out now is where we go from here...and I guess that starts with you and me, doesn't it?" She wanted him to look at her, to actually understand what she was saying, for once to have the information sink into his head and for him to give two shits.
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Post by Tori on May 4, 2012 22:51:39 GMT -5
Shawn wasn't expecting Polaris to listen to her, or even turn back around. But she did anyway. He looked up only slightly when he grabbed his hand, and didn't make a single movement when she kissed him. Not a flinch. He just stared at her with a blank expression as she spoke, though he was listening intently to her. He just couldn't believe she was speaking to him like this. Like she actually cared. Or it seemed that way anyway. He just wasn't used to anything like that. What he was used to was every man for himself. If you got screwed, so to speak, then you were screwed alone. Not this time. Shawn nodded his head slowly in agreement to what she was saying. It was true. Things couldn't get any worse from here. She was already pregnant. Not even abortion had crossed his mind. "I...I guess..." he mumbled. His hands fell limp in hers as he bit his lip thinking of what else to say to that explanation she gave him just now. "So...I guess now all we can do is...to just deal with what we have going, and....go from there?" he really had no idea what to do. He's never been in this sort of situation before, therefore had no idea where to go from here.
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Post by Lezzi on May 7, 2012 16:36:56 GMT -5
Polaris shrugged and looked down, letting go of his hands. "I guess so..." She rubbed the back of her neck, trying to think of something to say. This was weird and scary and aggravating for her and she had to admit she could've probably gotten everything figured out more easily by herself. Now she had Shawn to worry about and figure things out with a get along with. This was going to be slow and painful but without him, it may just make things worse with her family...especially Nada and Romi.
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Post by Tori on May 7, 2012 19:30:02 GMT -5
Shawn scrunched up his face slightly, trying to think of something else to say as well, but drew a blank instead. "Well..." he started to say, while chewing on his second cigarette butt. "I mean, I guess the right thing to ask would be, have you seen any doctors lately? Like, to see if you and...." he nodded to her stomach, "are healthy and all that?"
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Post by Lezzi on May 7, 2012 20:19:08 GMT -5
Polaris looked at him, almost laughing at his avoiding the baby. "Yeah it's all fine so far we think. I haven't gotten one of those pictures yet though. The scans or whatever." She bit her lip and looked at the ground. "Caris told me to...uh ask...if you wanted to be there to see it...when we do scan it...like in a few months or whenever." She became suddenly interested in her shoes rather than his answer, avoiding looking at him. "Naming will be the hardest I told her." She chuckled, almost like she didn't know what she was saying but just rambling. "Cause you and I can't agree on much. I mean...I don't know." She closed her eyes tight, tying hard not to cry. She was so fucking over the tears she had cried more in this past week than her whole life.
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Post by Tori on May 7, 2012 20:53:03 GMT -5
Shawn nodded with every word she said to him, that is until she asked him the question he wasn't expecting. "Uh..." he started to say, but decided to let her finish speaking before saying anything else. It gave him more thought of what to say exactly anyway. "Well, maybe this will be the first time we'll agree on something...We're gonna have to soon, anyway." he shrugged, finally deciding to look up at her with a straight face then. "And...yeah. I'll...I'll go look at the picture things with you."
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