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Post by Tori on Apr 24, 2011 23:22:33 GMT -5
Shawn listened closely, nodding, flinching only slightly when she pulled his arm back down, hanging onto it tightly for a short while. He bit his lip, letting her finish her story before saying what he had to say next. As she told her story of her past relationship, Shawn couldn't help thinking of how much this guy reminded him of himself. Is she for real? Is she talking about me, just to get her point across? thoughts kept filling in his head, but didn't stop him from continuing to listen the rest of the way through up to when she quickly let go of his hand finally, again. "Wow. Um..." was all he could say at that moment, for no other words could fill in how he was feeling about this right now. "I don't know what else to say. I mean, I guess I can see how Nada can be so protective of you, especially when I came in your life all of a sudden." he told, biting his lip, trying to keep up his goodness streak while it was still active. "It's just that...I know I've said this a million times before, but I really don't mean to act the way I've been acting. And..." he paused, looking down at the ground mumbling the last few words to come out of his mouth, "I do want to change. I just...I need help."
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Post by Lezzi on Apr 24, 2011 23:31:28 GMT -5
Polaris scoffed lightly at his awkward words, not trying to be mean. "Yeah, all true story. Guy's name was Jenson." She shut her eyes, her lips feeling like fire when she said his name. It was like another furse she had to carry, but she so easily hid. She nodded, listening to him. "I understand you do and I understand it's going to take a while but... it was mainly all that you said that got me mad. Just what you called me and stuff. I know I said some pretty bad things too." She glanced at him. "I'm sorry. I don't want you to forget about me and I think it's impossible for me to forget about you." She bit her lip, putting her hands in her pockets.
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Post by Tori on Apr 24, 2011 23:43:16 GMT -5
Shawn nodded at her lip trembling at the guy's name she mentioned, furrowing his brows in concentration of what she was telling him next. "Yeah, sorry 'bout that." he mumbled out, still looking at the ground as they walked. He really did mean what he said, sometimes his tone of voice just didn't come out like people expect it to. "I just..I never really had anyone actually care or watch over me. Well, except for Toni that is.." he mentioned, "...my foster Dad that is. Before him, I've only really ever had myself. I mean, sure, I had a gang by my side, but honestly, we never really cared for each other. It was pretty much every man for himself." he explained, biting his lip with his own hands in his pockets, catching himself staring back at the ground kicking at a small pebble in front of them. He had overheard her say something about it being hard to forget about him in her mind, but he decided to let it go, only letting a light smile come out of it when she said that, managing to mutter out a soft and low, 'thanks'.
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Post by Lezzi on Apr 24, 2011 23:49:34 GMT -5
She shook her head. "I pretty much am those things when you think about it. I don't try to be a slut, but I guess I am, and I know I can be a bitch." She listened to him, shrugging. "You'll find out soon enough that are people who care and want you around. Sometimes your own attitude pushes them away, but everyone does that at some point." She caught his smile, looking away. "I know that probably one reason why we screw up a lot is because I tell you some of my feelings, but I don't get anything back. Although I kind of understand why... I think. I don't know." She closed her eyes briefly, sighing.
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Post by Tori on Apr 25, 2011 18:35:23 GMT -5
Shawn nodded admittedly. "Not trying to start another fight or anything, but I do agree with you on that. As well as how I can be such an ass or a douche. Because I know its true." he shrugged, figuring it was time for them both to start admitting their flaws and such. "Yeah, I think I got to that point where I already pushed practically everyone out of my life. No one wants me around." he mumbled the last part more under his breath than anything else, still not able to give her direct eye contact just yet, until Polaris put out that last statement of hers that is. He tilted his head up slightly, looking at her from the corner of his eye, biting his lip slightly. "I don't think you do." he started saying, "In case you haven't noticed, and I'm sure you have by now, I'm pretty hard to read. I just..I hide my feelings inside, which only causes them to build up to a point when I explode with frustration or anger or whatever." he told her, as if it was never so obvious to her. "I don't mean to...that's just how I grew up." he tilted his head more, finally making contact with her.
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Post by Lezzi on Apr 25, 2011 18:42:21 GMT -5
Polaris shook her head. "I think we're done yelling at each other for the moment. If we're agreeing, that's a start right?" She asked hopefully, not really loking at him. She shook her head, shrugging. "I've had one or two cousins that were in your shoes. One was a complete ass to everyone and she never really got over it til the point where almost everyone hated her. When she found someone that decided to butt heads with her, it sort of woke her up. She just built things up, lashing them out at the wrong people." Polaris looked over at him when he looked up at her. "I was to help with that. It's just every time I think I get close enough...I get pushed away again. So I don't know what you want me to do. Because I'm starting to get worried into just laying low so that I don't hurt myself. It's selfish, but I just..don't want a repeat of things." She closed her eyes briefly again, then finally looked back at him, taking a deep breath. "So how are we going to do this? Keep trying or just..back off?" She didn't want to go for the second option, but if it was she had to do, then she'd do it.
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Post by Tori on Apr 25, 2011 18:55:30 GMT -5
Shawn nodded with a light grin again. "I'd rather agree with you than continue to argue and yell." he admitted gratefully with a nod of his head, listening to how her cousins were sort of like him as well before. "Did they ever live on the streets though? With a gang? Stealing?" he forwarded a bunch of questions over to her all of a sudden without thinking, as he gave a shrug, realizing what he just did. "Sorry, I don't mean to compete with anyone...I just, I don't think anyone knows what I've really been through." he explained to her, rotating his eyes back down at the ground again, thinking of how exactly to work all this out with Polaris now. "Well..I don't want you to back off of me completely." he started. "I mean, I prefer if we would just," he looked back up at her again, "you know, keep trying. We already know more about each other already, so it shouldn't be too much harder. Now that we know what areas in each of us are the most sensitive. For example, I'd prefer not to talk any more of my past life. And you, well, I'll just have to make sure not to make any of the mistakes that whats-his-name did to you."
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Post by Lezzi on Apr 25, 2011 19:06:55 GMT -5
Polaris smirked lightly, glad they were argeeing on good terms now. Polaris shook her head. "Shade didn't exactly have that stuff, but hers was...well I shouldn't say worse, but it there was more blood shed in her story." It sent chills down Poalris' spine, remembering the short story Caris had told her when she had asked why Shade was mean and cold hearted. "No one could live through exactly what you've gone through. I was just saying, that's how I thought I understood where you got off at being the way you were. People's past does that." She nodded again, looking at him and sighing with content that the were trying to work this through. She smiled as he said 'whats-his-name'. "Thanks. I wont bring up what happened since you've already given me a summary before and I gave you..well a long summary. But I think we've got a pretty good deal. I get that you aren't going to change over night, so I'll try to be a little less hard headed. But you need to stop using 'I'm trying to change' line on me whenever you get mad." She winked to show she was playing, smirking softly.
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Post by Tori on Apr 25, 2011 19:27:52 GMT -5
Shawn nodded, hearing this story made him think about his own past again. Sure, his past probably didn't have as much blood in it, but it sure had a hell of a lot of fights in it; punches, kicks. The only blood that was involved was Shawn cutting himself early on. "I understand where your coming from though." he told her simply, playing with one of his lip rings as they continued walking out where he didn't hardly know where they were at. Close to the freeway, he knew, because of all the cars passing by, honking, was so near now. He gave a light chuckle at the last thing she put out for their little deal they had going on. "I"ll try not to. But I can't guarantee that it'll slip out every now and then. I am trying to change after all." he smirked right back, giving a quick wink showing he was just messing with her.
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Post by Lezzi on Apr 25, 2011 19:37:34 GMT -5
Polaris flipped her hair out of her face, noticing the car traffic starting to get thicker and louder. She smirked lightly at him at his last comment. "Yeah yeah, bull shit. t should be an excuse not to pelt me with things like that. You should say it to yourself more often, or I might have to do something about it." She pushed him gently so he wouldn't go far, quickly linking her arm in his. "I think it's my turn to choose directions, you're just getting us no where." She smiled lightly at him and quickly turned to their left, running, even though she had no idea where she was going.
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Post by Tori on Apr 25, 2011 19:54:44 GMT -5
Shawn laughed a little harder this time, a wider grin beginning to come out of hiding finally. "Oh, we'll see about that." he teased right back, nearly tripping after she started running with her arm still linked onto his. "Whoa!" he yelled, getting his footing back on track, running along with her, whipping his hair back out of his face as it was falling in his eyes more often than usual. "Where the hell are we going?" he finally asked, panting for breath, obviously out of shape from running this fast from before he lived on the streets. "Come on now, you're the one getting us no where!" he shouted again, with a smirk kept on his face.
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Post by Lezzi on Apr 25, 2011 20:26:21 GMT -5
Polaris glared lightly at him but still had a smirk left on her face. She laughed, stopping in an alleyway to catch her breath. "Come on now, you can't be panting this early in the run."She laughed, leaning against the wall. "I have no idea. But it's better than walking on the same street for so long. I though I could add in a little excitement for you." She winked at him, taking a deep breath to recover her breath easily.
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Post by Tori on Apr 25, 2011 20:36:17 GMT -5
Finally when they stopped in an ally way, Shawn was able to catch some of his breath, unlinking his arm from Polaris', to lean against a wall. "I haven't ran like that since I lived on the streets before." he tried explaining, keeping a smirk on his face as he continued, taking a deep breath as he did so, "The last time I ran like that, was to hide from the cops back in my old neighborhood." he snickered, crossing his arms, actually feeling more at home now that they were in an ally; the only place where Shawn actually felt at home. "Thanks for the excitement though." he grinned, keeping his arms crossed balancing his boot behind him on the wall, looking like he did before when he lived in an ally, but without a cigarette stuck in his mouth.
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Post by Lezzi on Apr 25, 2011 20:47:36 GMT -5
Polaris smirked, looking him over as he put on a pose against the wall. She smirked as he started telling her about the streets. "That's nice." She nodded. "When he used to take me out on one of his raids with his friends, me and the other girls acted as lookouts." She put one hand behind her head, then other in her pocket. She figured since he had brought up something, she should too. Like a game to take turns. "Only it wasnt as much fun and this isn't dangerous." She smirked at him. "I may have only been a lookout, but I've got some street smarts too. Who do you think taught Nada to take such a good swing?" She punched him in the arm lightly, but still hard enough and started running. "I dare you to catch me Punk!" She called back. She felt like she was back, running with Jenson and his crew, yelling taunts at the people chasing them, her old Leather biker jacket in the place if her shabby Thor brand one she wore at the present.
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Post by Tori on Apr 25, 2011 22:05:16 GMT -5
"Lookout, huh?" Shawn smirked, letting out a little snicker as well. "Well its no wonder--Ow!" he started out saying, before getting punched in the arm. Even though it hardly even hurt at all, Shawn continued messing around with Polaris, rubbing his shoulder acting as though it really did hurt, smirking at her starting a chase. Punk? Oh, you have no idea how big of a punk I can be, slut!" he yelled right back teasingly, starting off back on his feet chasing after Polaris, not far behind her. Soon enough, Shawn was right on her heels, reaching out with his right hand, looping his arm through hers, gripping hold of her tightly, so she couldn't slip away from his grasp. Laughing hysterically as he had pulled her into another ally, throwing her against the wall, not too hard though, and pressed his body up against hers. "Heh, and you thought you could get away from me." he snickered, still grasping at her wrists, holding her down against the wall, licking his bottom lip over both of his piercings.
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