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Post by kristay on Mar 19, 2011 20:01:06 GMT -5
Kai listened to every word, noticing how lost she seemed and how into the story she was. He moved back to her and briefly grasped her hand, suddenly at a loss on what to do. "So was Andy your brother?" She had never really mentioned anything about a brother before and she was pretty sure that if Andy was her biological brother, he would be with Katniss but when they were still in MABTown, he had never seen anyone who looked like that little boy. So who was he? And where was he? And why did Donia look like her heart was breaking when she spoke about him?
((Sorry. Short.))
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Déjà vu
Script Writer
All over again.
Posts: 106
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Post by Déjà vu on Mar 19, 2011 23:40:39 GMT -5
Donia nodded, barely noticing him take her hand. "Yeah," she said. "He was. I mean, as much as Katniss is my little sister. Being with them...I've had a lot of homes over the years, you know. Some residences were good, some bad, but that was the only one that ever felt like home to me." Donia wasn't sure he would understand, since he'd only ever had one family, but the Hazlins, Katniss, and Andy had been so much more important to her than her real parents were. "Even that's gone, though. The fire took everything." But we're building back up. Katniss and I are strong, at least during the day. "Listen, I know I brought it up, but can we just...talk about something else?" Donia asked, her right hand still on the gold chain around her throat and her other hand slipping from Kai's grasp to the burn on her arm.
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Post by kristay on Mar 20, 2011 10:07:03 GMT -5
Kai had so many questions he wanted to ask her but once again Donia retreated behind the wall she had built around her. He nodded. "Sure... It's alright.", it wasn't really. There was so much he didn't know about her and the usually patient Kai was getting just a little bit impatient. He ran his fingers through his hair before he stood up again; he didn't want to look at her scar; didn't want to see the permanent reminder of a fire he knew nothing about that could have made it possible for him to have never met Donia. He looked at the pictures, purposefully looking for one with no Andy or Katniss. He finally found one; the backdrop was vaguely familiar to him. "How about this one?" It had been a picture at the public pool; not a place he really frequented but it was something that reminded him of the home he once had.
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Déjà vu
Script Writer
All over again.
Posts: 106
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Post by Déjà vu on Mar 20, 2011 11:09:29 GMT -5
"Um," Donia said, trying to collect herself again, and letting her hands rest by her sides while she took a steadying breath. "That one is actually from one of the first few weeks I was in MABtown. I was with Lorelai and Lila. That picture was taken with my digital, because it was waterproof, and I was just getting the hang of it. I was really just messing around, but I liked the way that one turned out," she said, because of the splash pattern. Donia picked up the pictures she had set aside and put them up on the wall as well, next to one of Mikhael and a guitar. "I...I look at that one every time I come in the room, you know. I mean, the one with Kat and Andy. I just can't get it out of my head." She hated herself for bringing it up again, but it was almost like lifting a weight from her body when she talked about it, though it brought her closer to tears.
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Post by kristay on Mar 20, 2011 20:21:24 GMT -5
He turned to watch her movements, surprised when she mentioned Kat and Andy again. Kai wanted to ask about them, but there was something that stopped him from doing so. He knew deep down that what he wanted more than anything at that particular moment was for her to trust him enough that she would tell him about them without him asking her to. Kai ran his fingers through his hair before moving closer to Donia, lightly tipping her chin upward so she could meet his gaze. "Donia, I really do want to be the one you can talk to about what happened... But you know I'm not going to force you." He took a deep breath before continuing. "You know that I'd wait for you, I promised you I would and I'm going to keep that promise." He pulled away, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he shrugged; a helpless gesture.
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Déjà vu
Script Writer
All over again.
Posts: 106
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Post by Déjà vu on Mar 20, 2011 23:16:48 GMT -5
Donia controlled her breathing when Kai tilted her face upward so that she might look at his. Not now, she thought, though she didn't think that mindset would even get her to talk tomorrow or next week or next month. She listened to his subsequent words, and pulled away when he did, averting her gaze but still seeing his posture anyway. She started talking again, probably so that Mikhael wouldn't just have to stand there waiting like he said he would. She didn't know what to say about her experience with the fire, except that she'd failed, so she spoke about her sister instead. "Katniss is a survivor," she said. "She's so strong in the face of something scary. When the fire started, she just ran away. She ran and ran as far as she could away from it, not stopping when she'd exited the house or when she reached the end of the street. She kept going. Eventually she passed out from exhaustion and the heat of the day, but she would never let that fire take her down, not that or anything else. And when she doesn't trust people, she doesn't crack. She won't tell them anything, won't let them win. She decides who's worth something. I've seen a lot of foster kids become subservient, and I thank God that never happened to her. Of course, she got a strong basis of stability -- we were all together for three years, starting when she was very young -- but that doesn't mean she didn't have chances to give in. She won't. I'm glad she has a chance to be a normal kid, now as before, a chance to relax, but that strength is the important thing. I wish I had that kind of strength. I panic. In a soccer game, I instinctively know what to do with the ball under pressure, but everywhere else?" Donia trailed off. It was so taxing to speak about this, and she was hardly saying anything at all! Donia could tell that he wanted to be there for her, but she didn't think that was what she needed. Couldn't they just do something normal? Of course, they were artists; good artists are never considered normal.
It's very bleh, but I wasn't in the mood to fix it, or even put it into paragraphs. Sorry.
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Post by kristay on Mar 21, 2011 20:09:12 GMT -5
Kai didn't say anything at all; he just let Donia speak about what happened, about Katniss and how she couldn't stop running. He sighed softly as Donia ended and he watched her, unsure of what to do or what to say. "Donia, everyone feels that way... Panic and not knowing what to do? It's normal..." He didn't want to say that he panicked when she left him, but he did. He didn't want to admit that when they found out Aya was sick, he couldn't sleep and felt incredibly restless, fear stabbed his heart every second she was at the hospital. "It's a rare person who knows what to do in every situation... I know I don't. I feel lost all the time." He met her gaze and smiled sadly. "Especially when I'm around you." He loved her, that was the truth of it. He wanted to be there for her until she grew tired of him... But that was just him; he didn't know what Donia wanted.
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Déjà vu
Script Writer
All over again.
Posts: 106
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Post by Déjà vu on Mar 21, 2011 20:23:53 GMT -5
"I just always feel so...lost," she said. In the way...crazy... ineffectual, she continued. How could that possibly be normal? "Goodness, I cannot even communicate what I mean here. I am trying, but it is not about me," she said, hating that, maybe, it was. "The world just seems to have decided that I'm not worth even an ounce of good luck." This was supposed to be her lucky opportunity, but it seemed she couldn't even enjoy it. She was too stuck on the past, worried about Katniss....
Donia knew he was right, but she looked down at the floor. He used the same word -- lost. But around her? "Why would you ever feel lost around me? I'm supposed to be easy to get on with, to be around. I do not intend to complicate anything." She brushed at a tear when it finally started to roll down her cheek, and she was lost for words again. "I'm sorry," she said, lowering her voice, almost to a whisper. "You are being so great, and I am just..." complicating things, as per usual.
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Post by kristay on Mar 21, 2011 20:48:37 GMT -5
Kai sighed softly and ran his fingers through his hair, taking a breath before moving closer to Donia. "I guess... I guess it's because I don't know what you want Donia." He tipped her chin up just like before, angry at himself that he had caused her to cry. "Do you even care about me? Is this going to go anywhere? Or am I just an idiot, grasping at straws, waiting for someone to lo--care about me like I care about them?" He paused, lightly brushing the pad of his thumb over her smooth pale cheek. "I promised you I'd wait Donia... But I don't want to be waiting in vain." He chuckled softly, hoping to break the awkward tension that seemed to rest on the both of them. "You know that no matter what you do, I'm still going to like that about you. It's what makes you who you are..." It's what I fell in love with.
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Déjà vu
Script Writer
All over again.
Posts: 106
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Post by Déjà vu on Mar 21, 2011 21:46:24 GMT -5
"Neither do I," Donia said, whispering so she wouldn't have to choke down a sob. Of course I care about you. Mikhael brushed his thumb across her cheek, and she could feel her heartbeat increase, her breathing quicken, but she wasn't panicking, at least not yet. His touch was light, careful. It felt nice. Donia closed her eyes. "I really missed you, Mi---Kai," she did sob, then, and she opened her eyes back up. Donia lost the will to hold herself up and instead fell forward onto Kai's chest, her arms wrapping around his shoulders when she gained control of them. She was still crying. I'm going as fast as I can, Donia thought to herself. I cannot figure this out any faster. She didn't understand his words, because she didn't understand how they could be meant for her. "Would you stay here for a while? Just...stay here and sit with me?" No reservations, no death threats...just a plea that he would comfort her, that he really was going to be here for her, not just here for her.
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Post by kristay on Mar 21, 2011 23:19:01 GMT -5
Kai was stunned when Donia moved close to him, suddenly hugging him; it wasn't something that he had expected. He wrapped his arm around her waist and hugged her tightly, just because he knew she needed it badly. "I'll stay with you as long as you need me to Donia." And he knew that he'd stay forever if that was what she wanted. He was so in love with her then... Maybe Mikhael had always been in love with her, but maybe he only realized just how much he wanted her to love him back just then.
He knew she hated it when he picked her up but he scooped her up anyway, "I'm not going to do anything; I'm just picking you up and taking you to your bed, okay?" Kai carefully deposited her onto her bed before picking up the boxes they had been looking through, placing them on the floor so he could sit with her. It seemed awkward but Kai kicked off his shoes and moved to lean against her head board, opening his arms to her so she could curl up to him. Kai was staying; he'd stay forever if that was what she wanted. He'd do whatever she wanted. Because Mikhael Tay had taken his heart and offered it on a silver platter to Donia; he didn't know if she knew it or not, but the offer stood and always would.
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Déjà vu
Script Writer
All over again.
Posts: 106
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Post by Déjà vu on Mar 22, 2011 21:01:10 GMT -5
Mikhael's strong hands gripped her, and then scooped her up. Donia was so focused on this welcome pressure that she hardly registered the words he spoke. She felt the absence of his arms around her when he set her on her bed, but she was alright. When he moved onto the bed, Donia crawled toward him, laying her head on the side of his chest and pulling her legs up halfway. "Thank you," she breathed. She felt quite relieved; Donia couldn't ever remember letting herself be taken care of before. "I know I do not deserve this," she said. It was insane, but she did believe that Kai would stick around, that he wouldn't just spend time with her taking and looking at pictures, or eating with her, but that he'd try kicking a soccer ball around, and playing with her sister when she came to visit...just like she knew she'd listen to him play guitar at just about any time, even though she didn't particularly care for music.
You could tell him, you know. He wouldn't judge you, she thought to herself, thinking of events that had happened a very long time ago. Would he think her brave, or would she condemn her for, in effect, abandoning her parents? She hadn't been mad or ambitious, as some people suspected in her early years when she told what had happened. She had just been just scared, and worried, and not just for herself. "Kai," she said, but part of her wanted him to start speaking, so she could just lay there and listen, so that she wouldn't have to break the ice with her oldest secret. She couldn't talk about the fire, she knew, but she couldn't stay silent, either. It wasn't fair to him.
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Post by kristay on Mar 22, 2011 21:34:12 GMT -5
Kai smiled at her as he tightened his grip around her waist. "You're welcome Donia." He wanted to tell her that she deserved everything but knew that wouldn't be a welcome compliment so he just kept on holding her. He continued to watch her even if they were almost drowning in the silence between them. There were so many things that needed to be said but he still continued to wait. When he did hear his name come from her lips, he met her gaze and offered her a tiny smile. "Donia?" He wondered if she would talk about the fire, about what happened to Andy or Katniss, or what happened to her. He wondered if she would tell him about her life before or about anything that made her who she was. He wanted so badly to know but he also knew that he couldn't force her; he'd never force her.
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Déjà vu
Script Writer
All over again.
Posts: 106
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Post by Déjà vu on Mar 22, 2011 22:24:28 GMT -5
It seemed as though it was up to her to carry the conversation. "I want," she said, and then sighed. "I want to tell you everything. I am tired, though, so," a breathy laugh escaped her lips, "I will probably fall asleep before I get all that far." Her lids were getting heavy; this day had been so much more eventful than she had expected. Donia paused, then started her story, trying, this time, to look Mikhael in the face rather than pick a spot in the corner of the room to focus on. "I hate cities," she started. "I hate the noise of cities, the smell of cities, how busy they are...I hate cities because I used to live in one, when I was really little. I mean, I actually lived in the city. Most of the time. My father couldn't hold down a job long enough for us to stay in an apartment consistently, so we lived on people's couches, in group homes, sometimes even in alleyways along what one might call the local hooker street. We lived in so many places, and the atmosphere was simply so loud, so confusing. My dad smoked and both of my parents binge drank, not that I really understood it then." Donia looked away then. She didn't want to see his reaction to that. "When my little sister wasn't quite a year old, just about too old for nursing, my parents made the decision to give her up. I just...I went with her." Donia looked back at Kai. "I couldn't...I couldn't just watch her go. I didn't want to lose that little helpless girl. I saw myself in her, and letting that disappear...I didn't want that to happen." Donia closed her eyes and sighed. "Long story short, people are much more prone to adopting toddlers and babies than they are kids who already have concrete memories. I lost her anyway."
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Post by kristay on Mar 22, 2011 22:44:15 GMT -5
He chuckled with her and smoothed her hair as he nodded. "It's alright; just tell me as much as you can until you fall asleep. We can continue another time." Kai was so relieved that she wanted to tell him everything. It meant that she had finally decided to open up to him, it meant that his waiting had not been in vain, it meant that there was a chance that Donia could reciprocate everything he felt for her. Kai met her gaze as she began her story and offered her a soft smile to show his support. He listened and kept his mouth shut the entire time.
He moved his hand away from her hair, afraid that she would notice how he was shaking with anger. How could someone have done something so terrible to two helpless children? It was beyond cruel, it was barbaric and he wanted to find them and hurt them but instead, he took a deep breath before meeting her gaze. "How old were you then?"
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